StrangewaysHereWeCome
Well-Known Member
I'd have sat straight back down,baby in arms and stared intently at the mental sow whilst making "NNNNNNNNN" noises and filling the air with a foul stenchsouthstand117 said:
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Most ridiculous doom you got into with the Mrs
- Thread starter El Boy Wonder
- Start date
El Boy Wonder said:Women are mental, the lot of them
Gets to bed time last night, Mrs gets in first and i pop off for a shite and to brush my teeth etc etc.....
Anyway, i come in the room and see she is fast alseep, "bless" i think to myself. So i creep into bed and gently knock the light off, then i hear those 5 words that send fear down my spine
Her: What's the matter with you?
Me: What?
Her: You're in a funny mood
Me: What?
Her: Why didnt you say night night?
Me: You were asleep
Her: I wasnt
Me: You had your eyes closed and were clearly asleep
Her: You still could have said night
Me: *speechless*
Her: *goes in spare room*
Me: *speechless*
5 mins elapses
Me: *wanks about ex*
:o
Genuinely bat shit mental. So despite her being asleep im supposed to wake her up to wish her goodnight, because i could see that going down like the frigging titanic. She's still not talking to me. Crazy
That is seriously funny. hahaha
johnny on the spot
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 19 Jul 2006
- Messages
- 24,748
'Bat shit mental', love it.
Sums up precisely what happened when I was recently tasked with our weekly shop. My wife prides herself on being able to feed us both and the odd weekly visiting relative for just over twenty quid every Friday.
I spanked around £45 easy, in half the time it normally takes her. Even gave the quid out of my trolley to this crazy old chap on the way home for his cider, and got us both poppies and lifeboat stickers.
Sums up precisely what happened when I was recently tasked with our weekly shop. My wife prides herself on being able to feed us both and the odd weekly visiting relative for just over twenty quid every Friday.
I spanked around £45 easy, in half the time it normally takes her. Even gave the quid out of my trolley to this crazy old chap on the way home for his cider, and got us both poppies and lifeboat stickers.
robbie brewer
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 27 May 2009
- Messages
- 339
Her: If you were a gentleman you wouldn't make me do this.
Me: If you were a lady you wouldn't speak with your mouth full.
Silence.
Me: If you were a lady you wouldn't speak with your mouth full.
Silence.
Swales lives
Well-Known Member
My missus who I've been with for 16 years, said to me the other week,
"You upset me when you called me Helen, do you remember?" (my ex's name, before I started seeing the wife).
Me: No.
Wife: You do, it was in the Red King.
Me: The Red fucking King, it's been closed for 15 years!
Wife: You do remember then.
Unbe-fuckin-lievable!!!!
"You upset me when you called me Helen, do you remember?" (my ex's name, before I started seeing the wife).
Me: No.
Wife: You do, it was in the Red King.
Me: The Red fucking King, it's been closed for 15 years!
Wife: You do remember then.
Unbe-fuckin-lievable!!!!
der-bomber
Well-Known Member
l was married for twenty years , stressed out, frustrated and miserable, walking on eggshells all the time, but hanging in there for my 2 boys...
l have been single for the last few years and loved every second, the freedom...
Now l see my lads when l want and just do the good stuff, have road trips, holidays, City and adventures...
l pity you sad, hen-pecked fuckers....
l have been single for the last few years and loved every second, the freedom...
Now l see my lads when l want and just do the good stuff, have road trips, holidays, City and adventures...
l pity you sad, hen-pecked fuckers....
TheMightyQuinn
Well-Known Member
I'd love to list all my girlfriends grievances with me here but it'd make me look like more pathetic than you could think possible.
My ex was much worse though. She used to encourage me to smoke then she'd use the opportunity to talk me into things, assassinate my character or be weird.
I'm going gay for my next relationship.
My ex was much worse though. She used to encourage me to smoke then she'd use the opportunity to talk me into things, assassinate my character or be weird.
I'm going gay for my next relationship.
Forzacitizens
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 2 Jan 2009
- Messages
- 5,126
i just dont understand women full stop
Kenney_The_Blue
Well-Known Member
just hope she doesnt come on here lol
brass neck
Well-Known Member
At a wedding the other day..
her..come up and dance
me.. you know i cant dance, male dancing is strictly the reserve of homosexuals and African Americans
her...come on, come and have some fun for a change
me.... i dont think this is a great idea
her.. come on, whats the worse that can happen
OK ill have a do, get up lurch around a bit, injure a few 8 year olds, give a couple of grannies whiplash
her...................
me ...are you OK, you seem a bit distant
her....
me....is there something up
her...
me...are you not talking to me...
her...
next day
me....morning
her....
me.... come on this is ridiculous
her...
etc etc etc...
I TRIED TO TELL HER....
women, head full of rags and straw, the lot of them!!!
her..come up and dance
me.. you know i cant dance, male dancing is strictly the reserve of homosexuals and African Americans
her...come on, come and have some fun for a change
me.... i dont think this is a great idea
her.. come on, whats the worse that can happen
OK ill have a do, get up lurch around a bit, injure a few 8 year olds, give a couple of grannies whiplash
her...................
me ...are you OK, you seem a bit distant
her....
me....is there something up
her...
me...are you not talking to me...
her...
next day
me....morning
her....
me.... come on this is ridiculous
her...
etc etc etc...
I TRIED TO TELL HER....
women, head full of rags and straw, the lot of them!!!