Joke thread

[johnnytapia]

.... the junior hacksaw without blade, an original Stanley knife without blade and a Pozidrive screw driver, the one with a blue handle so you could find it in your red cantilever tool box.

A variety of rawl plugs, red, yellow, blue and brown. And a bradawl. And somewhere in the house, a Haynes manual (or two) for a car that hasn’t been owned for at least 28 years.

 

[johnnytapia]

Several (hundred) tins of various paints, gloss, matt, emulsion and some sticks to stir them

 

[Tuearts right boot]

A variety of rawl plugs, red, yellow, blue and brown. And a bradawl. And somewhere in the house, a Haynes manual (or two) for a car that hasn’t been owned for at least 28 years.

A bradawl.....not heard of one of those in years, probably when I was in the garage as a kid with the old fella !!

 

[RadcliffeRick]

A Stanley Yankee pump screwdriver that has seized.

 

[johnnytapia]

A bradawl.....not heard of one of those in years, probably when I was in the garage as a kid with the old fella !!

My dad was an apprentice fitter at Ferranti’s then an engineer at British Vita. If there’s a tool, nut, bolt, screw that’s not in his toolbox / garage, it’s yet to be invented.
He’s also got all his dad’s old tools. Fucking hundreds of washers, grommets that will only fit on British flanges that were manufactured before the Norman Conquest.
Every now and again he’ll threaten to “have a tidy “ and bin them. And every time he relents because “I just might need that one day”.
Feeler gauges for spark plugs!

 

[KS55]

My dad was an apprentice fitter at Ferranti’s then an engineer at British Vita. If there’s a tool, nut, bolt, screw that’s not in his toolbox / garage, it’s yet to be invented.
He’s also got all his dad’s old tools. Fucking hundreds of washers, grommets that will only fit on British flanges that were manufactured before the Norman Conquest.
Every now and again he’ll threaten to “have a tidy “ and bin them. And every time he relents because “I just might need that one day”.
Feeler gauges for spark plugs!

…..and a manual countersink with a yellow handle.

 

[Yankunian]

My dad was an apprentice fitter at Ferranti’s then an engineer at British Vita. If there’s a tool, nut, bolt, screw that’s not in his toolbox / garage, it’s yet to be invented.
He’s also got all his dad’s old tools. Fucking hundreds of washers, grommets that will only fit on British flanges that were manufactured before the Norman Conquest.
Every now and again he’ll threaten to “have a tidy “ and bin them. And every time he relents because “I just might need that one day”.
Feeler gauges for spark plugs!

I work at British Vita and have never seen an engineer here

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[johnnytapia]

I work at British Vita and have never seen an engineer here

Ha ha. Don’t blame my dad; he retired 20 years ago after doing 32,years at Vita (Vitafoam Middleton then Vitacom, Clayton).

 

[Yankunian]

Ha ha. Don’t blame my dad; he retired 20 years ago after doing 32,years at Vita (Vitafoam Middleton then Vitacom, Clayton).

he was probably the last engineer we had doing anything in Middleton

 

[johnnytapia]

Middleton was a big outfit when my dad was there; 3 plants, 24 hrs a day; two football teams, big employer in the city, world-renowned.
His Clayton time was hard, covered in carbon black, day in, day out. Always on callout fixing some machine or other (usually The Banbury Mixer). We’d be getting ready to go to Maine Rd and the phone would ring. He’d come in to the front room shaking his head, “sorry son...” and that’d be the weekend ruined.
It didn’t happen often but it still breaks my heart thinking of those missed games.

 

[Yankunian]

Middleton was a big outfit when my dad was there; 3 plants, 24 hrs a day; two football teams, big employer in the city, world-renowned.
His Clayton time was hard, covered in carbon black, day in, day out. Always on callout fixing some machine or other (usually The Banbury Mixer). We’d be getting ready to go to Maine Rd and the phone would ring. He’d come in to the front room shaking his head, “sorry son...” and that’d be the weekend ruined.
It didn’t happen often but it still breaks my heart thinking of those missed games.

been there 29 years myself, it used to be how you described it, we probably have about 200 employees on site now but back then we had the Banbury which has since been knocked down and probably had close to 1000 on site then

 

[Green18]

Sad to hear that the man who invented anagrams passed away today.

May he erect a penis.

Lone weld groovy ed

 

[bluemoon32]

The Mrs and I were on holiday in Spain and after a few vodkas and hours of persuasion she finally agreed to take it up the arse.
I was made up there was no way I could get another 8 pouches of Golden Virginia in the suitcase

 

[ray21]

Middleton was a big outfit when my dad was there; 3 plants, 24 hrs a day; two football teams, big employer in the city, world-renowned.
His Clayton time was hard, covered in carbon black, day in, day out. Always on callout fixing some machine or other (usually The Banbury Mixer). We’d be getting ready to go to Maine Rd and the phone would ring. He’d come in to the front room shaking his head, “sorry son...” and that’d be the weekend ruined.
It didn’t happen often but it still breaks my heart thinking of those missed games.

My late Dad worked there in the 60s,I remember his overalls were full of glue,that’s what I think it was lol and he used to bring home the company magazine called Bubbles.