David Tennant - Boring, boring man.
Phil Thompson -Bitter, detestable, cnut.
Delia Smith - How to boil an egg, right, because that needs a whole 30 minutes of a show.
Matthew Wright - Wright Stuff, topical nonsense on Channel 5.
Deborah Meaden - "I think it's shit, oh, Theo likes it, well how about we go halfs on it?"
Graham Norton - Makes Barrowman and Winton look straight.
Jenny Frost - Stunning but brain dead.
Derren Brown - Boring, mate, go away.
Kirstie Allsopp - Snotty cow, get a grip.
Noel Edmonds - It's opening boxes at random, stop getting an erection.
Noel Fielding - "I have a coat made of boomerangs and jelly, aren't I witty" - No, you're a tit.