Meeting Rag Players & ******* Them Off!

[Nottingham Blue]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

Back when Tommy Doc was their manager I was working in Jimmy Saville's club when Lou Macari came in. I said "Oi, Lou, why aren't you serving in the chippy".

He wasn't happy.

Anyway, when he left his coat in the locker room I went over, told them I had been told to get it for him and take it to him and took it out the back.

The night before I had had toad in the hole for tea and had awful constipation. I dropped my pants and with al the might I could muster, desposited a log in his coat pocket.

When he came back a few hours later he was fuming, you should have seen his face. He started shouting 'Someone has had a shit in my coat pocket. I've been had over again by those damn City fans'.

Anyway, I wasn't there to witness this as the effort I had to muster to overcome the constipation was so much that I had ruptured my anal passage. I got a mate to take the coat back to the cloak room but I was writhing in agony on the floor and an ambulance had to be called. Two hours later I was having life saving surgery. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the following day and two coppers were waiting to arrest me. They had put two and two together and had me bang to rights for shitting in a coat.

I got five years, served three, lost my job and family and haven't seen any of my children in 30 years. Oh, and I have a plastic bag attached to my waist at all times now.

Still, got one over on that Rag Macari though, eh.

that has got to be one of the funniest "stories" of all time - or maybe i've just been up all night!

 

[city_boy_lee]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

Back when Tommy Doc was their manager I was working in Jimmy Saville's club when Lou Macari came in. I said "Oi, Lou, why aren't you serving in the chippy".

He wasn't happy.

Anyway, when he left his coat in the locker room I went over, told them I had been told to get it for him and take it to him and took it out the back.

The night before I had had toad in the hole for tea and had awful constipation. I dropped my pants and with al the might I could muster, desposited a log in his coat pocket.

When he came back a few hours later he was fuming, you should have seen his face. He started shouting 'Someone has had a shit in my coat pocket. I've been had over again by those damn City fans'.

Anyway, I wasn't there to witness this as the effort I had to muster to overcome the constipation was so much that I had ruptured my anal passage. I got a mate to take the coat back to the cloak room but I was writhing in agony on the floor and an ambulance had to be called. Two hours later I was having life saving surgery. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the following day and two coppers were waiting to arrest me. They had put two and two together and had me bang to rights for shitting in a coat.

I got five years, served three, lost my job and family and haven't seen any of my children in 30 years. Oh, and I have a plastic bag attached to my waist at all times now.

Still, got one over on that Rag Macari though, eh.

that has got to be one of the funniest "stories" of all time - or maybe i've just been up all night!

It gave me a good laugh.

 

[Bucharest Blue]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

Went to the Ashes at Old Trafford, about 4 years ago or so. About 25 of us there, managed to get some tickets for that temporary stand, next to the members. Anyways, after we'd been on it since 9:30am out the back on a beer called Hell! we were all sat down having a laugh like you, then we saw old taggart and gary neville sat above us to the right in the members box area. After a bit of shouting and abuse at the dirty rag tw*t we managed to get half the stadium doing the Adams family tune at top of their voices and using their feet. I know at least 75% of the people there didnt have a clue why we were singing it, they must have thought it was some kind of cricket thing? But after 10 non stop minutes of this with all us laughing at him old neville finally lost his rag and started mouthing it off at us and crying to stewards to get us thrown out! his face went more red than fergie's. To be fair to old taggart he just laughed and pushed neville inside the box, which he never came out of again.

Was just excellent to see him finally loose it when we were all only having a laugh, at him!

 

[Manchester Bleu]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

A mate of mine (city fan) was at the airport with another mate (rag) and saw keane, obviously the rag went over to have a chat so my other mate (city fan) went along.

Rag fan says - "hi roy, what you doing here"

keane - " just hanging around, my plane is late"

City fan - "bit like one of your f*cking tackles then"

Apparently keane didn`t know what to do with himself.

