Thank you mate, nice of you to take the trouble to reply, means a lot to me.
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Dementia
- Thread starter Blue Floyd
- Start date
Bluesince1979
Well-Known Member
My 93 year old nanna has it and is in a care home.
Thankfully she still recognises us. May not recall names instantly but our faces are familiar.
Everything is all over the shop, thinks she still works, thinks her mum and dad are still alive, thinks shes been away for weekends. But all that kinda makes me happy. Im glad she thinks shes been in llandudno all weekend rather than stuck in the home. Heart breaking reading how some loved ones are, feel for you blues
weve lost who she once was all the same
Thankfully she still recognises us. May not recall names instantly but our faces are familiar.
Everything is all over the shop, thinks she still works, thinks her mum and dad are still alive, thinks shes been away for weekends. But all that kinda makes me happy. Im glad she thinks shes been in llandudno all weekend rather than stuck in the home. Heart breaking reading how some loved ones are, feel for you blues
weve lost who she once was all the same
Saddleworth2
Well-Known Member
I lost mum to vascular dementia last year. She had it about 12 years and spent the last four in a fantastic council run care home. Her long term memory was the last to go so we would talk about old photos in a memory book. As someone else mentioned music is a wonderful therapy as highlighted by Vicky McClure in her recent documentary. We were fortunate in that the level of social care mum received when she was at home was good and as I said the care she received at the care home was beyond words.
The night she died we were at her bedside with a couple of the care assistants and they looked after her like she was their own mum. I will forever be grateful that they helped ease her way and make her happy in her last years.
It’s hard to give advice to anyone who’s relatives are suffering but if I did it would be to fight very hard for the right care. I involved our local MP on a number of occasions to ensure mum got into the care home we had chosen for her. Care homes vary enormously in standard so visit loads until you find the right one then dug your heels in. God bless those who suffer or care for.
The night she died we were at her bedside with a couple of the care assistants and they looked after her like she was their own mum. I will forever be grateful that they helped ease her way and make her happy in her last years.
It’s hard to give advice to anyone who’s relatives are suffering but if I did it would be to fight very hard for the right care. I involved our local MP on a number of occasions to ensure mum got into the care home we had chosen for her. Care homes vary enormously in standard so visit loads until you find the right one then dug your heels in. God bless those who suffer or care for.
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
Haha, my mum was the same. The amount of countries my mum's been to would put both Alan Whicker and Judith Chalmers to shame and the hilarious thing is she could tell convincing stoies about her time there....she hadn't been there. We all laughed once she started, usually bought on by an answer on a quiz show. She's been there in her own mind and that was really all that mattered.My 93 year old nanna has it and is in a care home.
Thankfully she still recognises us. May not recall names instantly but our faces are familiar.
Everything is all over the shop, thinks she still works, thinks her mum and dad are still alive, thinks shes been away for weekends. But all that kinda makes me happy. Im glad she thinks shes been in llandudno all weekend rather than stuck in the home. Heart breaking reading how some loved ones are, feel for you blues
weve lost who she once was all the same
aguero93:20
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My stepmother's father has vascular dementia, her mother has Alzheimer's, it can be an awful strain on the family at times but we all try our best to just be kind to them and care for them because we love them, it can be hard but chin up blue.
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
It will get to a stage whereby evrything or most will have to be turned off or very closely monitored.
We had to turn mums gas off as she would put wood and coal on the gas fire, she was old school....she would put things in the microwave and wander off and forget. The amount of times the fire brigade was called round due to smoke alarms going off...3 times in one week. While all this was going on, flashing lights etc she would be putting the kettle on and ferrying cups of tea out to the firemen, it was almost a carnival atmosphere some nights and she was totally oblivious as to what was going on, she was on their christmas card list and we were on speed dial. She wandered in to next doors one day, opened the patio doors and sat down just as John was getting out of the shower and demanded to know what a naked man was doing in her house. We kept getting phone calls from the agency that monitored her panic button that she wore around her neck, we hadn't seen it for months. 3 weeks later we were tidying up the garden and there it was, tied around the patio umbrella and every time it rained it set it off. We were fortunate as we lived 60 seconds away and could deal with these little episodes and eventually came to expect the unexpected, she even made the back page of the local paper, obviously a quiet night on the news desk and denied anything happened even when she'd read it. Tough but looking back, fun times in a wierd kind of way, you just have to roll with it.
