General / Mental Health Support Thread

Manc in London said:
I have spoken to fairly large audiences a number of times.

What specifically are you anxious about?
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I'm not particularly fussed about the content. It's just when I stand in front of an audience I can feel myself getting worked up.

Can feel a pulse in my throat, heart rate goes through the roof, voice shakes, blushing etc.
 
skillman said:
I have a public speaking event in Feb next year and have high, high anxiety about it. I can't stand getting up in front of people and speaking (despite being confident in everyday life/with my job that requires it) to a large audience.

I am assuming it's a common thing to those on here too? If so, when you needed to do a speech of some sort, how did you 'get over it' and be confident?

Cheers.
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skillman said:
I'm not particularly fussed about the content. It's just when I stand in front of an audience I can feel myself getting worked up.

Can feel a pulse in my throat, heart rate goes through the roof, voice shakes, blushing etc.
Click to expand...
I wouldn't put this as a mental health issue. You're just creating more anxiety by placing the stigma on it. It's totallly normal to have nervous, it's not freaking out outside a Taylor Swift concert.

Four months is far enough away that you could speak with a coach to sort this out.

Check out "anchoring". There are various techniques you can use to feel more at ease.
 
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skillman said:
I'm not particularly fussed about the content. It's just when I stand in front of an audience I can feel myself getting worked up.

Can feel a pulse in my throat, heart rate goes through the roof, voice shakes, blushing etc.
Click to expand...

Is that due to how you think you will be perceived?

  • Prepare thoroughly to the point where you could do the presentation without notes (always have notes just in case though) and to the point where you feel very confident in what you are saying
  • Take a breath regularly between each sentence. Don't starve yourself of oxygen
  • To reduce the number of people staring at you, stand to the slide of any projection of your slides
  • Practice in front of the kids, missus or a colleague. You could even record yourself
  • When looking at your audience, trying looking at hairlines rather than eyes and facial expressions (reduces chances of you being distracted. If you really want to know if the audience are interested, then you will need to look at their facial expressions
  • Focus on the purpose of why you are presenting the information (i.e. what your audience needs to hear)
  • Don't go into the presentation with a high dose of caffeine
  • When we deliver a presentation, we are often talking more quickly than we realise. Thus, don't get anxious about one or two seconds or 'dead air'. It will feel much longer to you than the audience
  • Stick to presenting 'need to know' and minimise 'nice to know'
  • Make clear that questions are to be asked at the end. This will reduce the probability of you being thrown of course
  • Occasional smile to the audience may lead to reciprocation
  • If you cool with meditation and practising breathing techniques, do this beforehand

What's the presentation on? I am curious now.

I hope it goes well.
 
Manc in London said:
Is that due to how you think you will be perceived?

  • Prepare thoroughly to the point where you could do the presentation without notes (always have notes just in case though) and to the point where you feel very confident in what you are saying
  • Take a breath regularly between each sentence. Don't starve yourself of oxygen
  • To reduce the number of people staring at you, stand to the slide of any projection of your slides
  • Practice in front of the kids, missus or a colleague. You could even record yourself
  • When looking at your audience, trying looking at hairlines rather than eyes and facial expressions (reduces chances of you being distracted. If you really want to know if the audience are interested, then you will need to look at their facial expressions
  • Focus on the purpose of why you are presenting the information (i.e. what your audience needs to hear)
  • Don't go into the presentation with a high dose of caffeine
  • When we deliver a presentation, we are often talking more quickly than we realise. Thus, don't get anxious about one or two seconds or 'dead air'. It will feel much longer to you than the audience
  • Stick to presenting 'need to know' and minimise 'nice to know'
  • Make clear that questions are to be asked at the end. This will reduce the probability of you being thrown of course
  • Occasional smile to the audience may lead to reciprocation
  • If you cool with meditation and practising breathing techniques, do this beforehand

What's the presentation on? I am curious now.

I hope it goes well.
Click to expand...

Brilliant, thanks a lot mate. Really appreciate those.

It's a generic work presentation in front of a load of corporate people. You know the type.
 
skillman said:
I have a public speaking event in Feb next year and have high, high anxiety about it. I can't stand getting up in front of people and speaking (despite being confident in everyday life/with my job that requires it) to a large audience.

I am assuming it's a common thing to those on here too? If so, when you needed to do a speech of some sort, how did you 'get over it' and be confident?

Cheers.
Click to expand...

One thing I do before a public speaking event is to visualise an occasion when I felt very confident and then to assume exactly the same posture/body language. The body feeds this confidence back to the brain and this usually helps to diminish any anxiety.

Also, if during your presentation you start to feel nervous again, simply pause and assume the same mindset and posture.

Works in job interviews too.

Other ways to deal with anxiety are described in this book. Unfortunately, I no longer have my copy so I can’t check but I think it covers giving a presentation.

Regardless, it’s a valuable resource and can be purchased secondhand online very cheaply.

I would also add that although I don’t think mindfulness is quite the mental health panacea it is claimed to be, this book is one of the better ones on the technique.

