Joke thread

[oakiecokie]

Not difficult.

Not wrong there Jimbo.

 

[jimharri]

Not wrong there Jimbo.

Go on then; put up, or shut up.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Parsley?

Yesh, Missh Moneypenny.

It was explained to me but I thought


Nah, can't be.

 

[oakiecokie]

Go on then; put up, or shut up.

??

 

[jimharri]

??

Seeing as my joke didn't pass muster, over to you now. Give us a joke, there's a good fella.

 

[oakiecokie]

Seeing as my joke didn't pass muster, over to you now. Give us a joke, there's a good fella.

To whom did it not pass muster ? Me ? If so then you`ve not understood my compliment to your good self.

 

[hammocity]

A woman went to see a Doctor about the green rash she had on her thighs, the quack asked her if her boyfriend was a Gypsey, she replied “yes, how do you know?” Doc, “tell him his earrings are not real gold”

 

[jimharri]

To whom did it not pass muster ? Me ? If so then you`ve not understood my compliment to your good self.

Thats even funnier than the original joke.

Not difficult.

Not wrong there Jimbo.

Compliment? Thank fuck you weren't having a pop then, eh?

;-)

 

[Kennedy_probably_has]

What is Tyrion Lannister’s favourite 90s sitcom?

 

[aguero93:20]

What is Tyrion Lannister’s favourite 90s sitcom?

Growing pains?

 

[Kennedy_probably_has]

Growing pains?

Hmmm, not sure if that might be better than the actual punchline

 

[dickie davies]

Fuck me ragged, I've had to ask the wife to explain and she has absolutely no sense of humour.

Try Abbacabs.

Thank your Mrs from me as I hadn't a scooby

 

[FlemishDuck]

Man comes in with the doctor, pulls down his pants to show the doctor one of his balls went completly blue
Doctor: myeah, we will need to amputate that ball
Man comes again the next week, pulls down his pants, this time its his other ball that went completly blue
Doctor: myeah i'm sorry but we will need to amputate the other ball too
Man comes back again a week later, this time the whole area around his privates went blue, man asks doctor "now what, what could this be"?
Doctor: AH, now i get it!
man: ah?
doctor: it's youre jeans thats giving off

 

[Barcon]

Your.

 

[aguero93:20]

Your.

Sentences can't contain a possessive adjective and nothing else

 

[Barcon]

Sentences can't contain a possessive adjective and nothing else

Tit.

 

[dickie davies]

Tit.

His tit went blue?

 

[Sir peace frog]

I asked a fella in the pub, "Does Sean Connery like herbs?"

He replied, "Yes, but only partially."







Anyone got the number for a reliable taxi firm?

you have to say it out loud in your best Sean Connery accent ,but a very witty try, well done :)

 

[RadcliffeRick]

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope

 

[BackofJeanette]

Notice to whoever's stole my trainers and my fluorescent vest.


You can run, but you can't hide!