Joke thread

A bloke on a night time fishing session decides to start a conversation with the angler next to him.


"Alright mate. Here on holiday?"


"Nah" he repies. "I'm on my honeymoon."


"On your honeymoon!! So why the hell aren't you at home fucking the life out your missus?"


"Can't do that." he replies. "She got every STD imaginable. Her minge is covered in supperating sores and leaks a constant stream of foul smelling green goo."


"Well why not go up trap 2 and pound the fuck out of her arse?"


"Can't do that" he says. "She's had a rectal prolapse and you can basically see her kidneys. The sphincter muscle has ripped and shit continually drips down the inside of her leg."


"Well if you don't mind me asking. Why the fuck did you marry someone so foul and disgusting?"


"For the maggots."
 
Sam101 said:
A bloke on a night time fishing session decides to start a conversation with the angler next to him.


"Alright mate. Here on holiday?"


"Nah" he repies. "I'm on my honeymoon."


"On your honeymoon!! So why the hell aren't you at home fucking the life out your missus?"


"Can't do that." he replies. "She got every STD imaginable. Her minge is covered in supperating sores and leaks a constant stream of foul smelling green goo."


"Well why not go up trap 2 and pound the fuck out of her arse?"


"Can't do that" he says. "She's had a rectal prolapse and you can basically see her kidneys. The sphincter muscle has ripped and shit continually drips down the inside of her leg."


"Well if you don't mind me asking. Why the fuck did you marry someone so foul and disgusting?"


"For the maggots."
Click to expand...
Gross !!!


But for some reason, mildly amusing....
 
Guy speaking to his mate in the boozer after his 8th child was born, guy said 8th child jeez have you tried safe sex Guy says well I’ve built a hand rail around the bed
 
Sam101 said:
A bloke on a night time fishing session decides to start a conversation with the angler next to him.


"Alright mate. Here on holiday?"


"Nah" he repies. "I'm on my honeymoon."


"On your honeymoon!! So why the hell aren't you at home fucking the life out your missus?"


"Can't do that." he replies. "She got every STD imaginable. Her minge is covered in supperating sores and leaks a constant stream of foul smelling green goo."


"Well why not go up trap 2 and pound the fuck out of her arse?"


"Can't do that" he says. "She's had a rectal prolapse and you can basically see her kidneys. The sphincter muscle has ripped and shit continually drips down the inside of her leg."


"Well if you don't mind me asking. Why the fuck did you marry someone so foul and disgusting?"


"For the maggots."
Click to expand...
Halfway through my breakfast reading that cheers.
 
On yesterday's pointless. Countries that have appeared in multiple world cups?. Contestant: Charlton Athletic

Fucking hell, you don't need to know anything about football to know Charlton isn't a fucking country, pmsl
 
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