My year on Sertraline.

[dronefromsector7G]

Never been on it. Started on Prozac then went on Citalopram, now been on Escitalopram for a couple of years for general anxiety. Seems to work ok but scared to come off it now

 

[manimanc]

Thanks for sharing mate.

I will be a year on 100mg Sertraline later this month, it took me years to bite the bullet.

The first few weeks are pretty brutal mate, I had blurred vision and hands were shaking, it can even make your anxiety worse in the beginning.

Please stick with it for at least eight weeks, as that is the acknowledged amount of time to see what is effective.

I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder a few years back but a number of setbacks and then losing my business during Covid was the final straw.

My doctor was brilliant and said they would even me out and no longer have the wild extremes of me being too high or too low.

I check in every six weeks when I need a new prescription. He also gave me beta blockers when the anxiety was so bad in the early stages of taking Setraline.

A year on, I still have some of the same work/financial issues in my life, but the tablets don't let me ruminate on stuff and I don't sweat things like I used to.

It's changed me as a husband and a father. I'm a better person for being around and although I miss not caring as much about things, it is very difficult to get overly emotional about anything, to the point I can't cry or stew about a big game or event.

It has also stopped the cycle of eating crap because I felt crap about myself, so have lost four stone in last six month and down to 10.5stone, as light as I was as a 16-year-old.

I know Sertraline has many side effects but the pros outweigh the cons for me, and scared to try other meds and see if something else works better.

I will stay on these indefinitely, because it is no hardship and has given me my life back.

Drink plenty of water, cut out the sugar and good luck, you have made a very brave step and I admire anyone for taking their mental health in hand.

I was dying inside and dead behind the eyes, but Sertraline has lifted my fog.

If one person reads your post and draws inspiration from it and finds the courage to move forward then that's been a game changer.

Takes courage to spill your personal feelings and private stuff on here. You've been positive in the most horrendous of circumstances and came through the other side with your head held high and your arse intact.

Just want to say well done mate and keep fighting the fight and we're all blues brothers on here and we're all here if you need to pm people and let off steam or simply just talk.

 

[tolmie's hairdoo]

Blimey 10.5 stone! well done, how tall are you bud?

Five nine.

 

[tolmie's hairdoo]

If one person reads your post and draws inspiration from it and finds the courage to move forward then that's been a game changer.

Takes courage to spill your personal feelings and private stuff on here. You've been positive in the most horrendous of circumstances and came through the other side with your head held high and your arse intact.

Just want to say well done mate and keep fighting the fight and we're all blues brothers on here and we're all here if you need to pm people and let off steam or simply just talk.

That's very kind of you, mate.

Same offer to you and others, hit me up on PMs if anyone wants more info or just to talk.

Just to add, I also did CBT. It certainly helps to talk to someone and sure it can work for many, but I needed the extra help with meds because of how my body and head reacts to stress and anxiety.

If you have had fight or flight for many years, sometimes it just exhausts you out.

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Just to add, I also did CBT. It certainly helps to talk to someone and sure it can work for many, but I needed the extra help with meds because of how my body and head reacts to stress and anxiety.

If you have had fight or flight for many years, sometimes it just exhausts you out.

This is very true and its pretty much where I am now. Same with the part on wanting to try meds after years of refusing and trying talk based therapies.....they seem to work at the time but in the heat of the moment the lessons are no use. It all kind of clicked in my head the other day when my boss became frustrated and asked why I wasn't understanding something (we actually discovered that I had everything I needed to complete a job but my head was too peppered to realise)....I said that stress blinds me, at which point, the reply was that this was just a standard request and not stress.....which on paper is true, but of course, not the way I perceived it.


Have appreciated everyone's contributions on this today.

 

[oldhamblue]

My niece's lad also has selective mutism, and can go absolutely ballistic if his regular routine is disrupted in any way. He's only ever been clinically assessed once, many years ago. He's definitely on the Autism spectrum. He's in a school for difficult children but hates going and kicks off every morning.

I'd just like to ask the OP, how his daughter is and what kind of assistance is out there?

