Dating site experiences and shock horror meetings!

*Milf Hunting Alert*

Picture the scene. I had just returned from a tour of Southern France and Italy. I had backpacked my way around and had returned sun kissed, slim (due to not eating much in the last few weeks) and looking gorgeous. I had been away for 6 months so it was good to be back. I dumped my bags in my room of the house I had shared with a mate and we headed out for a few beers. It was around 2pm in the middle of the week so the idea wasn't to go out to pull but to just catch up.

After a couple of beers in one pub we moved on and found a back street boozer with loads of charm. We ordered and sat down. After a few minutes I looked up and sat at the bar was a slim older woman nursing a small drink. She looked a bit upset. The barman ignored her. I really should of as well but she looked quite nice. It was my round so I approached the bar and ordered before saying "hi" to the lady. She was a stunner. Long wavy hair, all her own teeth and gently crying to herself. She said "hi" back and sort of smiled. I should have walked away with our drinks but stupidly I asked if she was ok. Through sniffles she said she was but just had split with her boyfriend. I did the only thing I could think of, I invited her to join us. She looked over at my mate, who waved, and smiled, picked up her drink and joined us.

After a few more drinks we, as a threesome now, decided to move on to another pub. The crying woman I had first seen an hour or so ago was now a flirty early 40's fox with a fantastic arse and what looked like quite nice tits. She constantly touched my arm, my leg, giggled at my shit jokes...everything. By this time my mate was feeling a bit gooseberry like and downed the rest of his beer saying he would see me later. In my slightly drunk state I just waved captivated by the beauty next to me.

A while later I offered to walk her home but she insisted on coming round to mine, which was on the way, for a quick cup of coffee.

As I shut the door I turned round and she had already took off her top and bra. Her tits were fantastic, shapely, almost symmetrical and topped with two little cherries. I dove in. She was frantically trying to rip off my t-shirt and jeans. I did the same to her before stepping back to admire her beauty.

Now...I was in my early 20's but old enough and experienced enough to do a double take on what I could see.

A bush. Strike that. It was more than a bush. It was a thicket that stretched from her naval down to her thighs. It looked like she was wearing black knickers. I quickly checked. She wasn't. It was all her. And real. She then knelt down and proceeded to give me such a ferocious blow job that I thought my skin had come off. It wasn't just her hands either, she used her teeth. A lot. I had to get that bush and the pain out of my head so I bent her over and proceeded to fuck her from behind. Hard. She just took it. All of it. She screamed at me, telling me to slap her, fuck her, harder, harder.

5 minutes later I was dead. She had killed me. My cock felt like it had been ripped off and reattached without anaesthetic. She snuggled up. And fell asleep. Snoring within seconds. Loudly.

In the morning, after the ale had been washed away, she appeared normal, almost shy, thanking me for a good night and giving me her phone number before disappearing into the morning sun.
 
BimboBob said:
*Milf Hunting Alert*

Picture the scene. I had just returned from a tour of Southern France and Italy. I had backpacked my way around and had returned sun kissed, slim (due to not eating much in the last few weeks) and looking gorgeous. I had been away for 6 months so it was good to be back. I dumped my bags in my room of the house I had shared with a mate and we headed out for a few beers. It was around 2pm in the middle of the week so the idea wasn't to go out to pull but to just catch up.

After a couple of beers in one pub we moved on and found a back street boozer with loads of charm. We ordered and sat down. After a few minutes I looked up and sat at the bar was a slim older woman nursing a small drink. She looked a bit upset. The barman ignored her. I really should of as well but she looked quite nice. It was my round so I approached the bar and ordered before saying "hi" to the lady. She was a stunner. Long wavy hair, all her own teeth and gently crying to herself. She said "hi" back and sort of smiled. I should have walked away with our drinks but stupidly I asked if she was ok. Through sniffles she said she was but just had split with her boyfriend. I did the only thing I could think of, I invited her to join us. She looked over at my mate, who waved, and smiled, picked up her drink and joined us.

