United thread 2013/14 (continued)

[foetus]

Apparently Moyes has promised fans that the rags will be in a major European competition next year.




Even if he has to write the song himself.

 

[colbee59]

Former Manchester United defender Paul McGrath has heaped praise on Manchester City fans.

McGrath wrote in the Sunday World: "As a former Manchester United player, that clubs supporters wont be happy with me praising the Sky Blue legions.

"But I remember being at Maine Road one night for a match against Macclesfield, when there were 33,000 in the ground for what would now be a League One match.

"Such loyalty has to be admired, all the more so when that was the era of their Red neighbours hoovering up almost every trophy going."

 

[AntiUnited]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyQ3_JwPzq4[/youtube]

 

[Cosmin]

Manchester United's 'Ask Carrick' on Twitter hugely backfired when some of the fans vented out their anger with some of these hilarious questions...

# AskCarrick if you could drop one player from the team how would you tell Cleverley?. ‪
#‎AskCarrick‬ How does it feel knowing Begovic has more goals than you this season.
#AskCarrick in what game was your most memorable pass back to your keeper.
#AskCarrick What do the benches at Wembley feel like? Which one of them is your favourite? Surely you must've tried them all?
#AskCarrick Do you watch Cleverly train to feel good about yourself?
#AskCarrick On a scale of Tom Cleverly to 10, how bad is Ashley Young?
#AskCarrick Which pub will you go to watch the World Cup?
#AskCarrick Would Moyes consider putting De Gea upfront, so that you can pass the ball the right way?
#AskCarrick If a ball leaves your boot travelling at 30km per hour at 3 pm on saturday, how long does it take to reach De Gea?
#AskCarrick Have you tried putting on your kit backwards so you could pass the ball forward?
#AskCarrick As a child, did you ever dream of becoming a footballer? What stopped you?
#AskCarrick Be Honest, Do You Ever Include Yourself In Your Fantasy Premier League Team?
#AskCarrick Do you think Welback has really been training too hard on penalty?
#AskCarrick Are you going to reply to any of the #AskCarrick tweets or pass it over to De Gea?
#AskCarrick Do you die a little inside when you're looking for someone to pass to and Tom Cleverley is to your left?
#AskCarrick Do you ever look at Young, Cleverly, Smalling, Welbeck & question the point of living?
#AskCarrick Did Cleverly win a competition on the back of a box of cereals to play for MUFC?
#AskCarrick If you had to choose between having Cleverley as a midfield partner or being stabbed in the leg, how many stabs would you take?
#AskCarrick Do you get depressed when you see Tom Cleverley's name on the team sheet and realize you're gonna have to play with 9 men?
#AskCarrick How many times has Mata tried to run away since signing for us?

 

[TCIB]

Manchester United's 'Ask Carrick' on Twitter hugely backfired when some of the fans vented out their anger with some of these hilarious questions...

# AskCarrick if you could drop one player from the team how would you tell Cleverley?. ‪
#‎AskCarrick‬ How does it feel knowing Begovic has more goals than you this season.
#AskCarrick in what game was your most memorable pass back to your keeper.
#AskCarrick What do the benches at Wembley feel like? Which one of them is your favourite? Surely you must've tried them all?
#AskCarrick Do you watch Cleverly train to feel good about yourself?
#AskCarrick On a scale of Tom Cleverly to 10, how bad is Ashley Young?
#AskCarrick Which pub will you go to watch the World Cup?
#AskCarrick Would Moyes consider putting De Gea upfront, so that you can pass the ball the right way?
#AskCarrick If a ball leaves your boot travelling at 30km per hour at 3 pm on saturday, how long does it take to reach De Gea?
#AskCarrick Have you tried putting on your kit backwards so you could pass the ball forward?
#AskCarrick As a child, did you ever dream of becoming a footballer? What stopped you?
#AskCarrick Be Honest, Do You Ever Include Yourself In Your Fantasy Premier League Team?
#AskCarrick Do you think Welback has really been training too hard on penalty?
#AskCarrick Are you going to reply to any of the #AskCarrick tweets or pass it over to De Gea?
#AskCarrick Do you die a little inside when you're looking for someone to pass to and Tom Cleverley is to your left?
#AskCarrick Do you ever look at Young, Cleverly, Smalling, Welbeck & question the point of living?
#AskCarrick Did Cleverly win a competition on the back of a box of cereals to play for MUFC?
#AskCarrick If you had to choose between having Cleverley as a midfield partner or being stabbed in the leg, how many stabs would you take?
#AskCarrick Do you get depressed when you see Tom Cleverley's name on the team sheet and realize you're gonna have to play with 9 men?
#AskCarrick How many times has Mata tried to run away since signing for us?

