Best Alan Partridge Quotes

[BingoBango]

'And the Scottish Division One game between Taste of Dunfermline and Strathcarnage CANNOT BE STOPPED'.

 

[ono]

Alan: So which part of Birmingham are you from?

Man from Dante Fires: I'm not actually from Birmingham Alan, i'm from South Africa

Alan: Ah yeah i should have 'gussed'

 

[masterwig]

TWAT! That was liquid football.

 

[ono]

When talking to Lynn's new 'boyfriend' the ex cop who scares Alan a bit....


Gordon: Do you suppose you'll be prone to temptation, like Adam?

Alan: I think I'd be more preoccupied by the fact I had encountered a talking snake. I think whether I wanted an apple or not would be a side issue. Even if it wasn't a talking snake even if it just rolled an apple towards me and sorta went [nods head towards imaginary apple] I think it would still be troubled. After that I think I'd just put some trunks on and sit down on the grass.

 

[Manny180]

Partridge - I've got more friends than you've got cows. How many cows have you got
Farmer - I've got a hundred cows
Partridge - I've got a hundred and four friends

 

[Anonymous]

i know it isnt a quote, but the horse called 'massive bereavment' made me laugh for weeks.

 

[rushts]

"Tell you what,Tell you what, its nine and a half thousand pounds"............
"Its a hoe-down" I might be down but i'm not a ho.

 

[foxy]

"divorced,

i got access to the kids but they dont wana seeeeeeee meee"

"eee i bet he thinks im a right indecisive teeeeeeeeeetttttttt"

 

[skyblue1894]

Terry Norton "What was that?"

Alan: "A couple of ponces, mincing around, talking rubbish"

 

[Anonymous]

ooooooooooooo, she's nicer than my wife!


needles to say, you took drugs