We had to turn mums gas off as she would put wood and coal on the gas fire, she was old school....she would put things in the microwave and wander off and forget. The amount of times the fire brigade was called round due to smoke alarms going off...3 times in one week. While all this was going on, flashing lights etc she would be putting the kettle on and ferrying cups of tea out to the firemen, it was almost a carnival atmosphere some nights and she was totally oblivious as to what was going on, she was on their christmas card list and we were on speed dial. She wandered in to next doors one day, opened the patio doors and sat down just as John was getting out of the shower and demanded to know what a naked man was doing in her house. We kept getting phone calls from the agency that monitored her panic button that she wore around her neck, we hadn't seen it for months. 3 weeks later we were tidying up the garden and there it was, tied around the patio umbrella and every time it rained it set it off. We were fortunate as we lived 60 seconds away and could deal with these little episodes and eventually came to expect the unexpected, she even made the back page of the local paper, obviously a quiet night on the news desk and denied anything happened even when she'd read it. Tough but looking back, fun times in a wierd kind of way, you just have to roll with it.
i lost my partner last October after caring for her for 7 years,early onset dementia in her 50s,it is a cruel disease,she fought it bravely and with dignity.As you know its a tough job,try to take some time out,be kind to yourself,use as much family support as you can,and continue to use this forum to reach out.
mexico1970
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Anyone managing a family member who has dementia has my utmost respect and admiration.
Bluesince1979
Well-Known Member
Exactly. I love it. Tells you how shes knackered as been teaching all day, the heads useless and she runs that schoolHaha, my mum was the same. The amount of countries my mum's been to would put both Alan Whicker and Judith Chalmers to shame and the hilarious thing is she could tell convincing stoies about her time there....she hadn't been there. We all laughed once she started, usually bought on by an answer on a quiz show. She's been there in her own mind and that was really all that mattered.
Bluesince1979
Well-Known Member
Mate that is heart breaking at so youngi lost my partner last October after caring for her for 7 years,early onset dementia in her 50s,it is a cruel disease,she fought it bravely and with dignity.As you know its a tough job,try to take some time out,be kind to yourself,use as much family support as you can,and continue to use this forum to reach out.
metalblue
Well-Known Member
I think now is the time everyone turns up to their MP's surgery - regardless of party - and just asks " what are you going to do " - about dementia - ,MD - cancer - NHS - the list is endless just ask them over and over again and make them realise their jobs are now on the line over what has been allowed to happen - don't forget you may also not be able to travel by train to spend those final hours with someone and you may not be able to send your condolence cards all because of the actions of a Conservative Govt but we need to prep its replacement so they know that just beating them is not a fix
Not the thread for this
Rammy Blue
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Me and my brother are just at the early stages of our dementia journey with our mum, she’s still in denial, which we were for a while too, but have at least got her to the doctors and she’s now had a scan and the specialist dementia team have been round to her house to see mum and her partner.
It all started from the usual “not being able to find the words“ about 2 years ago, and now she just doesn’t retain anything you tell her, it was her birthday yesterday and I phoned to say I would come round at 12 and reiterated it twice yet when I got there they were driving off to her friends and I got the “you didn’t say you were coming“ line.
She has stock questions she asks about me and the grandkids but she doesn’t compute and retain the answers so you then get the same questions 5 minutes later, and then the next time we speak it’s the same questions.
It’s awful knowing it’s only going to get worse.
It all started from the usual “not being able to find the words“ about 2 years ago, and now she just doesn’t retain anything you tell her, it was her birthday yesterday and I phoned to say I would come round at 12 and reiterated it twice yet when I got there they were driving off to her friends and I got the “you didn’t say you were coming“ line.
She has stock questions she asks about me and the grandkids but she doesn’t compute and retain the answers so you then get the same questions 5 minutes later, and then the next time we speak it’s the same questions.
It’s awful knowing it’s only going to get worse.
Marklr
Well-Known Member
All the best, mate. It's good you have your brother with you. Stay strong, mate. Heartbreaking, I know. I'm sure you'll get a lot of good advice and support on here from Blues that have been through similar.Me and my brother are just at the early stages of our dementia journey with our mum, she’s still in denial, which we were for a while too, but have at least got her to the doctors and she’s now had a scan and the specialist dementia team have been round to her house to see mum and her partner.
It all started from the usual “not being able to find the words“ about 2 years ago, and now she just doesn’t retain anything you tell her, it was her birthday yesterday and I phoned to say I would come round at 12 and reiterated it twice yet when I got there they were driving off to her friends and I got the “you didn’t say you were coming“ line.
She has stock questions she asks about me and the grandkids but she doesn’t compute and retain the answers so you then get the same questions 5 minutes later, and then the next time we speak it’s the same questions.
It’s awful knowing it’s only going to get worse.
ali benarbia's studs
Well-Known Member
what ya talking about?Not the thread for this
metalblue
Well-Known Member
what ya talking about?
Politics. It’s not the type of thread to make political points
Bigg Bigg Blue
Well-Known Member
My mum was starting with Parkinson's and was worried sick about it, then out of the blue she had 4 mini strokes and that was it, she was never the same again.
She lost everything in a matter of days and then I had 2 years of seeing her every day and her not having a clue who I was.
It's horrible to see and at the end death was a release for her and me.
Still miss her now.
She lost everything in a matter of days and then I had 2 years of seeing her every day and her not having a clue who I was.
It's horrible to see and at the end death was a release for her and me.
Still miss her now.
