Troy Deeney's Team of the Week 2024/25

I don't usually give a toss about this. I give it a casual look at best.
Five dipper players in and Kova not in is just a sort of joke. Frankly, I would have put Kova in before Haaland, if it comes right down to it. But both deserve a place. The Hammers at their place are a much more serious prospect these days than the rags.
 
I don't usually give a toss about this. I give it a casual look at best.
Five dipper players in and Kova not in is just a sort of joke. Frankly, I would have put Kova in before Haaland, if it comes right down to it. But both deserve a place. The Hammers at their place are a much more serious prospect these days than the rags.

And he didn't even want to include Haaland.

"Erling Haaland (Manchester City): The main man up front. I tried to find someone else but you can't score back-to-back hat-tricks and not get in the team of the week."

Alisson included because he kept a clean sheet. Did he actually make any saves?

"Alisson (Liverpool): He was the only goalkeeper to keep a clean sheet. Liverpool were all over Manchester United from start to finish."
 
"Alisson (Liverpool): He was the only goalkeeper to keep a clean sheet. Liverpool were all over Manchester United from start to finish."

Extraordinary reasoning! Did this guy actually play football, or just go through the motions?
Jesus, if it comes down to it, Areola should be in, because he made an out-of-this-world save from Kev. Hart kept many clean sheets, so has Ed, because they were/are both protected by a superb back four. On their own admission, there were matches where they had nothing to do.
As for his second sentence, it is brain dead: it is like pitting Muhammad Ali against a featherweight, seeing him knock him down five times, and then saying that he boxed brilliantly.

Up till now, I was not badly disposed towards Deeney, simply because a few years ago I heard him interviewed in a radio programme by Louis Theroux. Theroux (who is the son of the writer Paul Theroux) clearly knew nothing about football (and was proud of his ignorance), and had a number of prejudices about footballers which were barely concealed, if at all. He was studiedly condescending, and Deeny kept his cool with him and remained civil. Also, like a number of black footballers (not all, by any means) he came out of difficult family circumstances and sort of saved himself through football.
I'm afraid his stock with me has just plummeted. These guys take the shilling from BBC, Sky and the rest without asking themselves, “Can I actually do this job?”
 
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And he didn't even want to include Haaland.

"Erling Haaland (Manchester City): The main man up front. I tried to find someone else but you can't score back-to-back hat-tricks and not get in the team of the week."
And I’m absolutely sure that the Viking doesn’t give a flying fuck either way.
 
I've come up with an alternative 11. If people like it I'm happy to continue it through the season:

Ederson - used his hands well
Rico - ran up and down and passed the ball with his foot
Dias - wonderful finish even if at the wrong end
Van Dijk - heard him called a Rolls Royce so guessing he's good every game
Robinson - watched 2min highlights on youtube and he got an assist. Can't think of another LB.
Rice - harsh sending off and Arsenal would have won with him on the pitch so shows how good he was
Joelinton - saw the sky highlights and he played a good through ball
De Bruyne - another player who oozes class so assume he was probably decent
Diaz - scored twice
Salah - nice new haircut and scored
Delap - lovely finish. Haaland got three but he plays for City so it's like scoring 0.5 for anyone else.

Manager - Ten Hag - funny Harry Potter reference.
 
I've come up with an alternative 11. If people like it I'm happy to continue it through the season:

Ederson - used his hands well
Rico - ran up and down and passed the ball with his foot
Dias - wonderful finish even if at the wrong end
Van Dijk - heard him called a Rolls Royce so guessing he's good every game
Robinson - watched 2min highlights on youtube and he got an assist. Can't think of another LB.
Rice - harsh sending off and Arsenal would have won with him on the pitch so shows how good he was
Joelinton - saw the sky highlights and he played a good through ball
De Bruyne - another player who oozes class so assume he was probably decent
Diaz - scored twice
Salah - nice new haircut and scored
Delap - lovely finish. Haaland got three but he plays for City so it's like scoring 0.5 for anyone else.

Manager - Ten Hag - funny Harry Potter reference.

(In Palpatine voice) “Gooooood!”
 
Nice to see they've found someone else to not watch the games and then choose a team based on whoever scored or whoever looked decent in the highlights.

But even so, Jesus Christ this is bad.

Alisson (Liverpool): He was the only goalkeeper to keep a clean sheet. Liverpool were all over Manchester United from start to finish.

Brilliant analysis. And did Alisson actually do anything himself?

Lamare Bogarde (Aston Villa): I've gone a bit different at the back. He made his debut for Aston Villa and handled himself very well.

Handled himself very well. How specific.

Virgil van Dijk (Liverpool): He got a clean sheet and was a monster once again. He was a colossal force at the back. He oozes quality and Liverpool need to tie him down on a new contract.

Virgil van Dijk is a good defender and Liverpool probably shouldn't let him leave on a free. And he gets paid for this.

Nathan Collins (Brentford): Was very good for Brentford and assisted the goal that was given to Yoane Wissa. He was good in both boxes.

'Good in both boxes' because he's a defender who got an assist, presumably. What did he do well in the other box?

Andy Robertson (Liverpool): He had a really good game in a dominant Liverpool performance.

A really good game, you say? Wow, I can just picture it in my head.

I'd say he's just fed the match reports into ChatGPT and got it to write it for him, but I reckon ChatGPT would have a bit more flair than that.
 
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Nice to see they've found someone else to not watch the games and then choose a team based on whoever scored or whoever looked decent in the highlights.

But even so, Jesus Christ this is bad.

Alisson (Liverpool): He was the only goalkeeper to keep a clean sheet. Liverpool were all over Manchester United from start to finish.

Brilliant analysis. And did Alisson actually do anything himself?

Lamare Bogarde (Aston Villa): I've gone a bit different at the back. He made his debut for Aston Villa and handled himself very well.

Handled himself very well. How specific.

Virgil van Dijk (Liverpool): He got a clean sheet and was a monster once again. He was a colossal force at the back. He oozes quality and Liverpool need to tie him down on a new contract.

Virgil van Dijk is a good defender and Liverpool probably shouldn't let him leave on a free. And he gets paid for this.

Nathan Collins (Brentford): Was very good for Brentford and assisted the goal that was given to Yoane Wissa. He was good in both boxes.

'Good in both boxes' because he's a defender who got an assist, presumably. What did he do well in the other box?

Andy Robertson (Liverpool): He had a really good game in a dominant Liverpool performance.

A really good game, you say? Wow, I can just picture it in my head.

I'd say he's just fed the match reports into ChatGPT and got it to write it for him, but I reckon ChatGPT would have a bit more flair than that.
5 Liverpool players in it after an easy win against a bunch of clowns.
New wanker but same old same old.
 
Its really, really bad. If he handed that in as work at a primary school it would be handed back and he would be asked to be more descriptive.
 
I liked Garth as a player, he’s a nice guy, but I can’t handle him pundit wise. Talking basically. That’s it, just anything he says and especially the way he says it. Grates. I’m grated now just thinking about it. Whoever got me onto this can just fuck off.
 

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