Things your missus does that drive you to despair

[Barcon]

Runs the shower for ten fucking minutes before she actually gets in it.

That's just to piss you off for not letting her get one of those American toilets that hold a load of water.

 

[Bill Walker]

That's just to piss you off for not letting her get one of those American toilets that hold a load of water.

Ahh.. dont remind me of those, anti social fucking things, its like a fucking duck pond in there

 

[mr t]

Constantly grabs the car door handle when I’m driving - it’s driving me round the fucking bend

 

[Kiss this guy]

Says shes 'popping' out to the precinct for a 'mooch', comes back £50 lighter with crap we don't need.

 

[JASR]

Constantly grabs the car door handle when I’m driving - it’s driving me round the fucking bend

She’s grabbing the steering wheel then, not door handle?

 

[flook]

Turns the bedroom lights off by pulling the cord on the ceiling fans so when I go into the pitch black room the fucking light switch doesn't work. Meanwhile she leaves all the other lights on and says, "I'm going back in there later".
They're not fucking kick start lights luv. It's a simple switch.

4 hours later the lights still on and she's still going back in there "in a minute"

 

[chanceatthefarpost]

Gives out an over dramatic sharp intake of breath whenever anything slightly out of the ordinary happens. Was driving recently and she let's out said intake of breath like a child has just run in front of the car.

"What the fucks a matter?

"I forgot to get claire a birthday card in Morrisons this morning".

 

[Stoned Rose]

Gives out an over dramatic sharp intake of breath whenever anything slightly out of the ordinary happens. Was driving recently and she let's out said intake of breath like a child has just run in front of the car.

"What the fucks a matter?

"I forgot to get claire a birthday card in Morrisons this morning".

Every bird had a mate called Claire.

 

[Stoned Rose]

Says shes 'popping' out to the precinct for a 'mooch', comes back £50 lighter with crap we don't need.

 

[Blue Mist]

Walks in after 3 hours in a pub totally sober. She's had 2 vodkas!! What's the point of going out ?