Urban myths

[snorky]

I got a dick like a babbers finger,
But I go off like a fuckin crop sprayer

 

[aguero93:20]

Has anyone mentioned the legendary one about the lad with the headphones on, eyes closed, "enjoying himself" intensely? When he finished, he opened his eyes and there's a cuppa on the bedside table. And the only other person in the house is his mother.

Titanic pic incoming.

 

[jimharri]

Titanic pic incoming.

That'll be a yes, then. Actually, I asked because I didn't know if anyone had posted it. A bit of a radical approach, eh?

 

[aguero93:20]

That'll be a yes, then. Actually, I asked because I didn't know if anyone had posted it. A bit of a radical approach, eh?

Unusual on here.

 

[Elbow beards]

Person comes to the aid of a Irish/ Asian person, either retrieving a phone, coat, money. As a reward, said person warns him not to attend the Arndale, London other destination on specific day. Then on specific day, large explosion in said area.

 

[beast]

I got a dick like a babbers finger,
But I go off like a fuckin crop sprayer

A like is not enough.

 

[City Hobgoblin]

The one about giant mutated spiders in Chernobyl, lurking in lift shafts and dropping in on unsuspecting lift users.

 

[Shaggy]

I don’t know that one?

A big one at school was that Nigel Benn was walking through a side street in London in a suit and someone tried to mug him. In reality, Chris Eubank foiled a robbery and held the thief until the police arrived. He was so strong that the man couldn’t escape.

Almond
1. noun, an edible oval nut with a hard shell, or the tree that it grows on:
2. noun, an imperial measurement of liquid, about half a stomach full:

 

[Beswick Prize Bands Big Drum]

I'm certain we've all heard a story repeated slightly differently from differently sources
I'll start with this one

A friend of a friend (girl) is a hairdresser and works at a unisex salon
Just as she was locking up one up one evening a bloke came along and said please can you cut my hair I know you're just closing but please will you just do it
She agreed and let the bloke into the shop. He sat in the chair and she fastened the cape. She turned to get the scissors, razor, comb and brush out and when she turned back the guy was masturbating under the cape, so she hit him full force with the brush and knocked him clean out if the chair
The cape fell to one side and the bloke was holding his glasses which he'd been cleaning

Heard that one about 20 years ago.

 

[bennyboy]

City are a better team without Haaland.