Joke thread

[Sam101]

 

[mrcunny]

 

[Casey69]

Ice cream van sign “ stop me and buy one “ !
Condom van sign “ buy me and stop one “ !

 

[Sam101]

I've just changed my name to Steppenwolf.

I was born Toby Wilde.

 

[Sam101]

 

[Vienna_70]

Ice cream van sign “ stop me and buy one “ !
Condom van sign “ buy me and stop one “ !

That must be at least 60 years old.

 

[bluemoon32]

 

[Sam101]

It's sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.

 

[normskih]

Ice cream van sign “ stop me and buy one “ !
Condom van sign “ buy me and stop one “ !

My Dad told once told me that one was out before the War but didn’t say which war;)

 

[bluemoon32]

 

[mrcunny]

 

[dronefromsector7G]

 

[Lou Antony Morris]

View attachment 181349

He's the worst Brazilian since Stevie Wonder shaved his wife’s vagina

 

[NZBlue]

 

[Sam101]

Why do you see so many dyslexics walking in Paris?


It's safer than walking alone.

 

[Sam101]

Every morning, I like to take my pet cow for a walk through a vineyard.

Yes, I herd it through the grapevine

 

[mosssideblue]

 

[KS55]

Every morning, I like to take my pet cow for a walk through a vineyard.

Yes, I herd it through the grapevine

You just can’t beat a silly pun.

 

[bluethrunthru]

An English doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital. At the end of his visit, he's shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims:-
"Fair fa' yer honest sonsie face,Great chieftain o'the puddin' race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place, painch tripe or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o' a grace as lang's my arm....
"The doctor, being somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, who immediately launches into:-
"Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit."
This continues with the next patient:-
"Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,
O what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
wi bickering brattleI wad be laith to run and chase thee, wi murdering prattle!"
"Well," said the Englishman to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for last."
"No, no, no," the Scottish doctor corrected him, "this is the Serious Burns Unit."

 

[Uwe Already]

I’m trying to find a way to make fruit transparent, for raisins that will become clear.