Joke thread

[bluethrunthru]

 

[Sam101]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Tuearts right boot]

View attachment 165239

If there's a God on heaven, please tell me that's real

 

[bluethrunthru]

this made me laugh

 

[KS55]

If there's a God on heaven, please tell me that's real

God is a human invention.

 

[i kne albert davy]

God is a human invention.

I thought humans were a God invention:-)

 

[KS55]

I thought humans were a God invention:-)

Ah, you spotted the trick.

 

[Vienna_70]

I love taking the bus, but I don’t see why I should have to pay, when the driver is going that way, anyway.

 

[kippaxneil]

I bumped into my old French teacher the other day who asked me what I’m up to now.
I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother.

 

[Uwe Already]

I love taking the bus, but I don’t see why I should have to pay, when the driver is going that way, anyway.

When I was a kid I had to run behind the bus to save on the fair, turned out I could save considerably more by running behind a taxi…

 

[chris63]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[better dead than red]

A lorry driver's wife sees three parrots for sale.
£150, £130 and £10.
She asks the shopkeeper why the last parrot is so inexpensive.
The pet store owner says it used to live in a whore house.
The woman laughs and buys it.
She gets home and the parrot says, "Wow! A new whore house!"
The woman laughs...
When the woman's two daughters arrive home the parrots says, "Lovely!! Two new prostitutes!"
They all laugh!
When her husband, the lorry driver, walks in the door the parrot says, "Hello, George! You found the new spot!"
And...that is how the fight started.

 

[kippaxneil]

I've worked for some weird bosses over the years. One guy, had a sign behind his desk, 'You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps.'
The strange thing was, it was written in his own shit.

 

[Pancake Arse]

 

[Sam101]

 

[lefty goldblatt]

View attachment 165580

Your dad is Noseybonk, and I claim my £5

 

[Vienna_70]

How did Mr and Mrs Pinocchio make love?

She sat on his face, while he told lies.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]