School teacher's nicknames

Chromedome - the Headmaster, Mr Hopkinson (a latter day Jean Luc Picard)
Piggy - Mrs Higginbottom, Domestic Science - a rather large lady
Screwy - Mr Driver, History
Yogi - Mr Eyre, French - Yogi Bear = Mr Eyre. Also known as Sam, as in Sa Mere
Fritz - surprisingly, the German teacher
Robbie - Mr Burns, English teacher. Obnoxious bastard
Jock - Mr Stuart, the PE teacher. Played for Kilmarnock in the 1850s
T Bone - Mr Walker, Physics. Always used a slide rule (remember them?) Once proved that 4/2=2.1 with it!
"Ted" Pratt - Maths. Best teacher I ever had.
 
Father Bason was Daddy Dish, but it had fallen out of use somewhat, mainly because he would go fucking ballistic if he heard you.

Mr Host-Madsen, a very tall, placid American RE teacher, was Mr Stiff.

Mr Moore, a miserable geography teacher, was Magic Moore due to his resemblance to Paul Daniels.

The horrible short-arsed woman of biology, Mrs O'Hara, was Ski-Jump due to the shape of her nose.

Chemistry teacher, Mr Barnes was the Dungeon Master due to his likeness with the cartoon character.

We had a biology lab technician called Mrs Kinsey. She was very short and had gerbil-like features - she was known as Lab Rat. She was on telly a few years ago, on one of those programs about people who live in filthy houses; I can't have seen that doing her any favours at school.

There was an extremely camp physics lab technician called Mr Gelsthorpe; we used to call him Kinky Neville. The science and technology classrooms were in a separate block. When we had design and technology lessons, we had to wait outside until the teacher called their class in. As half the year group had DT at the same time, there would be a lot of us grouped together. After a while, somebody would lead the chanting of 'Kinky Neville' until he went mad and came out to shout at us.

We had a geography teacher called Mr Shanker (no prizes for guessing his nickname). In the first year, we had a Christmas poetry competition. There was an Indian lad called Sandip, who I think had quite a strict upbringing and was probably a little bit green. We were sat in our English class, when suddenly there was a roar of laughter from next door. This was followed by a few more and then our door opened. Mr Sweetman (now no longer teaching due to sending inappropriate text messages to sixth form girls) walked in, followed by Sandip.

Mr Sweatyman (so-called due to the sweat marks under the fat fucker's armpits) asked Sandip to read:

God bless Miss Hughes,
She's been on the booze,

God bless Mr Moore,
He's a bit of a bore,

God bless Mr Shanker,
He's a bit of a wanker...

At this point we erupted and he was taken to the next English classroom. The poor little fucker had no idea why all this was happening until Sweatyman sat him down and asked him if he knew what that word meant. He genuinely had no idea, and said he had just heard other kids saying it. Sweatyman forgave the profanity, and explained why it was best to drop that line from the peom. Sweatyman thought Shanker would see the funny side and repeated it in the staff room; unfortunately for Sandip, he didn't.
 
Mr Greaves - Bulldog - he looked exactly like one
Mr Carr - Billy Barr - sheep shagger
Mrs Rourke - Superwoman - looked like Teri Hatcher
Mrs Gibbons - Mrs Gibbon - arms as hairy as fuck
Mr Marsden - Skunk or Toon Army - black and white striped hair
Mrs Cooke - that big titted, blonde haired, sex piece that I'm sure wants to have a go with my rebelcock - self explanatory.
 
Mustard Dave said:
Father Bason was Daddy Dish, but it had fallen out of use somewhat, mainly because he would go fucking ballistic if he heard you.

Mr Host-Madsen, a very tall, placid American RE teacher, was Mr Stiff.

Mr Moore, a miserable geography teacher, was Magic Moore due to his resemblance to Paul Daniels.

The horrible short-arsed woman of biology, Mrs O'Hara, was Ski-Jump due to the shape of her nose.

Chemistry teacher, Mr Barnes was the Dungeon Master due to his likeness with the cartoon character.

We had a biology lab technician called Mrs Kinsey. She was very short and had gerbil-like features - she was known as Lab Rat. She was on telly a few years ago, on one of those programs about people who live in filthy houses; I can't have seen that doing her any favours at school.

There was an extremely camp physics lab technician called Mr Gelsthorpe; we used to call him Kinky Neville. The science and technology classrooms were in a separate block. When we had design and technology lessons, we had to wait outside until the teacher called their class in. As half the year group had DT at the same time, there would be a lot of us grouped together. After a while, somebody would lead the chanting of 'Kinky Neville' until he went mad and came out to shout at us.

We had a geography teacher called Mr Shanker (no prizes for guessing his nickname). In the first year, we had a Christmas poetry competition. There was an Indian lad called Sandip, who I think had quite a strict upbringing and was probably a little bit green. We were sat in our English class, when suddenly there was a roar of laughter from next door. This was followed by a few more and then our door opened. Mr Sweetman (now no longer teaching due to sending inappropriate text messages to sixth form girls) walked in, followed by Sandip.

Mr Sweatyman (so-called due to the sweat marks under the fat fucker's armpits) asked Sandip to read:

God bless Miss Hughes,
She's been on the booze,

God bless Mr Moore,
He's a bit of a bore,

God bless Mr Shanker,
He's a bit of a wanker...

At this point we erupted and he was taken to the next English classroom. The poor little fucker had no idea why all this was happening until Sweatyman sat him down and asked him if he knew what that word meant. He genuinely had no idea, and said he had just heard other kids saying it. Sweatyman forgave the profanity, and explained why it was best to drop that line from the peom. Sweatyman thought Shanker would see the funny side and repeated it in the staff room; unfortunately for Sandip, he didn't.
Click to expand...
Audenshaw high school, O’Hara had been a teacher there for over 25 years when I started in 1989. But if you were on the rugby team you were one on Bason’s boys and were untouchable... If ever I needed an excuse to get in trouble. He would take you into his office and sit you down for a chat with a Kit Kat and a cup of tea, top bloke.
 
Lurch
Mickey Finn
The Pisshead
Sex in boots
The God-botherer
Ducky
Stretch Armstrong
Tache
Monotone Mike
 
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