The miserable old bastard thread

Tuearts right boot said:
Technology.....cant do anything without something being updated, downloaded or upgraded just so some faceless billy no mates in a dark room somewhere can justify his, or hers, wages.
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.... and very high bonus based on on-time multiple software releases and (quite) quick bug fixes afterwards which in turn leads to a further software release which in turn.... You get the picture.
 
Just read that there's a new film about Arthur, King of the Britons due out next year. All great until I read that it was about Arthur 'running with' his fellow hoodlums before fighting a corrupt king who murdered his...fucking hell, what has Guy Ritchie done.

The ****.
 
I've just had baked potato and smoked mackerel for dinner and I'm churning out some truly epic farts. Proper gusset busters that rattle and splutter on the way out before exploding in a cacophony of noise and with a really strong bouquet. Only problem is, the mrs is downstairs asleep on the couch and my son is out on the piss, so I have no one to enjoy them with. What a fucking waste!
 
stony said:
I've just had baked potato and smoked mackerel for dinner and I'm churning out some truly epic farts. Proper gusset busters that rattle and splutter on the way out before exploding in a cacophony of noise and with a really strong bouquet. Only problem is, the mrs is downstairs asleep on the couch and my son is out on the piss, so I have no one to enjoy them with. What a fucking waste!
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I feel for you man. My wife has no sense of smell whatsoever. My talents are wasted around here. Thankfully I have a cat to torment.
 
Barcon said:
I feel for you man. My wife has no sense of smell whatsoever. My talents are wasted around here. Thankfully I have a cat to torment.
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My cousins neighbour was lying on the couch and the cat was mithering him and sitting on his head. He went to poke it and the cat moved, this caused his finger to go knuckle deep up the cats arse. It never bothered him again.
 
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