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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
strongbowholic said:All hail the genius that is foetus!!
Brilliant!
Bloody love him. He's posted some corkers.
TangerineSteve17
Well-Known Member
I've just had a disappointing incestual orgasm.
Bit of an auntie-climax.
I fell off my 50ft triple extension ladder today...luckily I was only on the first step.
Bit of an auntie-climax.
I fell off my 50ft triple extension ladder today...luckily I was only on the first step.
foetus
Well-Known Member
Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.
"Certainly madam", he replied courteously.
"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.
"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?"
Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary.
"Certainly madam," he replied.
"And may I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely.
The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs please," Mary mused.
After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night. The night passed uneventfully, and next morning, Mary came down early to check out.
The same guy was still on the desk. "Morning madam...sleep well?"
"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.
"Food to your liking?"
"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs ....they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.
"Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.
"Ok I will...thanks!" replied Mary, who then checked out, paused awhile, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.
Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written. She wrote:
"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!!!!"
"Certainly madam", he replied courteously.
"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.
"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?"
Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary.
"Certainly madam," he replied.
"And may I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely.
The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs please," Mary mused.
After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night. The night passed uneventfully, and next morning, Mary came down early to check out.
The same guy was still on the desk. "Morning madam...sleep well?"
"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.
"Food to your liking?"
"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs ....they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.
"Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.
"Ok I will...thanks!" replied Mary, who then checked out, paused awhile, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.
Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written. She wrote:
"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!!!!"
crazyg
Well-Known Member
Nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!foetus said:Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.
"Certainly madam", he replied courteously.
"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.
"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?"
Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary.
"Certainly madam," he replied.
"And may I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely.
The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs please," Mary mused.
After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night. The night passed uneventfully, and next morning, Mary came down early to check out.
The same guy was still on the desk. "Morning madam...sleep well?"
"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.
"Food to your liking?"
"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs ....they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.
"Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.
"Ok I will...thanks!" replied Mary, who then checked out, paused awhile, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.
Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written. She wrote:
"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!!!!"
But I like it.
hackneyslim
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 24 Jul 2008
- Messages
- 1,730
Auschwitz - King of Biers.
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
crazyg said:Nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!foetus said:Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.
"Certainly madam", he replied courteously.
"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.
"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?"
Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary.
"Certainly madam," he replied.
"And may I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely.
The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs please," Mary mused.
After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night. The night passed uneventfully, and next morning, Mary came down early to check out.
The same guy was still on the desk. "Morning madam...sleep well?"
"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.
"Food to your liking?"
"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs ....they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.
"Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.
"Ok I will...thanks!" replied Mary, who then checked out, paused awhile, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.
Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written. She wrote:
"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!!!!"
But I like it.
Not sure about anyone else on here but I sort of saw that coming about line 3
TangerineSteve17
Well-Known Member
I studied abroad for some time...my girlfriend slapped me and called me a pervert.
I was in the Disney store with my mate, He picked up a cartoon mouse toy and stuffed it inside his jacket.... then he left without paying. I thought that's taking the Mickey.....
I was in the Disney store with my mate, He picked up a cartoon mouse toy and stuffed it inside his jacket.... then he left without paying. I thought that's taking the Mickey.....
crazyg said:I heard he worked it out with logs.Gelsons Dad said:Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil and paper!
I heard ............it first in 1967, I was 9 !
Cellarite
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 12 Jan 2010
- Messages
- 25,986
- Team supported
- Manchester City
corky1970 said:mods can you delete the last 10 pages of utter shite
Quick, someone call him a ginger **** and mention his maroon trousers.