Dear Sir Alexander Ferguson,
I hope you realise how hard we are trying to ensure you win the League. Today we have started stirring up the hornets nest and we feel by 6pm we will be able to announce that Mr Ballotelli will be banned for 6 games. Tomorrow we will start leaking details to allow the witch hunt of Mr Lescott to gather pace. We firmly believe by the same time tomorrow he will also be banned, (sadly just for 3 games) hey we don't make the rules, oh hang on, ok we do but that will be 2 more out for a few weks. We tried to get it to coincide with our laughable ban on Kompany but hey we don't...oh yeh sorry. Please be assured we are viewing all the 95 minutes of the Tottenham match in super slow motion to try and find out if anyone else can be banned. Having now seen it 115 times we think we might have spotted a foul by one of the defenders and if we photoshop some blood could get him banned for 3 games at least.
Ok speak soon all the best from your als at the Prem. aka $ky