Respect to all those who have contributed to this thread

 

[crublue1]

Hi folks.
Had a bit of a mad year and half. Our daughter has ASD (Asperger's) - diagnosed about a year after she began seeing a psychologist at CAHMS which started around the time she left primary school. The last 6 months of her primary school is when she started falling apart (we always suspected she was a little 'demanding/hard work' growing up but nothing more at the time. Those 6 months were a struggle to get her into school.
Initially she went in for around 2 weeks at her new High School but in the end it ended up being me literally physically dragging her in (she'd be in a flood of tears). That couldn't go on...to cut a long story short she was eventually diagnosed with ASD (high functioning Asperger's) and missed at least a year of school. She's now in a special small hospital school (Leo Kelly in Rusholme) and is currently just about making half days (but misses many lessons...but she's still top of the class without doing barely any lessons). She's a selective mute there (it's odd when I'm sometimes there with her). At home she's like Richard Pryor (with the language to match...which is had to be let of as that's her way of letting of steam). She's had suicidal ideations and is also on 150mg of Sertraline (which is being reviewed as I really don't think it's working). She can be either curled up in a depressing ball or calling out 'motherfuckers'...she has razor sharp wit - v bright. She's also having trouble with her personal hygiene - it's yet another fight to get her to shower (she sometimes has that aroma you'd drastically avoid if it was on a bus/shop. I also believe she's manipulating her mother (more of that in a minute)...she can't bring herself to tell her off...and of course I'm the bad cop...it's all carrot for her - really don't think this is helping.
I often think a good weekend with 'the SAS' would help rather than the overtly 'walking on rice paper' approach...but perhaps I'm being old fashioned.

Around 18 months ago I had a contact from an adoption agency (I was adopted as a baby but I was never inclined to go and source them out). My adoptive father died when I was 11 but my adoptive mother is still going strong at 78.
This time the contact seemed a little more 'relentless' (in the nicest possible way) so I decided to go ahead and speak with the agency. I eventually ended up speaking to a woman who works in the agency (this is in Nottingham) and she brought through the documents. The birth mother had died a few months earlier (she apparently could never face it up to it all) but the birth father wanted to get in touch and it turns out I had two brothers (both from the same parents - so full brothers - one older, one younger - who they actually kept as they eventually married). As it happens, they've quickly become firm friends and we message each other almost every day...very, very similar...

That was a bit of a headfuck...a reboot of my life in some ways. Adding the difficulties with my daughter it was an...interesting, testing time.
Then last Christmas (2017) my parter and I separated after 20 years (we have three children). We never married so no divorce issues...probably clues in the fact we never did tie the knot.
This one hit me like a rock falling on my head. NYE (when it happened...I kind of forced her hand as it was going to be discussed in the new year. Strange NYE...kind of a mix of numbness and WTF...
The next few days were terrible however and I ended up having a complete mental breakdown. I'd say I was inches away from being sectioned...I've had down moments before but nothing on this scale - quite difficult to explain unless you've been through it (I'd say it hit me more than my dad's death when I was young).
I'd been a little depressed for a couple of years in all honesty...I didn't see it as depression (I tend to have a sunny out look when I'm out and about) but it transpired later on it was some personal anxiety issues, life plan issues...the whole lot really (in my mid 40's). I had a bit of CBT (the first fall down a year or two before the split) and that helped, but it's pretty clear it was environmental issues/relationship issues that were the ultimate cause.

A few days into January last year, my (now) ex drove me to the doctors (I was still numb...not particularly able to speak well) and I was immediately prescribed Sertraline (I'd previously turned this away a year or so - thinking I could just run more, and remain heathy...stubbornness over meds I guess). I had to move back to my mothers for a while...just hid away from everybody...absolutely torrid time. Fortunately I still have good friends down there, one (old best mates really) still lives near my mother. I'd pop round every evening and we'd chat and go running...I was having suicidal ideations at this stage. I'd lost a rack of weight and whilst not self harming, my face was sometimes bruised...I guess that's where 'beating yourself up' comes from. Only took one pic during that stage (on a webcam chat to my middle daughter)...christ...not good.
I'd live at my mother's in the week then eventually pop up to see the children in Manchester at the weekends...I missed them terribly. I was also 'theoretically' homeless and visited the CAB at one stage to see what options I had...I could barely function never mind work.
Eventually I returned (as a guest really) to the family home. No chance the family were moving out...and I wouldn't want them to. Also transpires my ex probably had an affair just before we separated (online, long distance but eventually met). Living back in the family home (a home I'd practically rebuilt//refurbed/grand designed the interiors) I was privy to some details which almost finished me off (she was dating again - the affair guy's wife - a guy 15 years older than her - had found out about it...I actually felt really sorry for her rather than me). I kept hoping...dreaming we'd get back together...meanwhile she's away at the weekends with new dates/evenings out. I guess she was getting a lot out of her system...I understand that now. One time when she set out on a date, I nearly puked up (all odd emotions).

