United Thread | 2024/25
- Thread starter Thaksinssoldier
- Start date
Alan Harper's Tash
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- Joined
- 12 Dec 2010
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He’s not suited to playing a high line. They have no pace in their defence. If they play high, they’ll get picked off easily.
BTH
Well-Known Member
Should be in the joke thread but worth an outing here too... I hope you'll agree.
So Erich ten Haag goes into a bank to cash a rather large cheque. He goes to the counter and says, I'd like to cash a cheque please, The cahier smiles at him and says certainly sir but I do need some ID. He looks quizzically at her and says "but I'm Eric ten Haag the Manchester United manager, ask anyone, everyone knows that, so please will you cash my cheque? The cashier apologises and says "I'm sorry sir, Bank policy dictates we must have some form of ID when customers want large cheques cashed. So tenHaag looking all forlorn says "but I don't have any ID on me.
The cashier thinks for a moment and says. "okay, so a couple of years ago we had Tiger woods in and he had no ID so he pulled out his putter and rolled a ball into a cup 50 feet away with huge precision and accuracy such that the ball stopped rolling just as it crossed the lip of the cup, so we cashed his cheque.
Then on another occasion Novak Djokavic came in and he too wanted a cheque cashed and he had no ID either so he pulled out a tennis racquet and served a spinner back haned, the ball went down the hall. spun back and landed at the feet of the manage. Again we recognised his strength and talent and cashed his cheque. The cashier then said what is unique about you that will demonstrate to the Bank who you are? Well, ten Haag just went pale and started sweating and blubbering...I have no ID, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, I haven't a clue, I cannot think of a practical solution.... "STOP, STOP STOP" yells the cashier "Okay, okay, how would you like the cash Mr ten Haag.
Well I thought it was funny!
So Erich ten Haag goes into a bank to cash a rather large cheque. He goes to the counter and says, I'd like to cash a cheque please, The cahier smiles at him and says certainly sir but I do need some ID. He looks quizzically at her and says "but I'm Eric ten Haag the Manchester United manager, ask anyone, everyone knows that, so please will you cash my cheque? The cashier apologises and says "I'm sorry sir, Bank policy dictates we must have some form of ID when customers want large cheques cashed. So tenHaag looking all forlorn says "but I don't have any ID on me.
The cashier thinks for a moment and says. "okay, so a couple of years ago we had Tiger woods in and he had no ID so he pulled out his putter and rolled a ball into a cup 50 feet away with huge precision and accuracy such that the ball stopped rolling just as it crossed the lip of the cup, so we cashed his cheque.
Then on another occasion Novak Djokavic came in and he too wanted a cheque cashed and he had no ID either so he pulled out a tennis racquet and served a spinner back haned, the ball went down the hall. spun back and landed at the feet of the manage. Again we recognised his strength and talent and cashed his cheque. The cashier then said what is unique about you that will demonstrate to the Bank who you are? Well, ten Haag just went pale and started sweating and blubbering...I have no ID, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, I haven't a clue, I cannot think of a practical solution.... "STOP, STOP STOP" yells the cashier "Okay, okay, how would you like the cash Mr ten Haag.
Well I thought it was funny!
Kinkys Left Foot
Well-Known Member
Another £250 million spent.
Still shit.
Still shit.
daveiw01
Well-Known Member
They're still in transition, give them a break! Another half a billion and I can see them finishing fourth to be fair...
Mad Eyed Screamer
Moderator
fourth from bottom?
Alan Harper's Tash
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- Joined
- 12 Dec 2010
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- 61,178
Should be a yellow for Lord Fishfinger.
daveiw01
Well-Known Member
Works for me, though I'd prefer 3rd from bottom tbh.
deegee33
Well-Known Member
The butcher is going to need a ladder.