My partner's mum went into care home start of the year with Parkinson's and dementia. Some days she's great, yesterday couldn't remember anything, wasn't even sure if she'd eaten. I don't see my own sister very often. Saw her 2 weeks ago and her forgetfulness (for want of better phrase) was staggering. Arranged to take her to seaside for lunch, walk along prom etc. Even texted her the time and place to meet. She turned up 30 minutes early then forgot where we were going. It's been a tradition we do that when I visit for last 20 years (usually 2 or 3 times a year). Loads of other the instances over course of 3 day visit. Lives on her own and I'm worried she'll put cooker or iron on and forget. Turning 60 soon and my brother says he's been asking her to get gp appointment for while now but she refuses. Breaking my heart
Bigg Bigg Blue
Well-Known Member
Feel for you mate.My partner's mum went into care home start of the year with Parkinson's and dementia. Some days she's great, yesterday couldn't remember anything, wasn't even sure if she'd eaten. I don't see my own sister very often. Saw her 2 weeks ago and her forgetfulness (for want of better phrase) was staggering. Arranged to take her to seaside for lunch, walk along prom etc. Even texted her the time and place to meet. She turned up 30 minutes early then forgot where we were going. It's been a tradition we do that when I visit for last 20 years (usually 2 or 3 times a year). Loads of other the instances over course of 3 day visit. Lives on her own and I'm worried she'll put cooker or iron on and forget. Turning 60 soon and my brother says he's been asking her to get gp appointment for while now but she refuses. Breaking my heart
aguero93:20
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So sorry for you blue, all the love in the world for you.Me and my brother are just at the early stages of our dementia journey with our mum, she’s still in denial, which we were for a while too, but have at least got her to the doctors and she’s now had a scan and the specialist dementia team have been round to her house to see mum and her partner.
It all started from the usual “not being able to find the words“ about 2 years ago, and now she just doesn’t retain anything you tell her, it was her birthday yesterday and I phoned to say I would come round at 12 and reiterated it twice yet when I got there they were driving off to her friends and I got the “you didn’t say you were coming“ line.
She has stock questions she asks about me and the grandkids but she doesn’t compute and retain the answers so you then get the same questions 5 minutes later, and then the next time we speak it’s the same questions.
It’s awful knowing it’s only going to get worse.
My thoughts are with you all.
I've been through this with my grandad's brother, my (great) uncle John.
A very fit man, worked hard all his life as a road worker.
Even when he retired he'd walk the dog 8-10 miles a day, rain or shine.
Then out of the blue It all started with a stroke, which the doctors seem to think brought on the dementia.
The dementia took hold rather quickly, ending with him going into a home after he nearly burned down the house after forgetting he'd put the chip pan on.
If it hadn't been for my grandad the house would have definitely gone up.
At first it wasn't too bad visiting him, he'd forget little bits and pieces but he'd still be his loveable funny self.
That soon changed, it started with him forgetting our names, then quickly that confused look cos he had absolutely no idea who we were.
Heartbreaking.
Then he got cancer, poor bloke couldn't catch a break.
Then we all finally get the inevitable phone call "you need to get to the hospital now he's not got long"
This is where things got a little weird.
We get there and he can barely breathe, barely talk, still had no idea who we were.
My mum is sat holding his hand, talking to him and telling us what he's saying as we're all stood at the bottom area of the bed and cannot hear him cos he can barely speak.
Then it was like someone flicked a switch, his breathing returned to normal, he started speaking perfectly and his memory came back, all of it.
We spent about half talking, saying our goodbyes and then he peacefully passed away.
It was weird, beautiful and sad all at the same time.
To this day none of us can explain what happened in that hospital room, but we're glad it did.
I've been through this with my grandad's brother, my (great) uncle John.
A very fit man, worked hard all his life as a road worker.
Even when he retired he'd walk the dog 8-10 miles a day, rain or shine.
Then out of the blue It all started with a stroke, which the doctors seem to think brought on the dementia.
The dementia took hold rather quickly, ending with him going into a home after he nearly burned down the house after forgetting he'd put the chip pan on.
If it hadn't been for my grandad the house would have definitely gone up.
At first it wasn't too bad visiting him, he'd forget little bits and pieces but he'd still be his loveable funny self.
That soon changed, it started with him forgetting our names, then quickly that confused look cos he had absolutely no idea who we were.
Heartbreaking.
Then he got cancer, poor bloke couldn't catch a break.
Then we all finally get the inevitable phone call "you need to get to the hospital now he's not got long"
This is where things got a little weird.
We get there and he can barely breathe, barely talk, still had no idea who we were.
My mum is sat holding his hand, talking to him and telling us what he's saying as we're all stood at the bottom area of the bed and cannot hear him cos he can barely speak.
Then it was like someone flicked a switch, his breathing returned to normal, he started speaking perfectly and his memory came back, all of it.
We spent about half talking, saying our goodbyes and then he peacefully passed away.
It was weird, beautiful and sad all at the same time.
To this day none of us can explain what happened in that hospital room, but we're glad it did.