After a few more drinks we, as a threesome now, decided to move on to another pub. The crying woman I had first seen an hour or so ago was now a flirty early 40's fox with a fantastic arse and what looked like quite nice tits. She constantly touched my arm, my leg, giggled at my shit jokes...everything. By this time my mate was feeling a bit gooseberry like and downed the rest of his beer saying he would see me later. In my slightly drunk state I just waved captivated by the beauty next to me.

A while later I offered to walk her home but she insisted on coming round to mine, which was on the way, for a quick cup of coffee.

As I shut the door I turned round and she had already took off her top and bra. Her tits were fantastic, shapely, almost symmetrical and topped with two little cherries. I dove in. She was frantically trying to rip off my t-shirt and jeans. I did the same to her before stepping back to admire her beauty.

Now...I was in my early 20's but old enough and experienced enough to do a double take on what I could see.

A bush. Strike that. It was more than a bush. It was a thicket that stretched from her naval down to her thighs. It looked like she was wearing black knickers. I quickly checked. She wasn't. It was all her. And real. She then knelt down and proceeded to give me such a ferocious blow job that I thought my skin had come off. It wasn't just her hands either, she used her teeth. A lot. I had to get that bush and the pain out of my head so I bent her over and proceeded to fuck her from behind. Hard. She just took it. All of it. She screamed at me, telling me to slap her, fuck her, harder, harder.

5 minutes later I was dead. She had killed me. My cock felt like it had been ripped off and reattached without anaesthetic. She snuggled up. And fell asleep. Snoring within seconds. Loudly.

In the morning, after the ale had been washed away, she appeared normal, almost shy, thanking me for a good night and giving me her phone number before disappearing into the morning sun.
Click to expand...

Copyright - Razzle 1982 ;)
 
BimboBob said:
*Milf Hunting Alert*

Picture the scene. I had just returned from a tour of Southern France and Italy. I had backpacked my way around and had returned sun kissed, slim (due to not eating much in the last few weeks) and looking gorgeous. I had been away for 6 months so it was good to be back. I dumped my bags in my room of the house I had shared with a mate and we headed out for a few beers. It was around 2pm in the middle of the week so the idea wasn't to go out to pull but to just catch up.

After a couple of beers in one pub we moved on and found a back street boozer with loads of charm. We ordered and sat down. After a few minutes I looked up and sat at the bar was a slim older woman nursing a small drink. She looked a bit upset. The barman ignored her. I really should of as well but she looked quite nice. It was my round so I approached the bar and ordered before saying "hi" to the lady. She was a stunner. Long wavy hair, all her own teeth and gently crying to herself. She said "hi" back and sort of smiled. I should have walked away with our drinks but stupidly I asked if she was ok. Through sniffles she said she was but just had split with her boyfriend. I did the only thing I could think of, I invited her to join us. She looked over at my mate, who waved, and smiled, picked up her drink and joined us.

After a few more drinks we, as a threesome now, decided to move on to another pub. The crying woman I had first seen an hour or so ago was now a flirty early 40's fox with a fantastic arse and what looked like quite nice tits. She constantly touched my arm, my leg, giggled at my shit jokes...everything. By this time my mate was feeling a bit gooseberry like and downed the rest of his beer saying he would see me later. In my slightly drunk state I just waved captivated by the beauty next to me.

A while later I offered to walk her home but she insisted on coming round to mine, which was on the way, for a quick cup of coffee.

As I shut the door I turned round and she had already took off her top and bra. Her tits were fantastic, shapely, almost symmetrical and topped with two little cherries. I dove in. She was frantically trying to rip off my t-shirt and jeans. I did the same to her before stepping back to admire her beauty.

Now...I was in my early 20's but old enough and experienced enough to do a double take on what I could see.

