Man Utd Jokes

[The Big Irishman]

United have stolen all the headlines again, this time in tonights MEN...................











Season ticket sales slump hit Old Trafford!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeeehah!!

 

[Michael Corleone]

A woman goes to the doctor's begging desperately for help.

She explains that her fanny has started talking. She pulls down her knickers and her fanny whispers, "Man United are the best club and Alex Ferguson is the best manager ever."

The doctor replies, "I'm afraid we're in the middle of an epidemic. Lots of c*nts have started talking like this!"

 

[JoeMercer'sWay]

in a goodwill gesture the Glazers travelled to Abu Dhabi to meet Sheikh Mansour. Now as an unwritten rule the 2 parties are expected to exchange gifts.

The Glazers, as the guests offered their gifts first. They included an official Manchester United shirt, hat, gloves and scarf, a DVD of their "historic" 1999 success and a commemoritive Busby Babes t-shirt. The Sheikh asked "why do you bring me these gifts?", the Glazers replied "well because no tosser will enter our megastore!".

The Sheikh, being a kind and polite gentleman accepted the gifts, before giving them to BP to soak up oil in the gulf of Mexico and burn them.

Then it was the Sheikh's turn to offer gifts in return. He took out a Manchester City piggybank for each Glazer, before kindly depositing 1p into each bank. The Glazers fainted in shock, because they've never seen real money before.

 

[onelife]

utd fans are like empty coke cans in the street. they haven't done anything wrong but everytime you see one.
you get the urge to kick the fucker !