Does death scare you?

A really good mate of mine died yesterday of cancer aged 70, he was 2 months older than me.
He decided he didn’t want any more messing about so refused any more blood transfusions. He had lung and bone cancer, he’d been in hospital 10 days.

I had to give up playing golf and going to the match. I had been a golf club member since 1983 and had a season ticket at City since about 1973.

The only thing that makes me want to hang around is I worry about my wife being alone.

I had a really busy life and now I only go out for medical appointments.

Obviously not looking for sympathy, I’ve had a good life that I’ve lived to the full.
 
Not scared of dying. When you’re gone you won’t know about it anyway.

How you die though, that’s the worry. Something long and drawn out. Something where you are no longer yourself. That petrifies me.
 
As we’re going through the process with my grandma, we’ve been chatting about this on occasion.

She’s frightened to go through the process and doesn’t want to be alone, but she’s ready to go.

What I fear is getting past the point where reality doesn’t really exist and double incontinence begins.

Dying with dignity is probably what I would want, but we can’t really choose. I don’t fear what comes next, which is probably nothing, but not worth wasting your life trying to figure out.
 
Used to be feared of dying but it all changed last year,had a stroke last year(not that kind of stroke)and was the weirdest experience I ever had
stood in front room,felt dizzy sight started to close in like two thick curtains being closed,instead of panicking lay down on sofa and thought bring it on,no panic just a feeling of calm just before the curtains completely closed my sight suddenly returned but the colours where 100s of times brighter so bright I threw up thinking WTF had just happened called GF and that’s the last thing I remember until I was in hospital
the weird thing is that I was told that I didn’t pass out but was chatting to the medics who attended and answering the doctors questions in hospital while having scans etc
So now instead of worrying about death it doesn’t worry me one bit,I don’t know what happened that day but it completely changed my outlook on death
 

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