What's the most drunk you've ever been?

TueartsOHK said:
Smirnoff vodka promotion night at UMIST. Every time you bought a vodka you got a raffle ticket where you either got Smirnoff merchandise or a free vodka. I kept getting free vodkas. 3 hours later it was projectile vomit in the hall of residence toilets. Took me days to get over it and not had a drop of vodka since - that was 30 years ago.
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Too many to remember the worst but among the many 'highlights'...

Carried back home from the students' union after arriving late for post-game sesh and trying to 'catch up' with four triple vodkas as an opening gambit. The rest of the night carried on in the same vein.

Many years later got back on it with some Ukrainians. Ended up asleep on the toilet floor with spew everywhere. Eventually married the girl I'd gone there with. Think she was impressed by my never say die spirit, if not my actual max payload limit.

Next Ukrainan party was a wedding reception at the happy couple's town house. Another massive all afternoon & night vodkafest. Ended up asleep in the marital bed after having puked my guts up everywhere.

There seems to be a theme here....
 
Eng v Aus at old trafford, the year City brought out the kappa kit.

'I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability' - Ron White.
 
Diamond White promotion night in the student union in about 1988. Blacked out. Woke up about 5 hours later on the floor in the hallway of a hall of residence I didn’t live in on the other side of town. No recollection whatsoever of what I’d done. Threw up on my grey shirt and the vomit turned the fabric bright red. Never touched cider since.
 
Went out on an all dayer with one of my mates last summer.

We did a bit of a bar crawl and 5 hours passed just sat in the sun and lapping up the atmosphere. Had some nice pub food and didn't feel too bad.

Then we decided to chance our arm at a couple of sambucas and this is probably the point it started to go downhill. Another 5 hours later and we'd continued our pace into the local nightclub...

I can't remember much of it but apparently I ghosted out of the venue to go home. I turned up back at mine dripping wet through with a broken phone and thought the bath was the toilet. My sister in law was staying over, so she'd woken up and found me lying in the bath with my pants round my ankles.

On my way home I'd fallen down a bank and into a shallow stream. I must have landed on some rocks as my shins were black and blue, and in absolute agony, for about 2 weeks.

Probably had many other nights just as pissed but this one caused me the most mental and physical damage!!
 
About five years ago my sister was up from London and all the old pals and family were out. We went to a bar that had an adjoining smoking section and started drinking. My sister shouted me over to the bar, where she informed me they had a special on of a bottle of white wine for a fiver.

We both got tore in and we’re drinking a bottle per round. My pal had some great weed and of course, stupid as fuck ****, thought why not. Anyway the night went on and I suddenly felt the need to leave. It was in the city centre and a woman I know biblically lived in Garnethill, about a mile away and a ten minute walk.

That ten minute walk lasted an hour and a half, where I fell on my arse about 20 times. Not a solitary **** tried to help me, probably due to me cursing and swearing with every fall, I just couldn’t stay on my feet.

I finally got to get flat, two flights and three falls. Luckily all forward. She opened the door and if I said she was less than pleased to see me, that would be understating the scene.

She put me in her bed and slept on the couch. I awoke with her at work and stayed there all day, my arse felt as if it had been run over by several trains and my hands were scratched and bruised to fuck.

I had never been that drunk. She was laughing about it when she came back. Finding it difficult to sit, I laughed less.

Stayed the night and had some sexual healing.

Swings and roundabouts I suppose. At least I didn’t vomit or shit myself.
 
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17th birthday. Had about 5 pints when my mates clubbed in a bought a pint with half of it lager and the rest filled with top shelf drinks. I downed it one. Dont remember anything of the night from 15 mins later. I was practically comatose with my mates dragging me around the pubs with sick on my shirt. Lucky i didn't need a stomach pump.

remembered another that almost matched it. Was at my (now wifes) cousins wedding in Canada, coming to terms with my mothers terminal cancer diagnosis. I didn't know anyone and was introduced to the family. I started off alright but then the drink started to take effect and I started getting angry and morose and went on an epic mine sweep, didn't give a fuck whose drinks i was downing but they were flying down. Ending up sat at a table in the corner crying barely able to sit upright. Should have seen the looks i got at the breakfast next day. haha
 
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