Joke thread

Last week I was taken to the St Thomas hospital London with a possible concussion after falling against the door in my house.

Doctor asked me a series of questions:
Do you know where you are?
I’m at the St Thomas hospital, I replied
What town are you in?
London, I replied.
Do you know who I am?
Yes, you're Doctor Hamilton, I replied.

The doctor said that he was going to go away for a little while and come back.

After he left I turned to my missus who had taken me to the hospital and said, I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.

Why? She asked.

I replied, because all of the answers were on his badge.
 
Bri1975 said:
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Must have been agony wearing an item made of glass all night. We know for certain she left just before midnight and must have been at the venue for at least an hour, in order to make the prince’s acquaintance etc, etc.

As they danced her feet would have been squeezed excruciatingly painfully, not to mention the additional work she would have had to do to keep her balance on the polished dance floor what with her shoes having no rubber soles. This being the era of no superglue to affix the rubber soles.

No way her feet had shrunk, allowing the shoe to just “fall off”.


;)
 
Citizen of Legoland said:
Must have been agony wearing an item made of glass all night. We know for certain she left just before midnight and must have been at the venue for at least an hour, in order to make the prince’s acquaintance etc, etc.

As they danced her feet would have been squeezed excruciatingly painfully, not to mention the additional work she would have had to do to keep her balance on the polished dance floor what with her shoes having no rubber soles. This being the era of no superglue to affix the rubber soles.

No way her feet had shrunk, allowing the shoe to just “fall off”.


;)
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As the shoes were glass she would have sweated more than were she wearing a breathable shoe so that could account for slipping. Style over comfort it seems but at least she got the prince in the end so all was well.
 
Here is a good joke. I have been coming up from Cornwall since 1996 to watch City and because I have a PL post code and I have not been to a match on my own membership (always went up with my Dad on a family membership); tickets for Plymouth were rescinded 3 days ago. Only £200 out of pocket through accommodation and kennels but whatever. No contact number.....just security protocol automated message.
 
I was sitting next to this Australian fella on the train today and he looked thoroughly miserable.

“What’s up mate ?” I inquired

“I’ve just found out I have a half sister” he replied.

“Different fathers “ I asked

“No he said, “ A shark attack”
 
SamTheGuru said:
Here is a good joke. I have been coming up from Cornwall since 1996 to watch City and because I have a PL post code and I have not been to a match on my own membership (always went up with my Dad on a family membership); tickets for Plymouth were rescinded 3 days ago. Only £200 out of pocket through accommodation and kennels but whatever. No contact number.....just security protocol automated message.
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Is there any way you can use previous tickets as evidence for compensation?
 
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