Joke thread

[mexico1970]

My viewing for tonight and New Years Day.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Lavinda Past]

My friend has been sick since Christmas so I went to visit him today and took some presents.

I hope he doesn't notice they're missing.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Five charged with Liam Payne's murder...

When did Enid Blyton start writing again?

 

[Lavinda Past]

People told Beethoven he would never make it

But did he listen?

 

[LWashington]

Where were Elvis's favourite two months of the year ?

FebruaryMarch

 

[Blue Bogey]

I hope Pep has remembered to tell the team to have a poop before the end of the 31st December.

We don’t want to be carrying the same shit into the New Year!

 

[Lavinda Past]

Bought my wife one of them mood rings for Christmas and ive just discovered how it works.

When shes in a good mood it turns green and when shes in a bad mood it leaves a fucking big red mark on my forehead

 

[Lavinda Past]

Ann Summers has announced it's going to start selling a lager-flavoured gel that is 5.3% alcohol, for women to rub on their privates, in a bid to encourage men to perform oral
sex.

Campaigners have condemned the move because of fears that it will lead to 24-hour minge drinking

 

[Lavinda Past]

Vin Diesel eats only two meals per day:
1) Breakfast
2) Breakfurious

 

[Lavinda Past]

I was quite happy playing cards with the wife last night, when suddenly she snapped.

 

[Lavinda Past]

They say sex sharpens your memory.

With that said, have a Happy 2022 friends!

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[northendenton]

Just watching an old rerun of an old Scottish comedy series and a sketch was listing drinks for the royal family
and got to prince Andrew and his was a gin and bromide who knew back in 1992

 

[sir baconface]

 

[sir baconface]

 

[jimharri]