Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Is there an echo in here? :-)
blue b4 the moon
Well-Known Member
Must be from The Giants Causeway.
The leg-end of Finn McCool, then :-l
I know, I know - not funny (but it works...)
NZBlue
Well-Known Member
Ironically I bet the toy Yoda would have proved to be the better investment
NZBlue
Well-Known Member
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
This lady takes her dog to the vet because he can't stop scratching a nasty rash on his back.
The vet has seen it before and gives her a prescription for some ointment that should do the trick.
As the pharmacist hands it to her, he advises "This is strong stuff that can cause a reaction, so maybe wear a soft cotton vest, or something without sleeves for a few days".
"Oh", she replies 'It's not for under my arms"
"In that case, some cool linen pyjamas would be a good idea"
She smiles, "It won't be going on my legs, either. I'll actually be rubbing it onto my schnauzer"
After a slightly embarrassed pause, the pharmacist suggests "In that case, miss, I wouldn't ride your bike for a month..."
The vet has seen it before and gives her a prescription for some ointment that should do the trick.
As the pharmacist hands it to her, he advises "This is strong stuff that can cause a reaction, so maybe wear a soft cotton vest, or something without sleeves for a few days".
"Oh", she replies 'It's not for under my arms"
"In that case, some cool linen pyjamas would be a good idea"
She smiles, "It won't be going on my legs, either. I'll actually be rubbing it onto my schnauzer"
After a slightly embarrassed pause, the pharmacist suggests "In that case, miss, I wouldn't ride your bike for a month..."
My parents went on their honeymoon to Amsterdam in the 1950s and told me about this incredible street entertainer.
Apparently, the climax of his act was to place three walnuts on a table in front of him, then whip out his huge wanger and, using it like a hammer, smash the nuts to smithereens.
When their 50th anniversary came along, as a surprise Dad booked the same room in the same hotel and they had their evening meal in the same restaurant, sitting at the same table.
Taking a walk along the canal, they couldn't believe their eyes when they saw the same street entertainer, so walked up to watch some of his act, which it seemed hadn't changed one bit.
As his finale this time, though, he placed three coconuts on the table before unleashing his still massive schlong and pounding them to mere dust.
After the show mum and dad approached him and explained that they'd seen him 50 years previously.
"I couldn't help noticing", said my dad, "that you've replaced the walnuts with coconuts, now?"
"Well", he replied "you see I'm 88 years old now - my eyesight's not what it was..."
Apparently, the climax of his act was to place three walnuts on a table in front of him, then whip out his huge wanger and, using it like a hammer, smash the nuts to smithereens.
When their 50th anniversary came along, as a surprise Dad booked the same room in the same hotel and they had their evening meal in the same restaurant, sitting at the same table.
Taking a walk along the canal, they couldn't believe their eyes when they saw the same street entertainer, so walked up to watch some of his act, which it seemed hadn't changed one bit.
As his finale this time, though, he placed three coconuts on the table before unleashing his still massive schlong and pounding them to mere dust.
After the show mum and dad approached him and explained that they'd seen him 50 years previously.
"I couldn't help noticing", said my dad, "that you've replaced the walnuts with coconuts, now?"
"Well", he replied "you see I'm 88 years old now - my eyesight's not what it was..."
SamTheGuru
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 14 Sep 2009
- Messages
- 5,272
- Team supported
- MCFC OK
I have a really disturbed sense of humour:
Jeremy Beadle on another level :D
Jeremy Beadle on another level :D
And you had the audacity to post "is there an echo?"
Barry Humphries on Parkinson many years ago, obviously both dead now.
And it wasn't new then.
Come on, if this thread is only for gags that we write ourselves, you may as well close it today.
My 'echo' comment was aimed at a picture post identical to one from about 3 days earlier. I was using it to make a joke, not a complaint.
(in any event, a slight difference between a 1970s chat show and 3 days earlier on the same thread, though?)
I was taking the piss pal, no offence intended, I'm in a couple of WhatsApp groups where posts are copied once, twice or more, sometimes within minutes of each other, we call them BBC2, IE more repeats than that channel. Keep posting the jokes, as an FOC I get to see jokes that are over 50 years old, brings back good memories :-).
Cheers buddy - and sorry for missing the irony :-(
lefty goldblatt
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 1 Jul 2012
- Messages
- 6,708
New bank note ideas wantedsir baconface
Well-Known Member
its a Barm
Well-Known Member
Barry humphries wants his joke back
You've been beaten to it - see above :-)
