The Mancunian Way said:Am i the only one who finds this sad? Spitting in shoes, stealing coats, being abusive. Ok, on the the pitch I hate them all but you guys seem to take this a little far.
Now wonder they call us bitters!
one stop said:Another on Andy Cole when playing for United, he was in Cyprus during 1996 Euro's. Gave him the Andy Cole, gets the ball and does f*ck all chant which he didnt like. A couple of days later got someone to take a picture of me, my mate and Cole. Both did the old wan*er sign above his head. the picture is a classic, it was printed in City's Magazine.
this is fuckin brilliant.should make it into a filmMCFC1986 said:RIGHT!
One morning I woke up next to Roy Keane in bed, bummed him to death.
Got up, went to Fergie's and shot the red faced **** in the bollocks.
Drove to Old Trafford, ran over Gary Neville's kids on the way.
Got there painted Matt Busby blue and burned the shithole down.
Seen Cantona and karate kicked him within an ince of his life
then seen Gary Neville, chopped him in half and danced on his grave singing Blue Moon............
And if you try and tell kids this nowadays.....They won't believe you!!!
Pigeonho said:In 1999 after the dickheads won their poncy final in Barca, they were all in Mulligans a couple of days after. The entire squad was there, the twats. I was enjoying an nice afternoon too with 2 stunning twins until they turned up. Anyway I went for a piss and as I was finishing, Pete Schmeichel walked in to use the pissers too. I'm bigger than Schmeichel and I think it took him back a bit, to the point where I held out my hand which had just been used to hold my dick and said, 'well done Pete'. He shook my piss stained hand with a look of 'what the fuck' on his face and as I walked out I sniggered loud enough so he would know I had done something stupid! I was tucked in the corner away from the squad but one of the twins said he came out looking pissed right off! Felt a bit bas when he signed for us!!
JohnMaddocksAxe said:Back when Tommy Doc was their manager I was working in Jimmy Saville's club when Lou Macari came in. I said "Oi, Lou, why aren't you serving in the chippy".
He wasn't happy.
Anyway, when he left his coat in the locker room I went over, told them I had been told to get it for him and take it to him and took it out the back.
The night before I had had toad in the hole for tea and had awful constipation. I dropped my pants and with al the might I could muster, desposited a log in his coat pocket.
When he came back a few hours later he was fuming, you should have seen his face. He started shouting 'Someone has had a shit in my coat pocket. I've been had over again by those damn City fans'.
Anyway, I wasn't there to witness this as the effort I had to muster to overcome the constipation was so much that I had ruptured my anal passage. I got a mate to take the coat back to the cloak room but I was writhing in agony on the floor and an ambulance had to be called. Two hours later I was having life saving surgery. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the following day and two coppers were waiting to arrest me. They had put two and two together and had me bang to rights for shitting in a coat.
I got five years, served three, lost my job and family and haven't seen any of my children in 30 years. Oh, and I have a plastic bag attached to my waist at all times now.
Still, got one over on that Rag Macari though, eh.
copie said:JohnMaddocksAxe said:Back when Tommy Doc was their manager I was working in Jimmy Saville's club when Lou Macari came in. I said "Oi, Lou, why aren't you serving in the chippy".
He wasn't happy.
Anyway, when he left his coat in the locker room I went over, told them I had been told to get it for him and take it to him and took it out the back.
The night before I had had toad in the hole for tea and had awful constipation. I dropped my pants and with al the might I could muster, desposited a log in his coat pocket.
When he came back a few hours later he was fuming, you should have seen his face. He started shouting 'Someone has had a shit in my coat pocket. I've been had over again by those damn City fans'.
Anyway, I wasn't there to witness this as the effort I had to muster to overcome the constipation was so much that I had ruptured my anal passage. I got a mate to take the coat back to the cloak room but I was writhing in agony on the floor and an ambulance had to be called. Two hours later I was having life saving surgery. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the following day and two coppers were waiting to arrest me. They had put two and two together and had me bang to rights for shitting in a coat.
I got five years, served three, lost my job and family and haven't seen any of my children in 30 years. Oh, and I have a plastic bag attached to my waist at all times now.
Still, got one over on that Rag Macari though, eh.
excellent mate
Blue Punter said:Afternoon of New years Eve 2004 and I'm at the cashpoint in St Annes Sq. Two women in front of me are taking an eternity. To compound matters, the bloke directly behind me is largeing it to his mates. I vaguely recognise the voice, turn round and see it's Gary Nev. The women are still at it, checking balances, printing out mini statements. GN is telling these young lads he's been invited to a NYE party in Bury, where there's loads of fit birds and champagne. Gotta be careful, training next day etc.
As I'm getting my dough, I notice one of his pals has walked away to take a call on his mobile. His other mate follows me into the hole in the wall. I walks past GN and offers my hand. "All the best for 2005 Gary?"
Concious of the dirty look I gave him earlier, he refuses.
"C'mon Gary, it's NYE".
I extend my hand out further and he shakes it.
"Gary , I'd just like to say you had a blinder..."
He had a really smug grin on his face.
"Cheers mate, for England in Turkey?"
"No, the last derby at Maine Road".
I squeezed his hand and walked off laughing. Next thing I'm walking away and he's chasing after me bleating:
"We still won the league though"
I just carried on walking and without looking at him, dismissively gave him the finger.
We played 'em 2 months later in the FA Cup and he got sent off. My mates said it was down to me.