Joke thread

[Bill Walker]

 

[Fred_Quimby]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[blueish swede]

Bartender says "Hey, where did you get that?"

The PARROT says "Mordor... there's loads of them"

The twist is that it's the PARROT who has the ORC, not the Orc that has the Parrot.

It is a very funny joke. Much famous. Very laugh.

Rag walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder.
The barman says "where did you get that?"
The frog says "Well it started as a zit on my bum"

 

[nw42]

 

[blue44]

 

[lefty goldblatt]

 

[Blue Mist]

View attachment 28955

Pigeon post late as usual I see.

 

[Bill Walker]

Pigeon post late as usual I see.

I posted that on monday, not my fault it took 5 days to get there

 

[hammocity]

I have it on good authority

We have this show on in the afternoons here in Australia and, is it just me, or does the host hug the contestants wayyy too much (especially the attractive girls).
Very cringeworthy and creepy

I noticed that on pre covid shows, doesn’t happen now. Some contestants really annoy me when they say “Ben” at the end of every conversation/question, as though they they know the perverted fucker.

 

[Deleted member 77198]

View attachment 28959

This bloke supposedly requests that anyone who is invited as a guest or joins his entourage at any events, that they don’t look him in the eye. (Not a joke!)

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

I have it on good authority

I noticed that on pre covid shows, doesn’t happen now. Some contestants really annoy me when they say “Ben” at the end of every conversation/question, as though they they know the perverted fucker.

He’s a weird fucker. I bet he can’t believe he’s been able to make millions off pouring salt off his elbow.

 

[Blue Mist]

View attachment 28817

This was posted Tuesday.....I am still laughing at this one brilliant

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I walked in the bedroom to find my wife dead in bed. Looking at her lifeless there, I decided to have one last go. Right in the middle she opened her eyes and shouted, "Boo!" Honestly some people are sick in the head!

 

[AlexWilliamsGloves]

Beach boys walk into a bar...
"Round?"
"Round."
"Get a round."
"I'll get a round."

 

[Bill Walker]

Bought a single today called.. The Noise Wasps Make
Took it back and told the assistant that sounds nothing like wasps ...She said you've been playing the Bee side !

 

[Bill Walker]

This was posted Tuesday.....I am still laughing at this one brilliant

So you've been laughing for four days ?

 

[BlueMoonAcrossThePond]

@BlueMoonAcrossThePond er, I still don't get your lovely joke.

Learn to Google-foo... I don't mean this as an insult at all - but if you don't understand something, type the relevant text into your favorite search engine and see what comes up.