Some of those are great, all of em brought a giggle.

 

[laserblue]

It seems like the Fair Play route into the Europa League is closed to the rags. They're currently 17th in the PL (City are 4th).

Never mind.

 

[sir baconface]

It seems like the Fair Play route into the Europa League is closed to the rags. They're currently 17th in the PL (City are 4th).

Never mind.

My namesake is lobbying for a rule change. All cards that he disputes are to be discounted.

 

[Prestwich_Blue]

THE BEST JOKES OF DAVID MOYES

What is the difference between David Moyes and Roberto Martinez?
Roberto Martínez has actually won a cup!?

David Moyes told a reporter, "The fans are behind me."
He's right.
Liverpool fans, Chelsea fans, Arsenal fans, Man City fans, Spurs fans, Everton Fans.

It took Fergie 26 years to build United into Premierships (perhaps) most fearsome club.
Moyes has managed to dismantle it at 6 months.
The question is what a feat that is most difficult?

United's winning mentality is gone in six months!
Congratulations Moyes.

In Moyes We Trust

I would say that each of those jokes are definitely as funny as each other.

Here's another (rehashed) one, that some older posters will remember in a different guise:

Just heard that Manuel bumped into Wee Davey down at the local ASDA;

Manuel: "Hello David, what are you doing in here?"

Davey: "Oh, hello Manuel. I'm just picking up a sack of spuds for Tom Cleverley."

Manuel: "Ahhh, good swap."

And then later in Asda, wee Davey saw this little old lady struggling to get something on the top shelf.

"Can you manage love? " asked Davey." You can piss off" said the old dear. "You got them into this mess and you can get them out."

 

[Dave S]

Manchester United's 'Ask Carrick' on Twitter hugely backfired when some of the fans vented out their anger with some of these hilarious questions...

# AskCarrick if you could drop one player from the team how would you tell Cleverley?. ‪
#‎AskCarrick‬ How does it feel knowing Begovic has more goals than you this season.
#AskCarrick in what game was your most memorable pass back to your keeper.
#AskCarrick What do the benches at Wembley feel like? Which one of them is your favourite? Surely you must've tried them all?
#AskCarrick Do you watch Cleverly train to feel good about yourself?
#AskCarrick On a scale of Tom Cleverly to 10, how bad is Ashley Young?
#AskCarrick Which pub will you go to watch the World Cup?
#AskCarrick Would Moyes consider putting De Gea upfront, so that you can pass the ball the right way?
#AskCarrick If a ball leaves your boot travelling at 30km per hour at 3 pm on saturday, how long does it take to reach De Gea?
#AskCarrick Have you tried putting on your kit backwards so you could pass the ball forward?
#AskCarrick As a child, did you ever dream of becoming a footballer? What stopped you?
#AskCarrick Be Honest, Do You Ever Include Yourself In Your Fantasy Premier League Team?
#AskCarrick Do you think Welback has really been training too hard on penalty?
#AskCarrick Are you going to reply to any of the #AskCarrick tweets or pass it over to De Gea?
#AskCarrick Do you die a little inside when you're looking for someone to pass to and Tom Cleverley is to your left?
#AskCarrick Do you ever look at Young, Cleverly, Smalling, Welbeck & question the point of living?
#AskCarrick Did Cleverly win a competition on the back of a box of cereals to play for MUFC?
#AskCarrick If you had to choose between having Cleverley as a midfield partner or being stabbed in the leg, how many stabs would you take?
#AskCarrick Do you get depressed when you see Tom Cleverley's name on the team sheet and realize you're gonna have to play with 9 men?
#AskCarrick How many times has Mata tried to run away since signing for us?

hilarious some of those.

 

[Vienna_70]

Has anyone seen the Virgin Media advert, in which Usain Bolt says he can watch his favourite team at any time.

What he really means in, he can watch his favourite team lose at any time.

;-)