My doc advised me that by 6 months on sertaline (lowest dose of 50mg) I'd feel the best I could on them...and lo and behold, I felt better about myself in a long time.
Around this time I was getting back to myself...in fact over time I was feeling better than I'd ever felt in my life. Instead of hitting the drink and pushing myself further down, the weeks after the split I stopped drinking (I didn't actually have a drink for 6 months from Jan to June...then I'd have the occasional beer/wine) started eating far healthier (lots of fruit and veg) and stepped up my running. I ran one night back in Nottingham that started off as a 5k and I carried on running till I did a half marathon...on a cold, wet dark night in February.

Eventually I started to 'shop online' for potential dates (the usual app) and got talking to a few. This was an amazing boost to my ego in all fairness. I met some wonderful people...helped sooth over a lot of pain. Part of the trouble with Sertaline is that it can lower the sex drive (mines quite high in all fairness...) and stalls ejaculation (I'd be yanking it down to a bloody stump...talking 30 mins+).
This obviously doens't translate well when one is with a new date...I never explained why...perhaps I should've done.

Today...one year on I'm about to book in with my doctor who advised returning in a year to discuss my withdrawal from Sertaline. I'm not going to miss the extreme tiredness and dizziness I experience with this tablets (and I can't really drink much alcohol on them). However, I'm a completely different person as of today. My confidence is at an all time high (historically low...more of an introvert than extrovert - suffered pretty badly with shyness growing up). I'm amazed at this new me. My 'OCD/Perfectionist/Control Freak' has subsided a bit and will happily chat away to anyone I bump into on the street (we got a dog for our daughter's Autism...but it's helped me too...despite being someone who would never as much as stroke a bloody dog!).
My neat freak nature has returned a little (though in fairness, my ex is the complete antithesis of domesticated...wipe your feet on the way out - hence a lot of friction over the years). I've met some wonderful women (and meeting somebody this week as it happens).

I guess the point of this was to find out what the long term effects are. I'm not worried I'm going to fall low when I eventually extract myself from the meds. but more this 'new me' disappears. I'm hazarding a guess that all I've been through has actually empowered me as a person...and I can release myself from the crutch of the tablets (I've tried researching whether the brain can 'learn' a form of behaviour from them but can find little anecdotal evidence to support this. I'll probably be seeing my doc this week to start the withdrawal (I have lots of questions).
I'm still running (although I have a labral tear in my hip - I have to do lots of core training every day at home to support this) eating healthy and may join a gym.

Apologies...that's quite some text above - but thanks for listening to the end...good to get this stuff off your chest.
Cheers.

That's the best post I've ever read on here, your bravery and honestly is admirable.
Respect for posting, and it's certainly inspired me to have a little review of my own circumstances, but more importantly, it's encouraged others to share feelings and thoughts that would otherwise remain in a dark space.
I know this thread will help others. Because it's helping me, and I'm not alone it seems.
Thank you.

 

[johnnytapia]

22 years on Venlafaxin.
Some days are better than others

 

[Holcombe bloo]

Five nine.

Good effort. Same as me I’m hammering it in the gym slim build and still nearly 12 stone!

 

[cookster]

people need to be kind to themselves

Best advice anyone can take.
I've found as I've got older I tended to care less about myself, with Children and Grandchildren now, its easy to put them first and just soldier on carrying the weight of everyone else.

Luckily, for me I've not needed Meds so far, but now I have a strict regime where I make time to do things that make me feel happy and don't feel guilty about it, lifes too short.

Good luck to all those struggling, sometimes you've got to put yourself first.

 

[tolmie's hairdoo]

This is very true and its pretty much where I am now. Same with the part on wanting to try meds after years of refusing and trying talk based therapies.....they seem to work at the time but in the heat of the moment the lessons are no use. It all kind of clicked in my head the other day when my boss became frustrated and asked why I wasn't understanding something (we actually discovered that I had everything I needed to complete a job but my head was too peppered to realise)....I said that stress blinds me, at which point, the reply was that this was just a standard request and not stress.....which on paper is true, but of course, not the way I perceived it.


Have appreciated everyone's contributions on this today.

Your boss is an idiot. Zero empathy and clearly someone who needs to show more understanding how people react and perceive in different ways.

 

[tolmie's hairdoo]

Good effort. Same as me I’m hammering it in the gym slim build and still nearly 12 stone!

We should be 12-stone for the height but I haven't touched sugar for six months and that has torched me. Not been in a gym, just the fresh outdoors and my running.

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Your boss is an idiot. Zero empathy and clearly someone who needs to show more understanding how people react and perceive in different ways.

And thats why I'm highly unlikely to be sharing any of this with them, even though I thought it might be useful to offer an explanation as to why I've been fucking things up. "This is worse than I thought" were the words said to me when it became obvious I'd messed up. Within the hour I was spewing and shaking.

