Stupid little things that bug you

I got a bread knife from amazon so i had to give the guy my first name and date of birth , clearly i am an old **** who is going to use it to cut bread but i could be thinking of stabbing next doors dog , therefore giving my date of birth proves nothing really
Yesterday, I bought a small garden fork and trowel from my local B&M. The cashier had to call for a store supervisor to authorise the purchase.
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Today, I painted the front gate. When finished, I cleaned the brushes and put everything away, then realised I's missed a bit off the top rail (the part where I'd be holding the gate). Had to go through all the clean up business again. Should probably have junked the brush!
 
People who tell you they are going for a shit. Npt going toilet or for a number two, but no, I am going for a shit. My arse feels like it will explode. I am touching cloth... FFs keep it to your self. I just want to eat my sausage roll
 
The other night after the Crystal Palace game the guy in the studio said something like Palace beat United under the lights at Selhurst Park, why do they always have to say under the lights, it’s dark we know it’s under the lights.
All games in the top seven or eight divisions are played under lights. They just aren't always turned on.
 

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