The Mindful Way Through Anxiety

mindfulwaythroughanxiety.com mindfulwaythroughanxiety.com
 
ZenHalfTimeCrock said:
One thing I do before a public speaking event is to visualise an occasion when I felt very confident and then to assume exactly the same posture/body language. The body feeds this confidence back to the brain and this usually helps to diminish any anxiety.

Also, if during your presentation you start to feel nervous again, simply pause and assume the same mindset and posture.

Works in job interviews too.

Other ways to deal with anxiety are described in this book. Unfortunately, I no longer have my copy so I can’t check but I think it covers giving a presentation.

Regardless, it’s a valuable resource and can be purchased secondhand online very cheaply.

I would also add that although I don’t think mindfulness is quite the mental health panacea it is claimed to be, this book is one of the better ones on the technique.

The Mindful Way Through Anxiety

mindfulwaythroughanxiety.com mindfulwaythroughanxiety.com
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Thanks mate!
 
Practise it every day , in front of a mirror , put your shoulders back and make sure to keep them there , the best advice i ever got was fake it till you make it , good luck
 
skillman said:
I have a public speaking event in Feb next year and have high, high anxiety about it. I can't stand getting up in front of people and speaking (despite being confident in everyday life/with my job that requires it) to a large audience.

I am assuming it's a common thing to those on here too? If so, when you needed to do a speech of some sort, how did you 'get over it' and be confident?

Cheers.
Click to expand...
I've had to give various presentations and the only thing that works is to practice like crazy.

You have to be completely confident in what you're going to say - you don't want a word-for-word script necessarily, but you do need a structure for what you're saying, a list of points you want to hit, and you want to practice saying them in whatever wording comes to mind (this is better than scripting it because with a script if you forget the words you freeze, but with experience of wording the ideas differently you just let it flow).

And when I say practice, I don't mean read through your notes in your head. I mean say the actual words out loud.

It's also mortifying in the moment but so helpful later on, if once you're comfortable with what you want to say, you sit or stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye and present the whole thing to yourself. If you're anything like me you'll feel extremely self-conscious doing that, you might stumble over your words, trail off, look away, give up...that's fine. Just keep doing it until you can do the whole thing to your own face.

Once you can do that, you'll smash the speech.
 
Lauz9888 said:
I've had to give various presentations and the only thing that works is to practice like crazy.

You have to be completely confident in what you're going to say - you don't want a word-for-word script necessarily, but you do need a structure for what you're saying, a list of points you want to hit, and you want to practice saying them in whatever wording comes to mind (this is better than scripting it because with a script if you forget the words you freeze, but with experience of wording the ideas differently you just let it flow).

And when I say practice, I don't mean read through your notes in your head. I mean say the actual words out loud.

It's also mortifying in the moment but so helpful later on, if once you're comfortable with what you want to say, you sit or stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye and present the whole thing to yourself. If you're anything like me you'll feel extremely self-conscious doing that, you might stumble over your words, trail off, look away, give up...that's fine. Just keep doing it until you can do the whole thing to your own face.

Once you can do that, you'll smash the speech.
Click to expand...

Appreciate that mate, thank you!
 
I now have to accept that I'm effectively disabled.
Because that's what severe depression and inability to cope with reality is.
I can't go on comparing myself with regular people because I'm completely out of the game.
Things are tough (though not as tough as last week) I might even end up asking for electro convulsive therapy.
 
skillman said:
Brilliant, thanks a lot mate. Really appreciate those.

It's a generic work presentation in front of a load of corporate people. You know the type.
Click to expand...
If that is the case, just remind yourself that half of them aren’t even paying attention to what you are saying. Another quarter will not understand it no matter how well you present. And the last quarter probably already know and agree with what you are presenting!

You’ll do great, mate!
 
PinkFinal said:
I now have to accept that I'm effectively disabled.
Because that's what severe depression and inability to cope with reality is.
I can't go on comparing myself with regular people because I'm completely out of the game.
Things are tough (though not as tough as last week) I might even end up asking for electro convulsive therapy.
Click to expand...
Are you getting any help?
 
My stomach feels like I've swallowed some battery acid or something. It hasn't settled for the last 5 days or so. Bubbling about and making me feel sick.
 
skillman said:
I'm not particularly fussed about the content. It's just when I stand in front of an audience I can feel myself getting worked up.

Can feel a pulse in my throat, heart rate goes through the roof, voice shakes, blushing etc.
Click to expand...
I just want to wish you the best of luck with this, and to say that I know how you feel.

In real life, I'm very confident, but when I was 15, I had to stand up in front of the class an read something out in English class. I thought I was having a heart attack, I had very bad shakes and just like you say, the shaking voice and blushing sound all too familiar.

I don't know if this will help, or even been seen as good advice by some, but I thought I'd mention it here. After that incident (and a few more like it) I went to the doctors and ended up on beta blockers for a few years. They don't take away the fear or the mental anguish at being in a pressurised situation, but they 100% helped with the symptoms and they keep you calm and centred (well, calmer than you would be) in the moment and the shaking/voice etc. is definitely calmer.

Haven't taken them, for years, and it might not be a good long-term thing, but as a short-term fix, it could definitely work. Maybe speak to your doctor?
 
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