Those columns basically involve a sports hack having a phone conversation with an often bored or drunk ex player and then trying to turn their inarticulate ramblings into something even mildly readable.
I imagine Aldridge’s is a fairly easy one to do. Just press the randomiser on the Scouse Cliche Jukebox - Best in der werld, it’s our year etc - and add a healthy dose of Citeh Bingo
“See you next week Aldo for more of the same”
You can see when the pigeon kicking alcy tries to actually write things himself how badly it goes