Things your missus does that drive you to despair

She’s left my car in a ridiculously stupid place over the weekend, in Stockport town centre, as it was her works do, and guess what?

Back windows gone.

If you saw where she left it you’d laugh or cry.

Fucking idiot.
 
Mine is a recycler she recycles anything and everything she even takes neighbours shit in and does it for them. Her new trick is to strip all the electrical items to there bare bones (She doesn't sell the metal she gives it to the scrappie). I am one for recyling but there have been a few victims namely a HP laptop charger and a £70 PSU I "Wasn't using".
The PSU is lethal and she opened it stripped it and managed not to kill herself in the process.
 
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Why do they feel the need to find things for you to do?

She's works 18 hours a week compared to my 40-odd. I've had a pleasant bank holiday weekend off work. The first days off I've had (apart from weekends) since January. I've done some painting with the kids, kept the house tidy, been on walks with the dog with her and generally done my bit.

Today, she went for a bike ride with the daughter. I took the bull by the horns to avoid being given the dreaded list.

I hoovered round, filled the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen worktops. When she came in, I decided to iron my shirts for the week at work.

An hour before she goes to work, I think I'll catch up on a few of the things I'm doing to keep sane without football. I'm sat writing an email to a football magazine that I'd like to contribute to when she appears like fucking Tubbs in the Local Shop. "Will you do me a favour? I want you to order *daughter* a bed off amazon."

"Yes - does it have to be now though?"

"I just want it sorting. My mum's treating her. I'm paying and she's giving me the money back. I've got it on my phone."

Concentration gone. God forbid I do something for twenty minutes that I want to do. I momentarily forgot that me having some head space is against the rules.

We spend another twenty minutes looking for the bed she wants. We order it, it says it'll be delivered in a fucking month!

I go for a walk rather than have a row. Halfway round, I get an email saying there's insufficient funds in her account so the order hasn't been completed.

Tomorrow, I return to work. The very last thing on my mind will be to tell her what I want her to do with her day.
 
buying a newspaper

I am working all week seeing different people etc all week the missus is on furlough sat at home. Now every Saturday she buys the daily f**king mail much to my dislike. She has just asked me to go to the garage a buy it, I said ''is it an essential journey ?'' ''No'' she said ''ok I am not going than, if you think I am going out just to get a shitty newspaper after being out all week you can forget it, I want at least two days a week in my house feeling safe''. ''I'll go myself than'' she said

she is diabetic but is prepared to get me or her to do an unnecessary journey just to buy the f**king daily mail......I am angry !!
 
buying a newspaper

I am working all week seeing different people etc all week the missus is on furlough sat at home. Now every Saturday she buys the daily f**king mail much to my dislike. She has just asked me to go to the garage a buy it, I said ''is it an essential journey ?'' ''No'' she said ''ok I am not going than, if you think I am going out just to get a shitty newspaper after being out all week you can forget it, I want at least two days a week in my house feeling safe''. ''I'll go myself than'' she said

she is diabetic but is prepared to get me or her to do an unnecessary journey just to buy the f**king daily mail......I am angry !!
Leave her to it mate and make sure life insurance /will is in order if she gets covid at the garage.


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I said to Mrsery seen as she is a key worker I would like to go and get a Covid test as I’ve been feeling rough on and off for about a month now.

Well fuck me, you’d have thought I’d told her I was having an affair!

“You don’t need a test, there’s nothing wrong with you, it will be a waste of a test” (Charming!)

She even had the audacity to accuse me of losing my marbles!

She had a fucking runny nose last week and she was straight off to Mcr airport for the test. I’m aright Jack!

I feel like cancelling my life insurance , that’ll teach her.
 

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