Joke thread

[Indaparkside]

Lent my mate who’s a mime artist £30 that was a month ago not heard from the fucker since

 

[Bill Walker]

I was stood outside the supermarket yesterday and a woman walked up to me with a unlit cigarette and said "Do you have a light cock?"

I replied "Well it floats when I'm in the bath"

 

[sir baconface]

 

[madden150]

Liverpool lol

 

[MellowJoe]

The wife said 'we have so much in common don't we?'
I thought.. i don't like to suck dick

 

[ancoats]

its not a joke but so so funny
but bernard manning just come out of hospital the day before after having a heart problem
and the tizwas team nearly killed him hahhahahaha chris tarrant was in stitches

 

[Bill Walker]

I've got a friend that keeps falling down manholes and hurting himself.

I said to him,

“You've got repetitive drain injury"

 

[Bill Walker]

I’ve been having a clear-out and found my old Bonnie Tyler sat-nav.

It was never really any good. It kept telling me to turn around and every now and then it fell apart.

 

[LWashington]

I’ve been having a clear-out and found my old Bonnie Tyler sat-nav.

It was never really any good. It kept telling me to turn around and every now and then it fell apart.

I bet you got lost in France.

 

[LWashington]

I hate any shortened nickname JLo (Jennifer Lopez) , LiLo (Lindsay Lohan) , SuBo (Susan Boyle) . Although I can't wait for Anikka Albrite to release a pop record.