Write Sundays Headlines

Poo Nani

Portugeuse star has trouser accident after De jong looks at him.

Say hello to my little friends

Silva and Wright Phillips Mafioso perfomance destroys United

Raped

Evans terrorised by free scoring Tevez at Old Trafford.
 
CITY DINE ON A CLASSIC GOAL FEAST WITH SILVA SERVICE.
Manchester city arrived at owed trafford showing hunger and determination, David Silva laid 4 goals on a plate for his goal hungry strikeforce, Dzeko and Tevez scored a brace each and De Jong single handedly repelled anything the Ushited midfield tried to cook up.

Aftermatch interview showed a heavily intoxicated slur ferguson shouting at mariner "15 mins extra time, is that it, you took the moneyy u bashtard aghhhhh cook my sock"
 
mat said:
Poo Nani

Portugeuse star has trouser accident after De jong looks at him.

Say hello to my little friends

Silva and Wright Phillips Mafioso perfomance destroys United

Raped

Evans terrorised by free scoring Tevez at Old Trafford.



Oh shit mat ahhahaha that was funny
 
"Flipping Dzeck"

big money signing Edin Dzeko breaks his premiership with finishing masterclass in 89th minute to break deadlock in heated derby.

"Four sup-POZED to be at home"

Manchester City fans embark on a all night Poznan bonanza after seeing their team hammer a hapless United side by 4 goals to nill. It was Uniteds first home defeat in..



there may be more of these I have much time on my hands today
 
"Class -the Dutchie from the left hand side"

City midfielder Nigel De Jong rounded off a fantastic team performance and immense individual performance with a later winner at Old Trafford, when he uncharacteristically hit cut in from the left flank and hit a 30 yard piledriver into the top corner.
 
Daily Telegraph: 'Silva hatrick illustrates shift in power in Manchester and leaves Fergie stunned'

New of the World: 'Fergie fuming after Spanish Paiela [sp?] leaves sour taste'

Daily Mail: 'Foreign immigrant scores 3 to upset British manager and legend Sir Alex ferguson, Foreign Office to investigate family background in an attempt to get said immigrant deported'
 
"ITS STANDING ROOM ONLY"

United fans throw themselves off Trafford Bridge in there thousands after United`s 5-0 humiliation by City.

a spokesman when ask, how will you get this lot out said, " we should be ok as we have a boom that we use for oil spills, this should allow us to skim the scum off the top"
 
Murderous City Fans Ruin Manchester's Munich Magic

"Manchester City has been thrown out of the league after several Man United fans died after unprovoked assaults by evil twisted Stockport based "blues".

During the dedicated 1958 minute silence for the heroic victims of the Munich Air Disaster, an air crash which is so much more important than any other air tragedy in human history-inside sources say that one City fan arrived into the stands late because he'd been in the loo and one city fan scratched his nose, behaviour that has been condemned by The FA, Premier League and David Gill alike.

This silence to England's footballing heroes, the famous Busby Babes, along with some other guy who for some strange reason was a City bloke, was disturbed and this upset the loyal Mancunian United fans who made up the 76,000 capacity crowd as they do every game. The United fans near the away end politely enquired as to why City fans had spoilt their selfless act-sponsored by AON, with all memorabilia in the club megastore-and deservedly slapped the shit bags, particularly in they were specky faced blondes. City fans then brutally pushed United fans away, and several fell over the seats due to the brutal attack and cracked their heads open, and OT mourned as precious, holy red blood flooded from their wounds.

This lead to City fans being dealt with by all corners of the ground, including the Greater Manchester Police Force, who ended these scumbags justifiably after the evil crimes the away fans had committed. It is believed 1,000 City fans died, but who cares, as their owners can buy replacement fans.

The pure blooded Mancunian fans, mourning the deaths of their fellow fans, Xiao Ling, Hang-Yong Sen and Thaksitha Dilapadee. The game eventually got under way at 7:45pm, with Andre Marriner, traumatised by the events, replaced with the best referee in the world, Howard Webb. During the match Ryan Giggs scored a wonderful opener after not being judged offside by a wonderful male linesman, and Wayne Rooney scored a hattrick through 3 accidental Maradona-esque handballs, and he unveiled his new goal celebration, which cruelly involved shagging the City grandma made famous at the West Brom game at the Council House.

The game finished 8-0, with 2 goals for Berbatov and Chicarito, with Carlos Tevez hung for being a traitor, and Nigel De Jong, Vincent Kompany and Yaya Toure sent off for breathing. Giggs also had a penalty saved by Joe Hart, who was promptly shot on the spot.

In awe of the remarkable achievements of the world's greatest club in wake of their horrific tragedy, the Premier League and UEFA awarded the Premier League and Champions League to United and banished City from all competitions forever.
 
JoeMercer'sWay said:
Murderous City Fans Ruin Manchester's Munich Magic

"Manchester City has been thrown out of the league after several Man United fans died after unprovoked assaults by evil twisted Stockport based "blues".

During the dedicated 1958 minute silence for the heroic victims of the Munich Air Disaster, an air crash which is so much more important than any other air tragedy in human history-inside sources say that one City fan arrived into the stands late because he'd been in the loo and one city fan scratched his nose, behaviour that has been condemned by The FA, Premier League and David Gill alike.

This silence to England's footballing heroes, the famous Busby Babes, along with some other guy who for some strange reason was a City bloke, was disturbed and this upset the loyal Mancunian United fans who made up the 76,000 capacity crowd as they do every game. The United fans near the away end politely enquired as to why City fans had spoilt their selfless act-sponsored by AON, with all memorabilia in the club megastore-and deservedly slapped the shit bags, particularly in they were specky faced blondes. City fans then brutally pushed United fans away, and several fell over the seats due to the brutal attack and cracked their heads open, and OT mourned as precious, holy red blood flooded from their wounds.

This lead to City fans being dealt with by all corners of the ground, including the Greater Manchester Police Force, who ended these scumbags justifiably after the evil crimes the away fans had committed. It is believed 1,000 City fans died, but who cares, as their owners can buy replacement fans.

The pure blooded Mancunian fans, mourning the deaths of their fellow fans, Xiao Ling, Hang-Yong Sen and Thaksitha Dilapadee. The game eventually got under way at 7:45pm, with Andre Marriner, traumatised by the events, replaced with the best referee in the world, Howard Webb. During the match Ryan Giggs scored a wonderful opener after not being judged offside by a wonderful male linesman, and Wayne Rooney scored a hattrick through 3 accidental Maradona-esque handballs, and he unveiled his new goal celebration, which cruelly involved shagging the City grandma made famous at the West Brom game at the Council House.

The game finished 8-0, with 2 goals for Berbatov and Chicarito, with Carlos Tevez hung for being a traitor, and Nigel De Jong, Vincent Kompany and Yaya Toure sent off for breathing. Giggs also had a penalty saved by Joe Hart, who was promptly shot on the spot.

In awe of the remarkable achievements of the world's greatest club in wake of their horrific tragedy, the Premier League and UEFA awarded the Premier League and Champions League to United and banished City from all competitions forever.

Are you the MuEN reporter?

:)
 

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