It feels a bit like that long delayed bus is finally arriving and you still have the ticket. But you've already decided not to wait and jumped on a train to where you are heading instead.
Get off and rush back hoping you can still make it, maybe even save money in the process, or enjoy the ride and accept it wasn't meant to be?
I'd absolutely love it if he came. And a big part of me still thinks there is plenty of time and a damn good chance now. But a part of me also thinks it is gone, and I'm a-ok with that.