A bush. Strike that. It was more than a bush. It was a thicket that stretched from her naval down to her thighs. It looked like she was wearing black knickers. I quickly checked. She wasn't. It was all her. And real. She then knelt down and proceeded to give me such a ferocious blow job that I thought my skin had come off. It wasn't just her hands either, she used her teeth. A lot. I had to get that bush and the pain out of my head so I bent her over and proceeded to fuck her from behind. Hard. She just took it. All of it. She screamed at me, telling me to slap her, fuck her, harder, harder.

5 minutes later I was dead. She had killed me. My cock felt like it had been ripped off and reattached without anaesthetic. She snuggled up. And fell asleep. Snoring within seconds. Loudly.

In the morning, after the ale had been washed away, she appeared normal, almost shy, thanking me for a good night and giving me her phone number before disappearing into the morning sun.
Click to expand...

So, did you call her or did she become a lesbian as well??
 
BimboBob said:
*Milf Hunting Alert*

Picture the scene. I had just returned from a tour of Southern France and Italy. I had backpacked my way around and had returned sun kissed, slim (due to not eating much in the last few weeks) and looking gorgeous. I had been away for 6 months so it was good to be back. I dumped my bags in my room of the house I had shared with a mate and we headed out for a few beers. It was around 2pm in the middle of the week so the idea wasn't to go out to pull but to just catch up.

After a couple of beers in one pub we moved on and found a back street boozer with loads of charm. We ordered and sat down. After a few minutes I looked up and sat at the bar was a slim older woman nursing a small drink. She looked a bit upset. The barman ignored her. I really should of as well but she looked quite nice. It was my round so I approached the bar and ordered before saying "hi" to the lady. She was a stunner. Long wavy hair, all her own teeth and gently crying to herself. She said "hi" back and sort of smiled. I should have walked away with our drinks but stupidly I asked if she was ok. Through sniffles she said she was but just had split with her boyfriend. I did the only thing I could think of, I invited her to join us. She looked over at my mate, who waved, and smiled, picked up her drink and joined us.

After a few more drinks we, as a threesome now, decided to move on to another pub. The crying woman I had first seen an hour or so ago was now a flirty early 40's fox with a fantastic arse and what looked like quite nice tits. She constantly touched my arm, my leg, giggled at my shit jokes...everything. By this time my mate was feeling a bit gooseberry like and downed the rest of his beer saying he would see me later. In my slightly drunk state I just waved captivated by the beauty next to me.

A while later I offered to walk her home but she insisted on coming round to mine, which was on the way, for a quick cup of coffee.

As I shut the door I turned round and she had already took off her top and bra. Her tits were fantastic, shapely, almost symmetrical and topped with two little cherries. I dove in. She was frantically trying to rip off my t-shirt and jeans. I did the same to her before stepping back to admire her beauty.

Now...I was in my early 20's but old enough and experienced enough to do a double take on what I could see.

A bush. Strike that. It was more than a bush. It was a thicket that stretched from her naval down to her thighs. It looked like she was wearing black knickers. I quickly checked. She wasn't. It was all her. And real. She then knelt down and proceeded to give me such a ferocious blow job that I thought my skin had come off. It wasn't just her hands either, she used her teeth. A lot. I had to get that bush and the pain out of my head so I bent her over and proceeded to fuck her from behind. Hard. She just took it. All of it. She screamed at me, telling me to slap her, fuck her, harder, harder.

5 minutes later I was dead. She had killed me. My cock felt like it had been ripped off and reattached without anaesthetic. She snuggled up. And fell asleep. Snoring within seconds. Loudly.

In the morning, after the ale had been washed away, she appeared normal, almost shy, thanking me for a good night and giving me her phone number before disappearing into the morning sun.
Click to expand...

All her own teeth eh? Lucky boy!
 
BimboBob said:
*Milf Hunting Alert*

Picture the scene. I had just returned from a tour of Southern France and Italy. I had backpacked my way around and had returned sun kissed, slim (due to not eating much in the last few weeks) and looking gorgeous. I had been away for 6 months so it was good to be back. I dumped my bags in my room of the house I had shared with a mate and we headed out for a few beers. It was around 2pm in the middle of the week so the idea wasn't to go out to pull but to just catch up.