 

[blueboy84]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

mines also about that inbred twat,was in a pub in bury a few years back think it was a sunday night.neville was playing the big i am buying anyone and everyone a drink. anyway
later on in the night he was going back to the bar but he had to go down a couple of steps
to get there.me being me i stuck my foot out and watched and laughed as his little goatee
slid along the carpet.he wanted to kick my head in but his mates pulled him outside,so victory
to the blue.

 

[masterwig]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

Back when Tommy Doc was their manager I was working in Jimmy Saville's club when Lou Macari came in. I said "Oi, Lou, why aren't you serving in the chippy".

He wasn't happy.

Anyway, when he left his coat in the locker room I went over, told them I had been told to get it for him and take it to him and took it out the back.

The night before I had had toad in the hole for tea and had awful constipation. I dropped my pants and with al the might I could muster, desposited a log in his coat pocket.

When he came back a few hours later he was fuming, you should have seen his face. He started shouting 'Someone has had a shit in my coat pocket. I've been had over again by those damn City fans'.

Anyway, I wasn't there to witness this as the effort I had to muster to overcome the constipation was so much that I had ruptured my anal passage. I got a mate to take the coat back to the cloak room but I was writhing in agony on the floor and an ambulance had to be called. Two hours later I was having life saving surgery. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the following day and two coppers were waiting to arrest me. They had put two and two together and had me bang to rights for shitting in a coat.

I got five years, served three, lost my job and family and haven't seen any of my children in 30 years. Oh, and I have a plastic bag attached to my waist at all times now.

Still, got one over on that Rag Macari though, eh.

Haha. That's one of the funniest things I've read on here.

 

[scall11]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

I'm just loving some of these stories!

 

[daveyboybluemoon]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

It appears my Andy Cole story hasn't sat well with a few people....I suppose in hindsight might not of been the best way to piss him off and prehaps it was a bit low, but as a 17 year old lad at the time working with a red scouse whom both shared the same hatred for the rags it was a spur of the moment thing....probably one of the reasons why i could never take to "Andrew" while he was in a blue shirt.

 

[c1tyfan]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

A far few years ago I went to an Eminem concert at the MEN with my Dad and sister. About 10 minutes into the concert there was a big fuss around our block so we turned round and Beckham and Posh were there in a private box....

Well, seen as i'd had a fair few beers by then, the blue mist descended and and under the lights it appeared that Beckham was wearing a Parka with a pink hood. Of course me and my dad then let rip with a chorus of Blue moon and various other city songs. He noticed this then called me up to his box to see what our problem was where I let rip with another tirade of anti ragness. When I turned around to go back to my seat my Dad was being dragged out by 4 security guards. Within 10 minutes he was allowed back in as the Beckhams had left the concert in disgust.

Quality night. We even got a mention in one of those pop magazines.

 

[Jnr Kisby]

Re: Meeting Rag Players & Pissing Them Off!

Back when Tommy Doc was their manager I was working in Jimmy Saville's club when Lou Macari came in. I said "Oi, Lou, why aren't you serving in the chippy".

He wasn't happy.

Anyway, when he left his coat in the locker room I went over, told them I had been told to get it for him and take it to him and took it out the back.

The night before I had had toad in the hole for tea and had awful constipation. I dropped my pants and with al the might I could muster, desposited a log in his coat pocket.

When he came back a few hours later he was fuming, you should have seen his face. He started shouting 'Someone has had a shit in my coat pocket. I've been had over again by those damn City fans'.

Anyway, I wasn't there to witness this as the effort I had to muster to overcome the constipation was so much that I had ruptured my anal passage. I got a mate to take the coat back to the cloak room but I was writhing in agony on the floor and an ambulance had to be called. Two hours later I was having life saving surgery. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the following day and two coppers were waiting to arrest me. They had put two and two together and had me bang to rights for shitting in a coat.

I got five years, served three, lost my job and family and haven't seen any of my children in 30 years. Oh, and I have a plastic bag attached to my waist at all times now.

Still, got one over on that Rag Macari though, eh.

This is either a very deranged story or complete bullshit.