Nice to see they've found someone else to not watch the games and then choose a team based on whoever scored or whoever looked decent in the highlights.
But even so, Jesus Christ this is bad.
Alisson (Liverpool): He was the only goalkeeper to keep a clean sheet. Liverpool were all over Manchester United from start to finish.
Brilliant analysis. And did Alisson actually do anything himself?
Lamare Bogarde (Aston Villa): I've gone a bit different at the back. He made his debut for Aston Villa and handled himself very well.
Handled himself very well. How specific.
Virgil van Dijk (Liverpool): He got a clean sheet and was a monster once again. He was a colossal force at the back. He oozes quality and Liverpool need to tie him down on a new contract.
Virgil van Dijk is a good defender and Liverpool probably shouldn't let him leave on a free. And he gets paid for this.
Nathan Collins (Brentford): Was very good for Brentford and assisted the goal that was given to Yoane Wissa. He was good in both boxes.
'Good in both boxes' because he's a defender who got an assist, presumably. What did he do well in the other box?
Andy Robertson (Liverpool): He had a really good game in a dominant Liverpool performance.
A really good game, you say? Wow, I can just picture it in my head.
I'd say he's just fed the match reports into ChatGPT and got it to write it for him, but I reckon ChatGPT would have a bit more flair than that.