jimharri
Moderator
I know it's easy for me to say it, but keep your chin up fella. Even if only for your daughter's sake. Hopefully the new year will bring an upturn for you.
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The "let's talk" thread
- Thread starter Bill
- Start date
Thank you for that, we're the apple of each others eyeFeel for you.
Right now you need to be the dad of all dads. Your daughter will be buzzing to see you. Nobody can take your place in her eyes,and never will.
Thank you mate, new decade, new startI know it's easy for me to say it, but keep your chin up fella. Even if only for your daughter's sake. Hopefully the new year will bring an upturn for you.
inchy14
Well-Known Member
Absolute **** of a day today. Me and the Mrs split up in September, first Christmas apart. Been up to see them for an hour this morning, daughter coming to me this afternoon. Mrs off to spend the evening with her new fella. And I still fucking love her. Fuck it all.
Have a good one mate, similar to me, first one not with her after 27 years, new missus had arrangements already and I didn’t want her to change on my behalf so saw her Last night/this morning then been to see my son, didn’t go in as the ex is a nightmare so was only for a few minutes, been to my parents and now back at my flat, just finished my vegetarian nut roast I made myself with all the veg trimmings and now watching shite for the rest of the day.
Also avoiding the booze as I’ll only get depressed about the whole shitshow, just glad my lads ok and having a good day albeit with her and her relatives.
Agreed about the booze mate, there's other times to enjoy that with mates, but not today.Have a good one mate, similar to me, first one not with her after 27 years, new missus had arrangements already and I didn’t want her to change on my behalf so saw her Last night/this morning then been to see my son, didn’t go in as the ex is a nightmare so was only for a few minutes, been to my parents and now back at my flat, just finished my vegetarian nut roast I made myself with all the veg trimmings and now watching shite for the rest of the day.
Also avoiding the booze as I’ll only get depressed about the whole shitshow, just glad my lads ok and having a good day albeit with her and her relatives.
Take not easy pal, smash Netflix tonight if you can x
kaz7
Well-Known Member
About 8yrs ago in the nov i lost my best mate,i cancelled everything,told everyone to fuck off and leave me alone,i got in loads of junk food,watched footy,cried a lot,but i found i liked it,not the crying bit,i wouldn't have it any different now
This morning i have taken a load of goodies up to the local sanctuary where i got silva from,spent a couple of hours playing with kittens and helping out,there are homeless charities and hospices etc,you could volunteer and really make someones day,if you find yourself alone and you don't want to be then you can still find yourself with people just not in the way you thought you would,it might just start off a new tradition
Love to everyone today x
This morning i have taken a load of goodies up to the local sanctuary where i got silva from,spent a couple of hours playing with kittens and helping out,there are homeless charities and hospices etc,you could volunteer and really make someones day,if you find yourself alone and you don't want to be then you can still find yourself with people just not in the way you thought you would,it might just start off a new tradition
Love to everyone today x
Bill
Well-Known Member
Time is your friend. Things will ease. They always do.This time of year is so so fucking hard.
Even when I'm prepared for it and have enough distractions to not think about it much the same old feelings return.
In a nutshell. Failure.
I got through the day. It's taken me all morning and some of the afternoon to get going, but I'll get through today too. That's all we can do.This time of year is so so fucking hard.
Even when I'm prepared for it and have enough distractions to not think about it much the same old feelings return.
In a nutshell. Failure.
Bill
Well-Known Member
Good man. Be proud of yourself ,you've earned it.I got through the day. It's taken me all morning and some of the afternoon to get going, but I'll get through today too. That's all we can do.
SilverFox2
Well-Known Member
I remember getting my Plantar F. by walking on the black sand pavements in Lanzerote in just a pair of old pumps. Stupid really but it unfortunately halted my normal running exercising for approx a year.It's something I really want to get on and do, but as I said, every time I've tried it lately, my plantar fasciitis and/or gout flares up, trust me, it feels like walking on molten metal.
For me it took that long for the ligaments under my heel / sole to repair. Frustrating, but eventually it repaired itself.
peoffrey
Well-Known Member
So how has 2019 been for you?
I had to unexpectedly return to London in April 2018 for personal / family reasons (I had a ten year stint here before moving up to Manchester) and have managed to get through it unscathed since. I’m still employed by a large worldwide horticultural charity and legitimately enjoying it. My department are all good people and the organisation is doing well. The circumstances that brought me here are now over and I’m free to move on. Once the family owned home is sold then I’m off for a new adventure. I think South Wales.
