The annual how to get rid of trick or treaters thread

Many years ago before the whole trick or treat / Halloween thing got so commercial, I had some trick or treaters come round to my house. They were at least 18/19 years old. I'd had a particularly bad day at work so wasn't in the mood. Anyway, my response of 'Oh just fuck off!' and slamming the door in their faces didn't go down too well with them because the next time I opened the door I noticed that they had written 'You miserable cnut'! on it.

I always have a big bowl of sweets next to the front door now on Halloween!!
 
They can fuck off with all this commercialised Yank shit. What's better than Bonny night when you can dress a rag filled dummy up as a would be regicide and demand cash from the passing populace in the street?
Plus, you get to overfill your bellies on Parkin and toffee apples, whilst your face is being scorched off in front of a conflagration like the Dresden firestorm, and get to see the school bully get his fingers blown off when being too late lobbing his banger at the nearest pram pushing young mother.
Fuckin' proper entertainment, that, not this namby pamby trick or treat shite.
 
Ancient Citizen said:
They can fuck off with all this commercialised Yank shit. What's better than Bonny night when you can dress a rag filled dummy up as a would be regicide and demand cash from the passing populace in the street?
Plus, you get to overfill your bellies on Parkin and toffee apples, whilst your face is being scorched off in front of a conflagration like the Dresden firestorm, and get to see the school bully get his fingers blown off when being too late lobbing his banger at the nearest pram pushing young mother.
Fuckin' proper entertainment, that, not this namby pamby trick or treat shite.
Click to expand...
This!! Life as it should be.
 
Ancient Citizen said:
They can fuck off with all this commercialised Yank shit. What's better than Bonny night when you can dress a rag filled dummy up as a would be regicide and demand cash from the passing populace in the street?
Plus, you get to overfill your bellies on Parkin and toffee apples, whilst your face is being scorched off in front of a conflagration like the Dresden firestorm, and get to see the school bully get his fingers blown off when being too late lobbing his banger at the nearest pram pushing young mother.
Fuckin' proper entertainment, that, not this namby pamby trick or treat shite.
Click to expand...

air bombs flying out of scaffolding poles like mortar bombs
 
mancityvstoke said:
Ancient Citizen said:
They can fuck off with all this commercialised Yank shit. What's better than Bonny night when you can dress a rag filled dummy up as a would be regicide and demand cash from the passing populace in the street?
Plus, you get to overfill your bellies on Parkin and toffee apples, whilst your face is being scorched off in front of a conflagration like the Dresden firestorm, and get to see the school bully get his fingers blown off when being too late lobbing his banger at the nearest pram pushing young mother.
Fuckin' proper entertainment, that, not this namby pamby trick or treat shite.
Click to expand...

air bombs flying out of scaffolding poles like mortar bombs
Click to expand...
Plus the exciting and incredibly daring lodging of a Standard Fireworks super banger into a goodly pile of freshy laid Alsation dog shit, directly onto the front step of a particularly curmudgeonly neighbour, and knocking on then watching said unfortunate clutch his chest in cardiac distress. as an explosion like Hiroshima deposits upon him the filthy ordure.
Happy days, bollox to this faux dressing up like some obese Dracula and mithering every ****, get some real 'culcher.'
 
Leave an empty sweet tin outside with a sign in

"HELP YOURSELF TO SWEETS"

They'll see that and turn around
 
flyer said:
Somebody on here years ago said him and his missus ate a full box of Ferro Rocher (sp) but kept the wrappers. They put boiled sprouts in the wrappers and gave them to the kids at the door.
Click to expand...
That would have been myself, thought it was more for Christmas parties etc than Halloween. Though I have just had my first dog trick or treater, had to tell the child to make sure to share her chocolate with the mutg, hope it sleeps in the kitchen
 
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