The absence of irony was truly staggering, writes Dave Kidd for the Sunday People.
Dimitri Seluk, the agent of Yaya Toure, the highest earner at the richest club on the planet, moaned: “Around the stadium, while there are pictures of every player of City commemorating their recent successes, there is not a single one of Yaya. At the Blues club shop you can find shirts to buy with the name of every player, but not Yaya’s.”
All around austerity Britain and war-torn Ivory Coast, hearts bled and the sound of violins reverberated.
Toure earns £220,000 per week. His monthly wage slip would show basic pay of £953,000. His annual P60 says he earns £11.44million. Or £34.32m in the three seasons he has spent at Manchester City.
Yet as Seluk said: “This is not about money – a pat on the back is more important than anything.”
Now, it is well chronicled on this page that satire died long ago in the world of football. That the last vestiges of self-awareness vanished from the Premier League some time in the late 20th century.
Forget that City moved swiftly to deny Seluk’s claims and pointed out that there were, indeed, huge posters of Yaya Toure adorning the Etihad Stadium and that punters were more than entitled to have his name printed on the backs of their replica jerseys, at no little cost.
Forget that, far from being unloved, Yaya’s name had been sung to high heaven by City’s magnificent away support on a filthy night at Southampton last month, during one of the lousiest performances ever given by a team of defending English champions.
'This is not about money – a pat on the back is more important' claims agent
Michael Regan
Even without these facts, Seluk’s comments would have been a prime example of the wonderful unintentional humour which football simply keeps on giving. Seluk had also complained that no City employee accompanied Toure, nor arranged a private jet for him, when he went to pick up his Africa Player of the Year award.
So he is now agitating for a one-way ticket out of the Etihad, threatening the champions with a deadline of this weekend before the giant midfielder buys himself out of his contract.
Seluk’s interview could not possibly have been given without Toure’s permission – and it was carefully planted at a time when the player was away in Africa, on international duty.
It states that Seluk is not merely Toure’s agent but that the player is so close to the Russian that he refers to him as ‘dad’ – and, indeed, had any man negotiated you such eye-popping sums of money, you’d call him any term of endearment he wished for.
To think that many of us were shouted down by City supporters when we claimed that their team was populated by mercenaries.
Although there are some at the Etihad who fondly remember their days standing with inflatable bananas on the Kippax terrace at Maine Road supporting some other Manchester City.
They remember Ian Bishop and Trevor Morley and a 5-1 victory over United in 1989, which was a glorious flash-in-the-pan in an era of comforting, shambling incompetence. They remember a football club which may not have enjoyed silverware but boasted a heart and soul.
Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini reacts during the Barclays Premiership match between Aston Villa and Manchester City at Villa Park Scarf ace: Mancini admits City have rested on their laurels
Roberto Mancini has, to his credit, stated with honesty that many of his players have rested on their laurels this season. That they felt they had made it. That they have not possessed the necessary hunger to retain their title.
Toure is not the worst culprit but his performances have certainly dipped since the monstrous displays that inspired City last term.
And at 29, many players on filthy-rich contracts may find that new deals are difficult to strike.
Mancini may not be around to attempt to wrest that title back from United next term.
But while we may have doubted his man-management skills during the Carlos Tevez debacle last season and his lengthy indulgence of Mario Balotelli, we may look back on Mancini’s tenure and appreciate just how big an achievement it was for the Italian to ever win a title with such a selfish group of players.
Even with Sheikh Mansour’s billions, the Premier League crown was no foregone conclusion – but retaining the title and making an impact in the Champions League have proved beyond Mancini.
The team spirit fostered over decades at Manchester United cannot simply be bought.
World-class talents like Toure, Tevez, David Silva and Sergio Aguero joined City primarily for the money.
And wealth can expand a man’s ego to such an extent that he gives the green light for an agent such as Seluk to publicly embarrass him.
Perhaps poor Toure really will head off into the distance, whistling that anthem to loneliness Blue Moon. All for the want of a bloody great poster or a pat on the back.
And perhaps City will be better off without him.