I travel a lot now and have been to Malaga, Düsseldorf, Budapest, Bratislava, Istanbul, Baku and Berlin this year. I think that’s it but am not 100% confident that’s all of them. I might have missed somewhere out... I took something out of each place with Budapest and Bratislava being my favourites. Azerbaijan v Wales saw my home country in pole position for Euro 2020 qualification. I’ll be in Rome next summer for the Italy match.
I’ve sadly lost two friends this year in a regular in my East End local and also one in my Manchester one. The latter was a Blue in Dave “Monkey” Mills who you’d find in The Grove Inn in Clayton. One or two of you may have known him. As I get older then this is happening more and more. People of my own generation too. So desperately sad.
I’m 40 in two weeks which is quite something! Off to Düsseldorf for a long weekend to celebrate. Still single, no kids, body and mind intact. It’s been a calmer year but 2020 should be fun. An adventure.
Share your stories.
I had to unexpectedly return to London in April 2018 for personal / family reasons (I had a ten year stint here before moving up to Manchester) and have managed to get through it unscathed since. I’m still employed by a large worldwide horticultural charity and legitimately enjoying it. My department are all good people and the organisation is doing well. The circumstances that brought me here are now over and I’m free to move on. Once the family owned home is sold then I’m off for a new adventure. I think South Wales.
I travel a lot now and have been to Malaga, Düsseldorf, Budapest, Bratislava, Istanbul, Baku and Berlin this year. I think that’s it but am not 100% confident that’s all of them. I might have missed somewhere out... I took something out of each place with Budapest and Bratislava being my favourites. Azerbaijan v Wales saw my home country in pole position for Euro 2020 qualification. I’ll be in Rome next summer for the Italy match.
I’ve sadly lost two friends this year in a regular in my East End local and also one in my Manchester one. The latter was a Blue in Dave “Monkey” Mills who you’d find in The Grove Inn in Clayton. One or two of you may have known him. As I get older then this is happening more and more. People of my own generation too. So desperately sad.
I’m 40 in two weeks which is quite something! Off to Düsseldorf for a long weekend to celebrate. Still single, no kids, body and mind intact. It’s been a calmer year but 2020 should be fun. An adventure.
Share your stories.
Nebuchadnezzar
Well-Known Member
A year of discovery and learning, really.
My tolerance for those other than my family, missus and close friends has dropped dramatically.
I'm fairly happy with that though. I got screwed over by someone I thought was my friend, in some ways he was a mentor and I admit I looked up to him. He turned out to not be a very nice man unfortunately. I don't judge him for what he did, but rather that he almost cost me my livelihood for his own gain and I found that hard to let go of. He knows i'm patient and have a long memory :)
No idea how this next stage of fertility treatment will turn out, its a fucking lottery!! I do possess good overall health and i'm happy for that. A year of change is ahead, i'm finally able to drive and look forward to seeing what doors this will open (including the car door).
My tolerance for those other than my family, missus and close friends has dropped dramatically.
I'm fairly happy with that though. I got screwed over by someone I thought was my friend, in some ways he was a mentor and I admit I looked up to him. He turned out to not be a very nice man unfortunately. I don't judge him for what he did, but rather that he almost cost me my livelihood for his own gain and I found that hard to let go of. He knows i'm patient and have a long memory :)
No idea how this next stage of fertility treatment will turn out, its a fucking lottery!! I do possess good overall health and i'm happy for that. A year of change is ahead, i'm finally able to drive and look forward to seeing what doors this will open (including the car door).
peoffrey
Well-Known Member
I shared a tube carriage with a lad I’d stood next to at football for years recently. Away matches, nights out etc. We didn’t even let on to each other such is the mutual dislike now. I’d had to stump money up for him, organise everything and also get involved when he started on rival fans. Dragging him away...
He went from being someone I trusted like a brother to a near enemy. The change in him when he got involved with a girl who didn’t like me!
He went from being someone I trusted like a brother to a near enemy. The change in him when he got involved with a girl who didn’t like me!
Big Swifty
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 8 Nov 2011
- Messages
- 4,484
Got cards from two old friends who both told me they were being treated for cancer.
Bloody hell. Really upset me.
Bloody hell. Really upset me.
peoffrey
Well-Known Member
Got cards from two old friends who both told me they were being treated for cancer.
Bloody hell. Really upset me.
