Joke thread

Professor Wook Fu Yung, famous sex therapist answers the door to a nervous young lady, who eventually explains that she hasn't had sex for 2 years.

"Come in, come in!" He commands.

In she goes, already intimidated.

"Now, take off all your crose"

"Pardon??" She asks, shocked and seriously regretting coming.

"I said, take off all your crose. Now hully, we don't have all day"

She's standing there naked, trying to remember a more humiliating time in her entire life. She can't.

"Now, get on your knees, and crawr reery, reery quickry to the window"

She's now on the other side of the room.

"Now crawr reery, reery quickry back to me"

She races back to him and he says, gravely:

"I see the plobrem - you are suffeling from Ed Zachary disease - worst case I ever saw."

By this time the poor girl is beside herself:
"My God, Professor, that sounds serious - what is it?"

"Ed Zachary disease," he says, "is when your face, it rook ed zachary rike your arse!"
 
Baby balloon can’t sleep so she goes to get in bed with mummy and daddy balloon, but there’s not much room in the bed so she undoes mummy balloons string and lets a bit of air out, she gets in bed and there’s still not much room so she undoes daddy balloons string and lets some air out, she still cannot get in properly so undoes her own string and lets some air out gets in bed and finally goes to sleep.
Next morning daddy balloons is furious over her actions…
He says you’ve let your mum down ! You’ve let me down and most of all you’ve let yourself down!
 
If i had a pound for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
You could try a Thai bride?

My mate's just found a real beauty - they came straight from the airport as I'd just climbed out of the shower, wrapped only in a towel.

She gave me a hug, and honestly, her skin was so soft and she smelled so lovely, all I could think was "don't get an erection, don't get an erection, don't get..."

Sadly, she did :-(
 
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