Joke thread

The first time I saw Back to the Future, it was at a cinema in Norwich.



As I was watching, I thought "Oh my God, he's going to fuck his mum !"



Thankfully though, before they were actually able to do it, the usher came and chucked them both out.
Oedipus married his mum.
 
So my friend said to me..

... "I'm looking for some carol singers next week as we're low on numbers.

So far it's only Dean, Dawn, Mary, Lee and I..."

10 minutes, 10 f$$king minutes..........

No, no, no, It cant be, can it ??


Someone shoot this man and put us all out of our misery
 
A lorry driver goes on a date with a girl. Afterwards, they go back to her parents house.
They were just about to have sex on the couch when he could feel the cold barrel of a gun on his neck.
Before he could turn around, her father said, 'If you're a real lorry driver, you'll be able to back out of there with a full load!'
 
I stopped by the front desk at a hotel I was staying at recently.

In the lobby was a group of people talking loudly; bragging about how great they had done at a regional chess tournament.

I could have been annoyed at how loud they were, but it actually put me in the Christmas spirit. There's just something about chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
 

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