It's the lack of context that bewilders me.
If Haaland has two, ten or 200 touches, what does that statistic mean when presented in isolation?
What's the average amount of touches for a no.9?
Is there sone gold standard touches to goals ratio that we don't know about?
Or a minimum amount of touches he should be aiming for? Some target that means he's had a good game (presumably, even if he doesn't score)?
Of course there isn't because none of these things apply in the real world. The number of times a player touches the ball is only one component of their performance. Theoretically, a forward could never touch the ball in a game but have made the runs that created spaces for ten goals.
So why go out of the way to focus on the number of touches? And why only for Haaland? How come he is the only forward ever whose success is to be measured in touches rather than goals?
I could maybe understand as part of a wider analysis, if he wasn't playong well or wasn't scoring but using a random statistic as a backhanded insinuation that he's not playing well - when the kid is actually on fire - is a new low.