After a couple of beers in one pub we moved on and found a back street boozer with loads of charm. We ordered and sat down. After a few minutes I looked up and sat at the bar was a slim older woman nursing a small drink. She looked a bit upset. The barman ignored her. I really should of as well but she looked quite nice. It was my round so I approached the bar and ordered before saying "hi" to the lady. She was a stunner. Long wavy hair, all her own teeth and gently crying to herself. She said "hi" back and sort of smiled. I should have walked away with our drinks but stupidly I asked if she was ok. Through sniffles she said she was but just had split with her boyfriend. I did the only thing I could think of, I invited her to join us. She looked over at my mate, who waved, and smiled, picked up her drink and joined us.

After a few more drinks we, as a threesome now, decided to move on to another pub. The crying woman I had first seen an hour or so ago was now a flirty early 40's fox with a fantastic arse and what looked like quite nice tits. She constantly touched my arm, my leg, giggled at my shit jokes...everything. By this time my mate was feeling a bit gooseberry like and downed the rest of his beer saying he would see me later. In my slightly drunk state I just waved captivated by the beauty next to me.

A while later I offered to walk her home but she insisted on coming round to mine, which was on the way, for a quick cup of coffee.

As I shut the door I turned round and she had already took off her top and bra. Her tits were fantastic, shapely, almost symmetrical and topped with two little cherries. I dove in. She was frantically trying to rip off my t-shirt and jeans. I did the same to her before stepping back to admire her beauty.

Now...I was in my early 20's but old enough and experienced enough to do a double take on what I could see.

A bush. Strike that. It was more than a bush. It was a thicket that stretched from her naval down to her thighs. It looked like she was wearing black knickers. I quickly checked. She wasn't. It was all her. And real. She then knelt down and proceeded to give me such a ferocious blow job that I thought my skin had come off. It wasn't just her hands either, she used her teeth. A lot. I had to get that bush and the pain out of my head so I bent her over and proceeded to fuck her from behind. Hard. She just took it. All of it. She screamed at me, telling me to slap her, fuck her, harder, harder.

5 minutes later I was dead. She had killed me. My cock felt like it had been ripped off and reattached without anaesthetic. She snuggled up. And fell asleep. Snoring within seconds. Loudly.

In the morning, after the ale had been washed away, she appeared normal, almost shy, thanking me for a good night and giving me her phone number before disappearing into the morning sun.
Click to expand...


Sounds like one that one of my mates told me about.
He said (and I quote), "It was so hairy, I had to give her a reach around to make sure she wasn't one of my bro's".
 
This is one of those threads where you cringe uncontrollably whilst reading, but strangely can't look away. The level of bullshit spouted over the internet is quite amazing.
 
A bad date from a dating site involved listening for a hour or so about 11 cats, something she hadn't mentioned beforehand in our messages and chats which was quite strange seeing as it's all she kept talking about. I did try and change the subject but she managed to go straight back to her beloved cats. I must have given the impression I was really interested in her stories about them when she said something about one of them really liked listening to dance music, at this point my mind wandered and I had a small giggle as I pictured one of her cats with glow stick.whistle, raving and dancing away. I somehow managed to drag myself away from the cat stories with a goodbye with her saying we should maybe meet up again soon and even though she was quite fit there was no chance of going through them again.

The following week I was walking in town looked up and there she was waving at me like loon from across the road .I had a small panic as she started towards me did a quick turn pretending not to notice her and headed down the street doing my best impression of an olympic quick walker with my fat arse waddling down the street, I shot into a Next store and fiddled about looking through clothes while watching the door praying she hadn't followed me in. No idea why I didn't just say say hello and all that as it's not like me really but something in my mind said run. I've never liked cats anyway
 
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