Things your missus does that drive you to despair

No man married or living with a woman who's had kids is allowed any sort of pain without the immortal line..............

"You don't know pain until you've experienced child birth"

All the fucking time.

There is no doubt that childbirth is painful but am I really expected to believe it's the worst pain ever when the statement is from someone who looks like she is dieing and hobbles for a week when one of the kids toys hits an ankle!!
 
No man married or living with a woman who's had kids is allowed any sort of pain without the immortal line..............

"You don't know pain until you've experienced child birth"

All the fucking time.

That's one line she can never through at me. I was in the delivery room with her and she didn't even have a paracetamol - she made me a very proud man that day
 
When we eat out she usually asks "Shall we share?" Which is code for "I'll order my first choice and you can order my 2nd choice". Which is preferable to "I'm not that hungry but I'll share yours" which means that I'm meant to have half a portion of her choice.
 
When we eat out she usually asks "Shall we share?" Which is code for "I'll order my first choice and you can order my 2nd choice". Which is prefereable to "I'm not that hungry but I'll share yours" which means that I'm meant to have half a portion of her choice.

I'm living with her twin fucking sister.
 
We have a 9 week old baby.

Every single time without fail "your holding her wrong" - I am literally holding her exactly the same as you just were you dizzy cow

Also when the little one is sleeping she will have the TV on loud but as soon as I whisper to have a chat with her "shush you will wake the baby" - She's the fucking loudest person I know.

Also alot which has been said already ! bloody women
 
After reading through all of these things and being a victim of most of them I decided fuck it, I'm packing a bag.

It didn't take long to realise there is nowhere to go as they are all carbon copies of truly annoying bastards, every single one.

I also agree with the poster who said his list is probably not unsubstantial, as would mine be.

Ah well.

Did I mention mine also leaves a freshly used teabag on the worktop beside the sink. The bin is literally on the way out the kitchen. How can that be possible? No matter how many times I point it out. Between her and my cat no **** pays the slightest bit of notice to my issues.
 
Got some more;

She comes home with a 'something', i ask why she bought it, it's because it was a bargain, but we didn't need or want it so it's actually a waste of money, she can't see the logic behind that.

Cushions, been mentioned above, why ffs?

Xmas wrapping paper, she asked me last Xmas to get her a roll out of the loft, there were over 24 complete rolls that she'd accumulated over the years. 20 fucking 4!!

The car, hers is fucking filthy, she complained that i hadn't taken hers when i took mine to the car wash, how the fuck could i drive both cars i said, she was even at work in hers at the time!!

And as for shoes, Christ she's got more than fucking Timpsons!!

Quick edit...

Lists!! Why do women all leave us a list of things to do when they're out and we're having a quiet day in. I want a wank, watch some shit on the TV and maybe have a shit with the door open (TM Pigeinho) not do a whole set of chores that you couldn't be arsed doing if you were in!! We don't leave them a list.

Ahh, the 'list'.

The set of cunts.
 

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