Joke thread

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[TinFoilHat]

 

[chris63]

What does garlic do before it showers?


It takes it's cloves off.

 

[KS55]

Ah, always just assumed it meant the month. We always (her indoors really) order baskets and bedding plants for the Whitsun bank holidays.

The Hawthorne used to flower in May but, due to calendar changes, now flowers mainly in April. Some spectacular trees here in Yorkshire.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Prater70]

When my boss ordered me to stop impersonating a flamingo at work, I had to put my foot down.

 

[Vienna_70]

The Hawthorne used to flower in May but, due to calendar changes, now flowers mainly in April. Some spectacular trees here in Yorkshire.

It flowered right at the beginning of May last year, and it was a little later the year before.

However, I think it will be earlier this year, as it is already out in leaf, and the blackthorn is flowering now.

 

[Vienna_70]

I was in the pub last night, when I heard a bloke say that Liz Truss has a face like a sheep's arse.

One of the other men in the bar immediately thumped him. So he said to his attacker, "I'm sorry, sir. I didn’t realise that you’re a Conservative".

"I"m not; I'm a sheep farmer!"

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[chris63]

 

[bladdered]

 

[bladdered]

 

[Ho Chi Man City]

View attachment 188461

When we were kids we used to play “knock a door run”, now it’s called “being an Amazon driver”.

 

[Ho Chi Man City]

I’ve had the shits over the past few days, thank fuck Easter is finished, they’re back at School next week.

 

[edinburgh123]

she also accused NASA of racism when she found out the brown bit at the bottom gets thrown away and the astronauts stay in the lighter bit at the top

 

[sir baconface]