 

[tolmie's hairdoo]

And thats why I'm highly unlikely to be sharing any of this with them, even though I thought it might be useful to offer an explanation as to why I've been fucking things up. "This is worse than I thought" were the words said to me when it became obvious I'd messed up. Within the hour I was spewing and shaking.

Mate, you must go to your doctor and get a sicknote.

Tell them exactly this and give yourself some time to get better and sort an exit plan.

Give it to your HR officer/department if you have one?

I've been in your shoes and didn't have anyone to inform or approach, which is ridiculous when I think back now.

I had phones thrown at my head in a newspaper office and wasn't even old enough to vote, just took it.

Things will only gets worse unless you draw a dividing line in the sand and put some protective walls around you.

You recognise the signs which is great you are on the right path, but now you need to put yourself first.

I feel a bit of a hypocrite because I have lived with chronic stress and anxiety for 25 years, and was told all of the above and just ignored it and carried on until I broke.

You can get your sicknote extended every month and you will get the financial protection you likely need until which time you let the tablets do their thing?

Brain fog and constant fighting against your body is now manifesting itself with the spewing up.

Fuck your boss (not literally) but you deserve the best version of yourself and to get yourself right.

PM me anytime.

Best of luck.

 

[TFC]

This thread is a heartwarming read (from the standpoint of its great to see people ask for help). I hate to see people suffering.

I've been around depression and metal illness pretty much my entire life without personally suffering....if I ever did, having seen what I've seen, I would be at the docs in a heartbeat.

 

[Utter bobbins]

Mate, you must go to your doctor and get a sicknote.

Tell them exactly this and give yourself some time to get better and sort an exit plan.

Give it to your HR officer/department if you have one?

I've been in your shoes and didn't have anyone to inform or approach, which is ridiculous when I think back now.

I had phones thrown at my head in a newspaper office and wasn't even old enough to vote, just took it.

Things will only gets worse unless you draw a dividing line in the sand and put some protective walls around you.

You recognise the signs which is great you are on the right path, but now you need to put yourself first.

I feel a bit of a hypocrite because I have lived with chronic stress and anxiety for 25 years, and was told all of the above and just ignored it and carried on until I broke.

You can get your sicknote extended every month and you will get the financial protection you likely need until which time you let the tablets do their thing?

Brain fog and constant fighting against your body is now manifesting itself with the spewing up.

Fuck your boss (not literally) but you deserve the best version of yourself and to get yourself right.

PM me anytime.

Best of luck.

Absolutely spot on I’m on my 3rd sick note now you need time to sort yourself out I laid off for to long I’m in the process of looking for a new job

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Whilst a sicknote is a nice idea, I can't financially burden the mrs again. She already carried me through my last meltdown and that time off was meant to be about rediscovering myself, I probably didn't use the time as effectively as I could have. I did some basic IT certifications in an online class and the aim was to try and transition into a non office based role eventually but of course, I've ended up lost in the mire again and can't see the woods for the trees. I know these roles don't work for me and this was always meant to be a stopgap, I possibly wasn't ready to go back when I did but scratching by on 200 euro a week wasn't doing it either. When all is said and done and I'm better mentally I need to retrain and requalify as right now I'm a bit pigeonholed into these types of high touch sales support/admin roles.

 

[kaz7]

Never been on it. Started on Prozac then went on Citalopram, now been on Escitalopram for a couple of years for general anxiety. Seems to work ok but scared to come off it now

Prozac was really bad for me , also now on citalopram and also mitrazapine , brilliant combination for me , i have no intention of trying to get off either , my doctor said i dont need to

 

[johnnytapia]

Prozac was really bad for me , also now on citalopram and also mitrazapine , brilliant combination for me , i have no intention of trying to get off either , my doctor said i dont need to

Took me a few goes (Prozac, Seroxat, Citalopram) before finding the “right” one for me. 22 years on Vanlafaxin plus swim every single day keeps things in check.
Can’t recommend highly enough the importance and positive impact the right meds can give you. Literally a life saver for me.
Exercise too- couldn’t get by without my daily dose of chlorine

 

[kaz7]

Took me a few goes (Prozac, Seroxat, Citalopram) before finding the “right” one for me. 22 years on Vanlafaxin plus swim every single day keeps things in check.
Can’t recommend highly enough the importance and positive impact the right meds can give you. Literally a life saver for me.
Exercise too- couldn’t get by without my daily dose of chlorine

I think the drs should warn more about the side effects from first dose till you settle on it , i had to go on valium to get me through the first couple of weeks as the anxiety was much worse than usual , i was not far short of jumping off beachy head it was so bad