Sorry to hear that. With early diagnosis and a bit of luck then there’s no reason why they can’t pull through. Fingers crossed.
StrangewaysHereWeCome
Well-Known Member
I packed the booze in three springs ago. A total clean break, Unfortunately I then replaced that addiction by upping my consumption of cocaine. Not even sociably either.. stupid really, the amount of money spent and the cost to my health..
Then April last year I packed a few things and took a new job over the Pennines where my youngest son lives with his mum and all has been ok. I get to see my lad a lot more than I have done the previous six years but and I know this sounds selfish I don't enjoy my job and don't find it easy to meet set targets. I have no social or love life and just go work then come back to the flat.
I know what I have to do to change that but I can't or won't pull myself up and do it.
Then the other day I picked up a bottle.. and I didn't stop until I was absolutely blind drunk. Missed work the next day which I'm due a proper bollocking for. I feel like I've wasted years of my life and don't see how I can improve it from here on in.
Then April last year I packed a few things and took a new job over the Pennines where my youngest son lives with his mum and all has been ok. I get to see my lad a lot more than I have done the previous six years but and I know this sounds selfish I don't enjoy my job and don't find it easy to meet set targets. I have no social or love life and just go work then come back to the flat.
I know what I have to do to change that but I can't or won't pull myself up and do it.
Then the other day I picked up a bottle.. and I didn't stop until I was absolutely blind drunk. Missed work the next day which I'm due a proper bollocking for. I feel like I've wasted years of my life and don't see how I can improve it from here on in.
Mate, I know it's not really my business to tell you what to do but I really think you might benefit from going to see your GP and talking things through with him/her. Take care, and please don't hesitate to PM if you want to chat.I packed the booze in three springs ago. A total clean break, Unfortunately I then replaced that addiction by upping my consumption of cocaine. Not even sociably either.. stupid really, the amount of money spent and the cost to my health..
Then April last year I packed a few things and took a new job over the Pennines where my youngest son lives with his mum and all has been ok. I get to see my lad a lot more than I have done the previous six years but and I know this sounds selfish I don't enjoy my job and don't find it easy to meet set targets. I have no social or love life and just go work then come back to the flat.
I know what I have to do to change that but I can't or won't pull myself up and do it.
Then the other day I picked up a bottle.. and I didn't stop until I was absolutely blind drunk. Missed work the next day which I'm due a proper bollocking for. I feel like I've wasted years of my life and don't see how I can improve it from here on in.
Bill
Well-Known Member
First thing to do is get help. There are professionals who deal with this stuff. Could be a shortcut out of this for you. Not sure if anyone could do this alone.I packed the booze in three springs ago. A total clean break, Unfortunately I then replaced that addiction by upping my consumption of cocaine. Not even sociably either.. stupid really, the amount of money spent and the cost to my health..
Then April last year I packed a few things and took a new job over the Pennines where my youngest son lives with his mum and all has been ok. I get to see my lad a lot more than I have done the previous six years but and I know this sounds selfish I don't enjoy my job and don't find it easy to meet set targets. I have no social or love life and just go work then come back to the flat.
I know what I have to do to change that but I can't or won't pull myself up and do it.
Then the other day I picked up a bottle.. and I didn't stop until I was absolutely blind drunk. Missed work the next day which I'm due a proper bollocking for. I feel like I've wasted years of my life and don't see how I can improve it from here on in.
Nebuchadnezzar
Well-Known Member
I packed the booze in three springs ago. A total clean break, Unfortunately I then replaced that addiction by upping my consumption of cocaine. Not even sociably either.. stupid really, the amount of money spent and the cost to my health..
Then April last year I packed a few things and took a new job over the Pennines where my youngest son lives with his mum and all has been ok. I get to see my lad a lot more than I have done the previous six years but and I know this sounds selfish I don't enjoy my job and don't find it easy to meet set targets. I have no social or love life and just go work then come back to the flat.
I know what I have to do to change that but I can't or won't pull myself up and do it.
Then the other day I picked up a bottle.. and I didn't stop until I was absolutely blind drunk. Missed work the next day which I'm due a proper bollocking for. I feel like I've wasted years of my life and don't see how I can improve it from here on in.
I can only say what others have said, try the route with the GP. That's a lot for one person to handle alone and you shouldn't have to.
It doesn't matter how many times you start again or have a clean slate. There is absolutely no limit, which is something that might be helpful to remember.