Life without kids??

The only time I ever regret not having kids is when I have to go out and mow the lawn, shovel the snow off our 140' of pavement or have to get up to grab myself a beer.
Then when I tell my mates that have kids this they just laugh at me and say, "yeah, like they do any of that".
 
I think a lot of men can take them or leave em. Most of my mates had kids cos their wives wanted one/some. They didn't have a burning desire and most of them other than a couple of weeks in the sun as a family do little with them as they get older.

The part time role suited me with my son when he was young. Had him 3 nights a week most weeks, called him every day I didn't see him and we have a great relationship. Still had 4 nights to do what I wanted until the youngest came along when he was almost 17 after getting remarried. Not had the same luxury for the last 5 years and it has been much much harder in my 40's than it was in my 20's.
 
Some really interesting replies on a topic that is quite personal really so cheers for speaking out whether you want kids, have kids or don't give a toss about having kids.

One of the things that has been mentioned is that my relationship is likely to go tits up if she want's kids but I don't, someone even mentioned an example where someone actually ended the relationship so that his other half could go and have kids!! That seems a bit extreme and does not mirror the situation I'm in right here right now. I'm 34 and my wife is 36 in November, we've been together over 10 years and have rarely spoken about having kids and in fact our life together hasn't been lived in a way, had you been planning to have kids. Our jobs are stress free, our financial situation is stress free and we have both really enjoyed our lives over the last 10 years.

Only recently was a serious conversation where she said that she felt that she'd regret at least not trying. I listened and I felt like shit because I couldn't agree with her as I don't see kids enhancing our lives yet she obviously does now.

She has however stressed that it's not a case of her just wanting to be a mother, it's for me & her to raise a family of our own and that if I'm not on board then it's a fact in life that she'd just have to accept. She has also said that she does love her life with it being just us, having the freedom to do what we want, when we want and that if it doesn't happen for us then she wouldn't allow any regret she may have consume our relationship as she knew 10 years ago that kids weren't for me. However no matter what she says, ever since the serious conversation about kids I feel like a right twat as I'm potentially stopping her from having something that could be far more rewarding for her than anything I could offer.

I'm not looking for advice or answers really. Just wondering if anybody else has ever been in a situation similar to this.

All I know is that the prospect of being a father doesn't appeal to me for whatever reason but my wife's happiness is something that does. Yet she has stressed that us breaking up over this isn't something she'd want and it's a life with me that she wants over everything. (This us based on now though, a year, 18 months, 2 years down the line that could be different)
 
RACHACE said:
Some really interesting replies on a topic that is quite personal really so cheers for speaking out whether you want kids, have kids or don't give a toss about having kids.

One of the things that has been mentioned is that my relationship is likely to go tits up if she want's kids but I don't, someone even mentioned an example where someone actually ended the relationship so that his other half could go and have kids!! That seems a bit extreme and does not mirror the situation I'm in right here right now. I'm 34 and my wife is 36 in November, we've been together over 10 years and have rarely spoken about having kids and in fact our life together hasn't been lived in a way, had you been planning to have kids. Our jobs are stress free, our financial situation is stress free and we have both really enjoyed our lives over the last 10 years.

Only recently was a serious conversation where she said that she felt that she'd regret at least not trying. I listened and I felt like shit because I couldn't agree with her as I don't see kids enhancing our lives yet she obviously does now.

She has however stressed that it's not a case of her just wanting to be a mother, it's for me & her to raise a family of our own and that if I'm not on board then it's a fact in life that she'd just have to accept. She has also said that she does love her life with it being just us, having the freedom to do what we want, when we want and that if it doesn't happen for us then she wouldn't allow any regret she may have consume our relationship as she knew 10 years ago that kids weren't for me. However no matter what she says, ever since the serious conversation about kids I feel like a right twat as I'm potentially stopping her from having something that could be far more rewarding for her than anything I could offer.

I'm not looking for advice or answers really. Just wondering if anybody else has ever been in a situation similar to this.

All I know is that the prospect of being a father doesn't appeal to me for whatever reason but my wife's happiness is something that does. Yet she has stressed that us breaking up over this isn't something she'd want and it's a life with me that she wants over everything. (This us based on now though, a year, 18 months, 2 years down the line that could be different)
Click to expand...

Just get shagging and see what happens.
 
This is such a personal decision, as there is no half way house, in that you either get pregnant or not. Either way one of you may come to regret the decision either way. Ask yourself what you love/ value more, your wife with the chance you can try and see what happens, or not to try to keep you status quo, but for how long if ultimately the underlying issue tears you apart. All I can is that in a previous relationship my other half didn't want children and so I went along as I thought the other half was my everything. However, cheated on me and to cut a long story short after time alone I fell in love. Now have two daughters who together with my new other half are really my everything. Realise now the previous was shallow and id have settled for that as I thought at the time that it was great
Now I realise what I could have missed, think long and hard, the future can still be great with children, maybe even better than you think it is now. Love of children is unique, a real joy.
 
RACHACE said:
Some really interesting replies on a topic that is quite personal really so cheers for speaking out whether you want kids, have kids or don't give a toss about having kids.

One of the things that has been mentioned is that my relationship is likely to go tits up if she want's kids but I don't, someone even mentioned an example where someone actually ended the relationship so that his other half could go and have kids!! That seems a bit extreme and does not mirror the situation I'm in right here right now. I'm 34 and my wife is 36 in November, we've been together over 10 years and have rarely spoken about having kids and in fact our life together hasn't been lived in a way, had you been planning to have kids. Our jobs are stress free, our financial situation is stress free and we have both really enjoyed our lives over the last 10 years.

Only recently was a serious conversation where she said that she felt that she'd regret at least not trying. I listened and I felt like shit because I couldn't agree with her as I don't see kids enhancing our lives yet she obviously does now.

She has however stressed that it's not a case of her just wanting to be a mother, it's for me & her to raise a family of our own and that if I'm not on board then it's a fact in life that she'd just have to accept. She has also said that she does love her life with it being just us, having the freedom to do what we want, when we want and that if it doesn't happen for us then she wouldn't allow any regret she may have consume our relationship as she knew 10 years ago that kids weren't for me. However no matter what she says, ever since the serious conversation about kids I feel like a right twat as I'm potentially stopping her from having something that could be far more rewarding for her than anything I could offer.

I'm not looking for advice or answers really. Just wondering if anybody else has ever been in a situation similar to this.

All I know is that the prospect of being a father doesn't appeal to me for whatever reason but my wife's happiness is something that does. Yet she has stressed that us breaking up over this isn't something she'd want and it's a life with me that she wants over everything. (This us based on now though, a year, 18 months, 2 years down the line that could be different)
Click to expand...
Sounds like you have to decide if having kids is a deal breaker or not,if you really don't want them then you have a problem as she is making all the right noises to wanting one,if it helps i know men who have been reluctant dads and don't regret it at all,you love your own child
 
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