ALL things Rooney PLEASE! [Merged]

[Balti]

I have to know... is this fucking real? If so, I would like to kill the bellend myself.

Agreed - the only regretable thing in this whole saga

What a total cock

The shop should have some guidelines to prevent this happening.

its a medja stunt

''copyright cavendish press''

unless it's didsbury dave?

 

[i8rags]

FACT. rags are even deeper in debt. they have just broke the bank to keep the fat twat.
FACT. well done bobby distancing himself and the club from any transfer rumour.
FACT. Torres.

 

[Prestwich_Blue]

Nice little pantomime played out at the swamp this week. Funny as fuck.

The fans, who had clearly started to desert the sinking ship, have been fired up, the manager and star player have fired a shot across the Glazers' bows and the Stepford Wives in the Stretford End are happy again, when they should be directing their anger against owners that turned a £100m operating profit in a £80m pre-tax loss. Very clever bit of work.

Meanwhile, we've been spared from signing the foul-mouthed, 20-a-day, public urinating, prossie-shagging fat scouse twat, thereby putting money into the Glazers's pockets. Instead they've got to find an extra £5m a year in wages when their corporate hospitality revenues arew coming under pressure.

Everyone's happy and the rags are laughing all the way to mid-table.

 

[Kula Sheikher]

The real reason Shrek is staying at the swamp

http://newsarse.com/2010/10/22/roon...lub-promises-to-sign-world-class-prostitutes/


Rooney signs new contract as club promises to sign world-class prostitutes

Wayne Rooney has made a spectacular u-turn by agreeing a five-year contract extension at Manchester United, after the club agreed to invest heavily in bringing the world’s best prostitutes to Old Trafford.

The news follows days of uncertainty after Rooney publicly questioned the club’s ambition in ensuring only the best professionals were brought to the club for him to play with.

A Manchester United spokesperson explained, “We shared Wayne’s frustration at the quality of prostitutes in the Old Trafford area, but we have now made assurances that we will be looking to bring in the very best talent from Spain and Italy.”

“There’s also this young Dutch one we’ve been hearing rave reviews about, we’ll be keeping a close eye on her, let me tell you.”

“The future looks very bright indeed. Or slightly dim with a red backlight, depending on how you look at it.”

Wayne Rooney Contract
The move is likely to put to rest a tortuous few days in which most Mancunians returned to hating all scousers for the first time in nearly six years.

Fan Michael Jones told us, “It was nice, while it lasted, but I guess we all love him again now. Right? Yeah, I thought so.”

Rooney’s official speaking person spoke to reporters following the announcement, saying, “Wayne has always loved Manchester, but strongly believed there was a lack of ambition to bring the best professional sex workers to the club, especially those willing to do that thing he likes with the enema hose.”

“These concerns have been addressed by the management and chairman, and Wayne looks forward to the next five years of success both on and off the field, and hopes the fans will enjoy seeing the best quality prostitutes gracing the streets of Old Trafford for the next five years.”

 

[Impeccable]

Derby day song.... 'Once a whore, always a whore'

 

[borassic]

Nice little pantomime played out at the swamp this week. Funny as fuck.

The fans, who had clearly started to desert the sinking ship, have been fired up, the manager and star player have fired a shot across the Glazers' bows and the Stepford Wives in the Stretford End are happy again, when they should be directing their anger against owners that turned a £100m operating profit in a £80m pre-tax loss. Very clever bit of work.

Meanwhile, we've been spared from signing the foul-mouthed, 20-a-day, public urinating, prossie-shagging fat scouse twat, thereby putting money into the Glazers's pockets. Instead they've got to find an extra £5m a year in wages when their corporate hospitality revenues arew coming under pressure.

Everyone's happy and the rags are laughing all the way to mid-table.

Ha, brilliant.

 

[hertsblue]

As he said he needs to leave to win tropheys and had a go at thier ambition but has now signed a new contract, is he there only for the money?

 

[r.soleofsalford]

Re: Any chance of a club statement ???

It would be nice for our club to come out and just state for the record that we were not interested in signing Wayne Rooney he was never in our plans and was never going to be in our plans.

IMO this would put an end to this media nonsense and stop Sky and the rag lovers somehow thinking it has been some sort of great victory over us.

what have they got to laugh about. if anything the way everyone was so distraught that rooney was thinking of leaving has made them look stupid. "we love rooney, we hate rooney, we love rooney" ha ha ha. WHAT A SHOWER OF ABSOLUTE CUNTS

what happened to the club being bigger than anyone player. it seemed like the end of football as we know it if not the world.

this changes nothing at least if they had sold him the glazers would have got in some badly needed cash. the rags problem then would be to prize the fingers of the glazers off it.

besides rooney is a mental incompetent who will implode sooner rather than later.

ive loved every minute of the piss taking, some of whats gone has been comic genius you couldnt make it up.

we on the other hand are going from strength to strength. while even with rooney or should i say especially with rooney they are slowly but surely going in the opposite direction.

Allah Akbar

 

[Tricky_Trev]

Is this new deal to preserve his value so that the rags can get a bigger fee for him when he leaves? Perhaps it's a compromise? We'll let you move to your prefered club in January or possibly in the summer, providing you sign this deal to ensure Uncle Malcolm gets more money and to prevent you from leaving on a free? Also, by signing a new deal, he will avoid getting stick off the rag fans and will have been told to "do a Ronaldo" and help the club right up until the point you leave us.

Then again, maybe it was all a stunt and he never wanted to leave in the first place.

 

[r.soleofsalford]

Nice little pantomime played out at the swamp this week. Funny as fuck.

The fans, who had clearly started to desert the sinking ship, have been fired up, the manager and star player have fired a shot across the Glazers' bows and the Stepford Wives in the Stretford End are happy again, when they should be directing their anger against owners that turned a £100m operating profit in a £80m pre-tax loss. Very clever bit of work.

Meanwhile, we've been spared from signing the foul-mouthed, 20-a-day, public urinating, prossie-shagging fat scouse twat, thereby putting money into the Glazers's pockets. Instead they've got to find an extra £5m a year in wages when their corporate hospitality revenues arew coming under pressure.

Everyone's happy and the rags are laughing all the way to mid-table.

Ha, brilliant.

ditto