Anybody lose a parent young ?

[everythingchangesbutblue]

My mum died when i was 25 so not really young. She'd been an alchoholic from a young age. Strange thing is that for most of my life before she died i hated her and as soon as i could i was gone, but now id just wish i could tell her i love her as i dont think i ever did. Found out after she died some of the troubles shed had before i was born. Explianed a lot.

 

[bluethrunthru]

lost my mum 15 years ago when I was 43 and she was 63 .... I still feel it was too soon for both of us. Commiserations to anybody who has lost a parent recently and are struggling to rationalise it.

 

[Scottyboi]

On Saturday it will be the 40th anniversary of losing my mum .....died in front of me when I was 13 ....... anybody else lose a parent young and did it screw you up like it has me ever since ..... I always get hammered on the anniversary day of her death....

I lost my mum when I was 19 she was only 50 and the glue that held the family together. She died of cancer but before she had any treatment, remember coming home at like half 9 with fried chicken not spoke to her all day as she wasn't well and was in bed. Ended up hearing my dad shout and we ran upstairs to try and save her but it was too late, I had to do the call for 999 was traumatising, took years for me to get rid of the anger I had in my life after that, having my own kids helped as I needed something to try and fill the massive void in my life. Mums are really one of a kind and it fucks me off when I see people treating theirs like shit I'd give anything to lie in bed with my mam watching TV one more time and have a little chat.

 

[oldius]

My children lost their.mum this year, aged 47 and my step children lost their father a couple of years ago at the same age.

 

[Magicpole]

My mum and dad split up when I was 11 and I never saw him again for over 30 years. He was as good as dead. The ****.

My mother brought four of us up with me being the eldest. Not easy, but we all got there.

As for the OP that’s a tragic set of circumstances. As for it fuckibg you up ever since, that’s understandable, but try and thibknwhat your mum woukdcwant, and it wouldn’t be for you to be unhappy. Easier said than done, but to try and come to terms with it and think she wouldn’t want me to be thus sad might help. She would want you to miss her but not for one tragedy to be the cause of another.

I hope you can find a bit of peace.

 

[Bozzie]

47 years this year since my Dad died aged 50. I was 12 and my sister 14. They'd been to stay with his bother in Derby and Dad had a heart attack and collapsed in the city centre. I can still remember vividly playing in the back garden in Withington when my Uncle brought my Mum home, as they came round the back of the house and told Craig he needed to go home I instinctively knew something was wrong. Even worse, our kid was on holiday with the school so she didn't get to find out until several days later. Did it change our lives? Absolutely. Quite by chance, my Mum met another bloke only 3 months after Dad had died and, looking back, she was like a teenager again, it's hard to admit, but we weren't her priority any longer, he was. Both of us suffered educationally, Dad was obsessed with us doing well at school and I don't think either of us fulfilled our potential in the way we would have with his guidance. Sadly, in the 60's and 70's it wasn't uncommon for kids to lose one of their parents at a young age but it's fair to say most people worked through it and came out reasonably ok as we did.

 

[Scottyboi]

47 years this year since my Dad died aged 50. I was 12 and my sister 14. They'd been to stay with his bother in Derby and Dad had a heart attack and collapsed in the city centre. I can still remember vividly playing in the back garden in Withington when my Uncle brought my Mum home, as they came round the back of the house and told Craig he needed to go home I instinctively knew something was wrong. Even worse, our kid was on holiday with the school so she didn't get to find out until several days later. Did it change our lives? Absolutely. Quite by chance, my Mum met another bloke only 3 months after Dad had died and, looking back, she was like a teenager again, it's hard to admit, but we weren't her priority any longer, he was. Both of us suffered educationally, Dad was obsessed with us doing well at school and I don't think either of us fulfilled our potential in the way we would have with his guidance. Sadly, in the 60's and 70's it wasn't uncommon for kids to lose one of their parents at a young age but it's fair to say most people worked through it and came out reasonably ok as we did.

My dad was the same after he lost my mum, was like a teenager for a year or so was hard to take and we didn't speak for a year or so. But then I look back and remember he lost his mum,dad and wife within 2 years so I forgive him for his behaviour.

 

[staffs_blue]

My natural mother died the day after my 1st birthday of leukaemia. She was a single parent. I was adopted by her friend and grew up with them being my parents. Never knew who my real dad was.

 

[blue44]

My mam is still going now,aged 78,and to this day her and her older sister don't know who their father was,their three other younger bros and sisters had a different father thats all they know,he died young ( the 2nd father ) too,my gran brought up 5 kids on her own from the late 1930's.I know it has a profound effect on my mum not knowing who her dad was.

 

[Stoned Rose]

Great thread.

I love it when BM comes together like this.