Joke thread

[Sam101]

Bouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Me: "Why?"

Bouncer: "I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline."

 

[Sam101]

My wife died because I couldn't remember her blood type..


She was always strong, even in her last breath she was insisting "Be positive !!!! , Be positive !!!!! " but it's hard without her

 

[kippaxneil]

My nephew and his girlfriend like to dress up as Adrian Balboa and Apollo Creed.
I think they're going through a Rocky patch.

 

[mosssideblue]

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

A guy took his blow up doll back to the sex shop and said to the assistant it keeps going down on me ! Shushhh not so loud said the assistant they’ll all want one!

I gave my doll a love bite - she farted and flew out of the window.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

I used to deliver to a family called Stoyles.

I often wondered, if they were Nobby's Brummie relatives.

And I'll bet the all thought a kipper tie came with 3 sugars

 

[Sam101]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[sir baconface]

 

[mosssideblue]

 

[kippaxneil]

My wife is very upset with me. She found some letters I’d been hiding. She says she feels betrayed and has lost all trust in me. I can’t say I blame her; I feel so ashamed.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she never plays Scrabble with me again.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Dicko69]

 

[Vienna_70]

View attachment 151060

Spring forward.

 

[Vienna_70]

Did you hear about the rag, who cut his pizza into quarters, because he didn’t think he could eat six slices?

 

[Dazzle84]

View attachment 151060

The clocks go forwards this weekend.

 

[mosssideblue]

Spring forward.

I know, but enjoy the joke

 

[mosssideblue]

The clocks go forwards this weekend.

I know