Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

Three golf clubs go into a bar.

The first, a putter, orders a beer.

The second, a 7 iron, orders a beer.

The last club says, "no beer for me, I'm the driver"

 

[Lavinda Past]

My mate works for our local newspaper.

To cut a long story short, he's the editor

 

[Lavinda Past]

I wish avocado makers would put in some different toys.

I already have about 50 wooden balls.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I spotted an albino dalmatian dog in the park today.

It was the least I could do for it.

 

[DrBlueBob]

I went on a date with a girl I met in the zoo

I think she's a keeper...

Did she have large hands?

 

[Vienna_70]

A young guy asked the older woman pharmacist "Miss, I'd like four condoms"

The stern woman replied "Don't 'Miss' me!"

"Ok, then make it five condoms"

I posted that one not long ago, as well!

 

[Lavinda Past]

I posted that one not long ago, as well!

 

[Tuearts right boot]

A young guy asked the older woman pharmacist "Miss, I'd like four condoms"

The stern woman replied "Don't 'Miss' me!"

"Ok, then make it five condoms"

Not heard that one before

 

[hammocity]

Strangely my mate at junior school was called Phillip and his parents ran the Robin Hood but that would be about '73/74 and Phillip would now be 62ish.

As I was speed reading your post yesterday I did think you were talking about my mate from all those years ago.

My mate Phil's dad would have had the Corporation at Guide Bridge around that time pal, you wouldn't have known but you probably saw Phil at Ashton Golf Club just after Covid when we played on a Sunday afternoon when you had your regular 4 ball.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I'm taking steps to overcome my addiction to hiking...

I'm not out of the woods yet.

 

[Three_Hat-tricks]

 

[Lavinda Past]

Me and my mates had an argument in the pub over which vowel was the best.

I won.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[johnnytapia]

View attachment 137836

 

[SamTheGuru]

A vegetarian and a vegan jump off a cliff to see who hits the bottom first, who wins?

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[SamTheGuru]

View attachment 138197

This is the joke thread, not the empathy/sympathy thread ;)

 

[TinFoilHat]

View attachment 138198

Only needs will get this.

 

[AliBobbyJ]

I heard of this dating site for old, old buggers.

It's called Carbon Dating.

 

[Hertzblue]